Jezebel

Don't drip and drive people.

I can't imagine that peeing and driving is any safer than texting and driving. I'd imagine it takes at least one hand, and some amount of concentration.

I don't even want to know how you hook this up.

Why is there a rose in the advert? What could it represent?

No. Just, no.

I usually use a cup on drunken nights out with the girls. I feel this would be awkward to use in a car full of people.

Ummm.... didn't the crazy astronaut lady wear a diaper for the purpose that she didn't want to stop driving if she had to go real bad? Or you could stop at a rest stop, buy some ice cream, and pee.

i'd rather wear depends -- much more USA Space program.

No way is that thing leak proof for peeing while driving. Just holding that thing at an angle that would permit someone to drive and pee would mean that you'd get to revisit your pee all over again. Next.

Ok, I kinda want.

Except for the prospect of emptying it. I once took a solo drive and had to stop to pee once every hour for 5 hours b\c my bladder sucks and I drank a lot of water/coffee.

Prepare yourselves for the first tragic-yet-side-splitting CNN news alert about this. Also, if you happen to have a weekend job at your local car wash/detail shop, QUIT NOW.

how hard is it to stop somewhere and use a bathroom? even if you are in the middle of nowhere, I'm sure there are bushes.

I'm pretty sure I've never had to pee that bad. And I've had times when I've had to pee so bad I've been crying.

If it is truly leak proof it would almost be better for peeing in the woods. No worries about peeing all over your shoes/pants/underwear by accident.

and it conveniently doubles as a rape whistle!

Can be a real lifesaver if you're stuck in traffic!

I keep picturing being stuck at rush hour, and wondering what the hell the woman three lanes over is doing. It's cracking me up.

But where the hell was this when I was in college, and did those friggin' six-hour drives once a month through backwoods Maine with no bathroom in sight? I can't see this as being terribly useful, but it strikes me as the sort of thing that could come in handy just that one time you REALLY need it.

I have been peeing in bean fields while gripping a truck bumper for years...I don't need such a thing.

Isn't it just really weird to actually order one for that 1 out of 100000 car rides you absolutely can't hold it and can't pull over.

But then I would just have pee chillin in my car for awhile and, like the plastic bag with garbage in it, I say I'll empty it when I get to my destination but never do.

Considering I can't seem to drink anything without spilling some on myself I could see this ending in tears.

I guess anything beats stopping to pee at truckstops that sell creepy things like swords, for example.

i'm not putting that anywhere near my peesh.

it might eat it.

@ilikenoise: Why, that it doubles as a bud vase, of course! I am sure that it has nothing to do with comparisons of female genitalia to soft, pink petals wet with morning dew or gently spread lotus flowers.

how do u wipe yourself after peeing in that thing?

men kissing men, women urinating in urinals, people not going to church?!?!? what a wicked world. ;)

"Leak proof seal" sounds like it could hurt.

I use this in my cubicle at work.

@brooklynchi: "Peeing in the wild" during a night out - even if it's only a big potted plant in the middle of Rockefeller Center - is fun!

Or, uh, so I've heard.

Apparently they didn't take into consideration the design of most womens' pants these days, having all of a two inch zipper and no room or give whatsoever in which to shove a plastic object for purposes of peeing while seated...

What I want to know is how you'd keep it from smelling after usuing it-- I can't imagine that there'd be a handy sink nearby if you're desperate enough to use this in the first place.

So do you just stick it up against your area and leave it there? Cuz it seems like if you peed then try to put it away then it would leak. I'm not getting it.

@mancunian star: WTF?!? Why do truckers need swords?! Am I the only one watching American Justice and City Confidential?

The BF says he already has one of these. I think it does other things too. Lucky him.

I'll be impressed when they invent something you can shit in while riding the subway. Talk about useful.

This seems just about as convenient as a catheter.

Dude, would it kill a girl to pop a squat?

The only time in my life I can think of where I would've wanted one of these (a party on a beach -- lots of alcohol, nearest bathroom a 20-minute hike, 10 minutes of which would've been through dunes in the dark), I wouldn't have been able to set aside my dignity enough to, you know, BRING A GIANT PURPLE SHE-URINAL TO A PARTY WITH ME.

And when something is more undignified than me trying to pee on a dune (and more undignified than how badly this went), it is a bad sign.

my car is gross enough already, thank you very much!

@pureblarney: I have never been able to squat without peeing all over myself. Is there a manual somewhere because I am clueless?

The magic cone website is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. "Hoping you are pleased using the Magic Cone."

