Jezebel

...because... women don't have jobs?

At least we know the vibrator industry won't suffer.

Because that will be the real tragedy.

HER LAST NAME IS WEINER!

Oh, women. Being so intensive to the poor down-trodden middle-class males. When will we learn?

Well sure, but how would they feel about fucking?

@ineffable.me: Seeing WEINER all in caps like that makes Cartman's voice appear in my head. "I touched my cousin's WEI- WEINER!"

Bollocks- when all of us (girls included), lose our jobs, there will be so much more time for sex.

Really? Will they not just fuck the pain away?

Good thing for the plastic manufacturing industry...

@ineffable.me: Hey, this doesn't affect me!
And stop trying to make "snatch" happen.

My boyfriend just got a great new job and recently ordered us some under-the-bed limb restraints.

I'm scared.

Wah, wah, wah.

Women collectively know nothing about how lack of gainful employment and opportunity can decrease our self esteem, now do we?

Those poor, poor menz and their frail weiners. My heart goes out to them.

@ineffable.me: My God, how did I not notice that?

"Obviously the last thing they would be interested in is making love." With any luck, maybe they'll be more interested in housework.

@SarahMC: Because they don't work "real" jobs or done any "real work". Duh.

@Wicked:

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.

@Archetype: Under the bed? How, pray tell, does that work?

Haven't these guys heard of sexual healing? It's good for me.

@Scoregasm: yeah, see, I'm going with the 'lose the job, start drinking heavily, drunkenly make moves on partner/random girl and fuck away' behavior.

@Scoregasm: Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me
Callin' me all the time
Like Blondie, check out my Chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time

I'm so done with "making love." Fuck me already.

@petuniacat: I think if I were unemployed I would be having more sex because I'd be home drunk all day.

Yes, because MEN are the only ones with employment woes and MEN are the only ones affected by a recession and MEN are the only ones who decide when to have or not have sex.

My current employment woes are affecting my sex life negatively and I definitely have more vag than peen, last time I checked.

Go fuck yourself, Oprah.

uhm...then shouldn't the impoverished (i.e., people more likely to lose jobs and have less economic stability) have really low birth rates, instead of the highest? maybe low self-esteem makes women extra fertile. ;-)

Well I don't want to make love anyway because I am not a character on Passions.

@petuniacat: I can't really tell. I just saw a photo. I didn't know they existed.

It doesn't look very fun, but I guess I will give it a try.

Y'know, every single guy I've ever dated who's gotten laid off has also laid off our relationship within 8 weeks (this has happened 4 times in the past 12 years). It's amazing how fucked up men get when they lose their jobs.

For the record, I could care less how much money they make and I've been very supportive when they get laid off. But then again, I have a good career of my own and maybe that actually contributes to them wanting to end things?

Curious to know if this has happened to any of y'all.

@videogoddess: because I am secretly a 12 yr old boy :(

@myrtlebeachbum: I know, right??? What are we actually making but a bunch of noise?

Aw, the poor men, we just can't understand how they suffer. But we can try, right? Here's how I picture the thought process:

Sex = way for me to prove my awe-inspiring masculinity
Awe-inspiring masculinity = derived 100% from the fact that I work
No work --> no awesome masculinity --> nothing to prove through sex

boo fucking hoo.

be a man and get in my vagina. if you're invited.

Um, the best way to cheer up both members of my household is with sex. So recession=more sexin.

...and I'm suddenly hearing GreenDay "if 's lost it's fun your f*-ing lazy." Considering the amount of bitching i hear from couples about being too busy to screw, unemployment seems like the perfect remedy to getting it on more often. (But use protection! You can't afford another kid in a recession!)

@ineffable.me: Goddamnit, I came barrelling into this thread to holler and LOLler about the name "weiner", and you already stole my thunder.

My thunder is ALL I HAVE IN THIS SHITTY ECONOMY.

Hee. Weiner.

@Archetype: Have you read Gerald's Game? Stephen King? Please keep your cell phone in your hand the whole time. Or your mouse.

@myrtlebeachbum: 10 days, baby...

@zivah: Well, that does make sense.

Haa, wiener reminds me of that Gravy Train!!! song.
"'cuz you are long in the pants
short in the wiener
sucking my muff like a vacuum cleaner."

@brookidy: Don't tell that to a girl with a vivid imagination......

@petuniacat: I may very well be in love with you for that.

One of the many wonderful things about fucking? It's usually free.

@BeckySharper: Yes. 4 year relationship. Talking about marriage. He gets laid off, I get promotion. Instant breakup.

If that's where his maturity level was at, it's for the best anyway.

I have never understood this low self-esteem = less sex thing. The best cure for low self-esteem, depression, crankiness, boredom, and/or cramps is sex. Plus, it's free, so even if you're out of a job, you can still have as much as you want. So what is problem?

Yes, and I'm sure the men's magazines are all gathering around wondering what effect the recession will have on our self esteem, and sexual fulfillment.

@Archetype: Yeah, that didn't sound so good.

@tscheese: I am fast like a COBRA!

@brookidy:
Unless you're a politician.

Note to fellow males, please repeat: "My career is not my penis."

@Archetype: If nothing else, perhaps it will make certain awkward yoga poses more doable?

@Wicked: Aw, thanks. *blush*

Won't someone PLEASE think of the poor peens!

Though, if I'm really pissy and stressed and overworked and I feel like I smell bad because I just spent 13 hours doing both my work and someone else's work because we're short-staffed because we can't hire anyone else, I am not exactly going to feel like a lot of nookie is exactly what I need when I walk in the door.

Mostly I want a clean kitchen, dinner, a lot of wine, and a shower right when I walk in the door after a shitty economy-caused day like that.

Also I hate feeling like I smell bad.

What? A woman's vagina is only for the pleasures of the male anyway...sheesh, a recession will make our unused bits whither away! Well now, at least we will have more time for housework!

My fuck buddy actually just got fired yesterday, and I've been tired/busy with my awesomely awesome secure career lately, so this is actually good news for me.

@brookidy: OMG I tried reading that book, but when I get to the part where she's trying to "slip out" of the cuffs, I had to stop because I almost passed out. I decided I really didn't care if she got out and started on a different book.

@Archetype: No! It's fun!!

@Archetype: Oh, no, don't be scared! They're easy. Same function as handcuffs, essentially, but with less mobility.

I was actually housesitting once, and my lover and I were playing with them. Yeah, I forgot to pack 'em (on account of them being under the bed, ya know). The homeowners must've liked 'em, though, because they never called.

@AllanaSmithee: Ugh. I think you're totally right. Imagine if you'd been married.

My friends call this the "Jack Berger phenomenon" after the SATC character who dumps Carrie by post-it b/c he can't live with the fact that she's a more successful writer than he is.

@TwoScoops: For me, the job-related sex woes are because I'm so fucking stressed at my current job, which is 1000 miles away from my boy and the recession means (a) I'm getting more work at my current job and (b) there aren't a whole lot of openings available. So we don't have many opportunities for sex and I'm hella stressed and angry all the damn time, which doesn't make for hot lovin' when we do have the opportunity.

Of course, I'm not a dude. My self-worth isn't tied to my job. So obviously, according to WEINER, I don't have recession-related job woes affecting my sex life.

@zivah: hahahah! That's awesome. I like them because I am lazy. And they, uhh, reinforce that.