Searching For The Worst Outfit In 'International Male'

Question: Who shops from the 'International Male' catalog? Surely not international males. For a while there, it seemed to be targeted at Teh Gayz. But the stuff being shilled now? Neither homosexual nor straight men would touch it with a ten foot pole. Satin shirts with matching ties? Gauze overalls? Pirate blouses? The pages offer one offending ensemble after another. And, sadly, this may be the last International Male catalog ever produced — they're joining forces with Undergear.com. As a farewell, check out the most hideous selections from IM, after the jump.

Upon first glance, the orange shirt with pulled-out collar under a white double-breasted jacket is unsavory enough. But look again: Pre-creased jeans and blue suede shoes. Barf bag, anyone?

Squareneck tank and doo-doo brown shorts = Not sexy.

While everything on this page is awful, honorable mention goes to the "Caribbean silk shirt" with laces. Not even Johnny Depp, aka Captain Jack Sparrow, could make that acceptable. Congrats, Dude With Sun-In-Lightened Hair.

"Sleek and modern, suiting gets down to business." Pray tell: Which sort of business calls for an elongated Nehru jacket or a pin-striped leather blazer? Really. Love to know.

Try to decide which color is the worst: Silver, black, or gold. Then get distracted thinking about what would happen if you snagged a fingernail on this shirt.

Sterilize yourself in 2.5 seconds!

The side trimmer, top left, smooths out your love handles, while the one-piece body trimmer below has a panel for your pesky tummy. As for the padded butt brief, well, it should be obvious. Not pictured: The humiliation you'll feel if anyone finds out you own or are wearing one of these items.

Okay, okay, gauze has a casual, comfy, beachy vibe. But gauze overalls? What could be worse?

Never mind.

If you're playing a gangster in a cartoon from the 1930s, this coat is acceptable. Otherwise? No.

This was a hot look once. Marcus Shenkenberg was a hot new male model and Extreme's "More Than Words" was a hot new song on the charts. Those days are over.

Leather overalls? They're just taunting us now.

We have a winner! This has got to be the worst. You probably always wondered where fake vampires shop. (Real vampires would wear Dior.)

[International Male]

Earlier: Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What's The Difference?
Harry, David, Dean & Deluca: Chocolate Pagan Easter Symbols And $6,000 Caviar
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot
'Wooden Soldier' Tortures Your WASPy Spawn With Horrifying, Anachronistic Duds
Pottery Barn, Anthropologie & West Elm: Bedding Porn For Sleepyheads
Brooks Brothers: This Christmas, WASPs Are Mad For Plaid

Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.

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