I would hem that pink dress mini-short and rock that dress in a second. I love 70's slinky Polyester.

is it wrong that i kind of like those dresses?

Are those dresses made out of Qiana?

man in suit: so ladies, you come here often?
woman in white: my girlfriend hates wearing clothes. So do I.

CUT TO:
the four of them going at it to bonk-chi-ka-bonk-bonk music

"...a hint of yes" - what does that mean? More like a hint of WTF.

My senior prom dress was an electric blue spaghetti strap tie at the shoulder floor length Climax, in some kind of slinky fabric like Quiana. I loved that dress. My mom pouted the whole time after I got it cause she wanted me to get one of those Gunnesax/Young Edwardian things that make you look like Laura Ingalls. But I was all about the slinky.

Have I dated myself enough for y'all?

"I'll have that... to go."
What is Nyesta? It sounds like a type of ointment.

@Hamsterpants: I am right there with you and wore the little polly esters to my formals too.

@Archetype: @theloudcorral: I'd wear either of them. I'd feel damn good about myself while wearing them, too.

Kinda like Aggy in her birthday dress.

I would rock the hell* out of that white column.

*If I were six inches taller and not as round. Still. Want.

Sorry, it's Nyesta, not Polyester.

A hint of yes. Not too much, just a hint!

@ladeedah: Nyesta is for when you have a hint of...yeast.

Oh my gawsh ... The peachy colored one is the exact same dress I wore to my high school formal. The year was 1977, and yes, the fabric was called Quiana. It was the perfect medium for catching and holding underarm stink after a night of dancing. Ya gotta love polyester.

I don't think those ladies are hinting at yes, I think they are clamoring. Pinkie's hair is divine. And the dresses were sold at Paraphernalia stores. Why is that funny to me?

I sort of love the drapey craziness taking up the top half of the Pepto-Bismol dress! I would HATE it if I saw Sienna Miller mincing around in something like that, but for some reason these moddles pull it off.

I also love how the moddle looks like she's a leeeetle bit too happy to see Short Menu Guy with Sideburns and Receding Chin.

Proof that Paris Hilton has, in fact, been alive for 10,000 years.

@AbbyNormal: The chick in white totally looks like she's sizing up Giant Nose McMaitre'De's package. And finding it strangely compelling.

@Whinemaker: I gotta add...I thought I was the poop in that dress, and my date was a local radio DJ here in Fresno. He wore a gold lame (sounds like la-may, not lame as in flame). Afterward, we cruised around in his baby blue pinto with the fat tires. Ahhh the 70's. Thanks for the memory blast, Jezebel!

I would so wear those dresses.

@Hamsterpants: @Whinemaker: @bigleggedwoman: You mean I'm not the only one here old enough to remember Qiana? I just thought y'all were rocking wisdom beyond your years.

Pink looks like that it's a hint of no for him, however, girlfriend in the white is starin mad hard at that boner that gots to be behind that menu.

I too thought "opening scene to bad 70s porn".

I also thought "I spy with my widdle eye...two womens that ain't wearing underwears!"

Note that the two are not mutually exclusive.

@Hamsterpants: Hahahaa my mom was all about the Gunne Sax too, lace-up bodice, leg o' mutton sleeves with heavy lace and a big ruffle around the bottom. I envisioned a sexy me at my high school dance... lol

@ladeedah:

I thought it WAS an ointment, like a version of Monistat or something - that's what I thought the ad was for before I read the comments.

Those dresses look Highly Flammable.

Also--and this will out me as a bit of a graphic design geek--see the flare of the pink-dressed moddle's hip, to the far left of the picture, directly in front of the barstool? See how you can tell where her leg begins and she actually looks like she might have normal legs under there? Wouldn't that have been totally Photoshopped down by about two or three inches today?

I am cynical, I know.

@Hamsterpants: @MissLatin: @tscheese: Yes, Pinkie is holding out for someone better, so says her face (hence bartender smugly topping off her glass), but White Dress is thinking, "there's some good lovin' under that paunch." She does love herself an Aqua Velva man.

@tscheese: Oh, hells yeah. They also would have dodged the hell out of the natural folds of the material.

@Joy_Rebar: As if. Let me not get started on the two piece pink Quiana ensemble I rocked at Homecoming that featured palazzo pants.