That flower is all, "I told my agent 'no,' but bitch booked me anyway."

@e.b.: my friend learned to pee standing up when she messed up her leg. I think it involves manipulating your labia in a way to create a stream or something. i dunno, i'm a peenowner.

Does it come with pellet gun, bone saw, tarp, ball peen hammer and gloves?

I just don't think I could pee into something that looks like it also eats peanuts.

@pureblarney: right? I am uncharacteristically comfortable popping a squat in the woods or at the beach. But using this contraption in my car? not so much.

Why wasnt this around when my mother would drive from San Fran to the remotest parts of Mexico. 2 month road trips are not fun. Especially when your toilet is the desert.

@e.b.: 1. First you need to pick your spot - you want the feet at a slightly higher elevation than where you're going to pee. In the sand or dirt? make a little hole, just like your cat! mountainside? feet on rocks so you pee between them. Also, face downslope so you see where your stream is going and you don't get a little dammed area causing the pee to back up onto your feet before you notice.
2. Pull pants down to knees and squat... All the way down, until you're practically sitting on the ground.
3. Grab the bunched up fabric at your knees and pull it up.
4. Pee to your heart's content.

You may need to shift slightly, or use your keagel exercises to stop if the puddle starts to approach the toes/pantlegs.

What? I go camping a lot.

Also, off-topic, but I need to think of a new username - there's a klassywhithaK who joined a couple months before me, but I never saw before!

pure equality--girls now get to pee standing up! next they'll tell us it's perfect for writing our names in the snow.

@pureblarney: @BeAgrestic: I'm with you two. The idea of peeing into a container, then keeping said container of pee in my car isn't very appealing to me. Even worse - what if the seal isn't as leakproof as they claim, and my cloth car seat became saturated with urine? Now squatting behind a tree or whatever? That's easy-peasy.

@Klassy: totally--a nice sandy spot is so much better than those wilderness toilets. when i was backpacking in big sur they have these giant wooden throne outhouse toilets that they want all the hikers to use in order to keep the backcounty clean, and human waste out of the groundwater. they are gross, smelly, and sometimes full of bees. i nicknamed them wildernasty toilets.

@ilikenoise: Well,I know my poop smells like roses, but not so much my pee. Especially after I drink coffee.

But then I would miss out on the whole experience of peeing drunk in the woods while the breeze tickles my bum...

@Klassy: That is all good advice, and all true, and all offered to me by various people in the past. None of it has ever rendered me capable of peeing outside gracefully without getting it on myself.

I won't drink anything but water in my car; and food is strictly forbidden. Now I'm expected to pee in my exceptionally clean automobile??? Absolutely not.

@petuniacat: I see how it could be useful in an emergency, but I don't know how I would explain it's presence in my car. God forbid there was a random police search! "Uh, that's my Feminal."

@Klassy: I don't think I squat low enough. Also I usually position myself so that I can see down the trail if someone is coming (don't know what I'd do if someone was coming...probably just slip and fall in my pee trying to get my pants up).

Wouldn't someone in a higher vehicle be able to see you?!? How awkward would that be? Especially if it was a kid.

@wigglepuppy: Sand is definitely ideal.

I can't resist - I feel compelled to tell my worst ever peeing outdoors story. (I've peed outdoors a lot - I was raised a nature girl & camped a lot as a kid). I was on a family camping trip when I was 14, and before we set off on the 11 mile hike to base camp, I stopped to pee behind a tree. What I did not know waas that there was a nest of small ground-nesting bees at the base of the tree. They were offended royally by the golden shower, and stung quite nastily at my lady parts. It was not enjoyable.

Moral of the story: Take a look see before you pee behind the tree, lest you offend the queen bee.

(sorry for the rhyme - I couldn't help myself.

@petuniacat: Yick. Yeah, those things are gross - but I do use them when I'm in a park and they actually do go to a septic tank that gets emptied - no special treatment, just 'cause I'm outdoors a lot! On the other hand, I've been to parks where they've pretty much just dug a hole that empties out a bit downslope and put a shack over it. Um. no. I'll go somewhere else, thankyouverymuch.

@BeAgrestic: That last sentence would be followed by, "Mamm, please step out of the car, and don't make any sudden movements."

@petuniacat: Oh my god!!!!
I don't even know how you would treat that.I think I'm experiencing sympathy pain just thinking about it.

I am the only Jezzie who has never peed outside of a bathroom?

I have never squatted, never been drunk enough to use a cup, whatever. I pee where Jesus intended, in the bathroom.