@tscheese:
I don't know - I feel like anyone whose body looks good in one of those dresses has to be, well, 70s coke thin.

@howdybeep (rear wheel drive): I know this is awful of me to say, but I know they would have also done something with White-Column-Dress's shoulders over there. As it is she looks like a normal, if slim, lady, and her shoulders look just like she's leaning on the bar a bit. But they would have been trimmed and smoothed down. And made inexplicably shiny. And the color of her hair would have been lifted a shade or two and given a tweak toward the reddish side of the spectrum, and her eyes would have been enlarged and separated a bit, and her jaw narrowed.

And they probably would have cloned out the lines on her FEET. Like, normal people can't have feet that actually look like they are bending to support any weight! That wouldn't be Beautiful!

See, I love old advertising because despite the fact that these moddles are obviously very slim and makeupped, they actually look like human beings. Unlike the horrendous advertising of today.

@mollsmolls:
See, I thought it was some type of long-forgotten pharmaceutical a la "Teamisil" - Either way, I'll have what she's having.

It took me a long time to figure out this add was about the dresses. I really thought it was about some kind of ointment or tampon. Nyesta made me think of Nesta chocolate milk

@tscheese: Holy god, I recoiled in horror at that. Unclean! Unclean!

@tscheese: Photoshopped beyond recognition. Puh-leaze. Paris Hilton doesn't look that "good" in her own imagination.

@STICKSnSCONES: I KNOW, right!? They made her eyes face the same direction and everything!

@tscheese: Aaaaaaaggghhhh! What the hell is that stuff? And it has a link to a song by Paris. And Paris, well, is she squatting to pee? I'm so confused. And scurred.

Paraphernalia? Uh, what kind of store was that. It sounds kinky, but the ad says there used to be one in my hometown and my hometown is anything but kinky.

ooohhh, it's canned wine. Or, as they put it, "Flavoured winecontaining cocktail ." Yes, winecontaining, all one word. Stay classy, Germany.

Jesus, is Nyestra a proto-roofie? Cuz that is the only way those two disco queens are going home with that particular waiter. Either that or he's holding.

I love the white dress but I gotta say that woman's right clavicle/shoulder is scaring the bejesus out of me. What the hell is going on there?

wish i had found the white dress when i was searching for prom dresses! but yea i agree, that shoulder is weird. she might be flexing and/or resting her weight on it.

@J.D.Regent: Really, I'll have whatever the ladies are having. Maybe they're talking the waiter into a sexy bathing suit area encounter? And they're going to need that big peppermill. Day-um!

It's nice to see that hairstyle on someone other than Javier Bardiem.

@J.D.Regent: It does kinda look like it's not just wine the bartender's putting in her glass. His smirk is super creepy.

"It's nice to see that hairstyle on the lady in peach on someone other than Javier Bardiem."

Sorry, I must be too turned-on to form a sentence. Guess it's time to open the boxed wine, come to mamaaaa...

@NicoleItchy: @emdy: Her shoulder isn't really weird; it just isn't Photoshopped. I'm sure she's very, very slim and she's putting her weight on it, so her clavicle is pushed up a bit.

It would probably be airbrushed into boneless roundness if we saw it in an advertisement today.

I wonder if the Paraphernalia store is still open. From the looks of this ad, it was quite the fashion icon in it's day. I mean, stores in Exon, PA and Garden City, NJ? Who needs Paris or Milan when you've got Chattanooga, TN?

Oh good lord, I love the Jezebelians. This is RAD.

@tscheese: They didn't have Photoshop in the 70's? Whatever did they do to get models to look "just right?"

They're looking at the waiter's nose... you know what they say about big noses...

Also, does anyone love the way old ad copy kind of reads like Engrish?

Seriously.
You get anything from the seventies.
Or from the eighties.
And you notice it right away.
Everything is broken up.
Into little fragments.
Like this.
It'll blow you away.
It's a way of life.

@tscheese: I didn't catch that until you said so. Is it because everyone at the ad agencies were probably jacked on speed? That would also explain the absurdity of the "hint of yes." This ad makes NO sense & Nyesta is a seriously wrong name for a fabric.

@tscheese: It's prob written like that to accomodate the short attention spans of the coke-addicted.

@rosasparks: And what you said!
Also, Nyesta sounds like Levitra for women. Except that it's making want to drink some iced tea.