If these are printed on American Apparel tees, I will shoot myself in the head.

I hope rape never becomes "mundane"

@MaeHemm: agreed.. this is an idiotic "statement"

Yeah I don't know if people would want to wear this t-shirt. Don't you want to forget that it happened? Where do you wear this to bring up a conversation? And do you want to talk about your rape with a stranger while waiting in line for a burger?

Bad Idea. Bad Idea. Bad Idea.

"Ashamed of something unfortunate?" What. the. mother. fuck.

Hmmm. I will be interested to read the comments/opinions on this. I had a violent tragedy happen to my family, and while it wasn't rape, it also wasn't something people "feel comfortable bringing up at the dinner table." Violence is not a comfortable topic and people don't want to discuss it, period. I wouldn't want to advertise my or my family's pain on a t-shirt in order to "stimulate" conversation.

On the other hand, sexual violence DOES carry a whiff of shame with it, which is a disgusting truth. Efforts to de-stigmatize are a good thing, but is it such a good thing to define oneself by virtue of one's victimhood?

Having an abortion was a choice - being raped is not.

Right there with you, Jessica. If a discussion about rape or abortion needs to happen, the least effective way to facilitate it might possibly be to wear the words on a baby-t or trucker hat. I understand the concept, but the execution is really distateful.

It's rather like wearing a t-shirt saying "Some jerk gave me herpes."

Would it force the topic into conversation? Yes. Take away the shame? Probs not.

It's just not one of those things you force upon strangers. You talk to your best friends and maybe family about it. Obviously, if you become an activist/public speaker/counselor, that's a little different, because people are actually seeking you out to hear about it.

But random strangers? That's just awkward.

My 2 cents.

Yeah, I'm not sure I'd want to discuss rape at the dinner table, either. Sounds like something Augusten Burroughs would write about.

yay for attempting to remove the stigma of rape, but not sure if a t-shirt is really the way to go.

I think Jezebel is already doing its part to make rape an everyday conversation.

(And force me to stay inside, because stabbity stories WILL make me punch the first dude who tries to say something to me in. his. nuts.)

I'm thinking this shirt will not sell so well.

Worn at a protest, a walk, a rally or your group's booth at the student center, fine.
Cheesecake Factory? Not so much.

okay, no one has said it yet so i will.

i was raped and all i got was this stupid t-shirt.

(seriously, that's what this does. makes talking about rape into a commodity and a joke)

A better way to get rid of the stigma might be to call people out when they make dismissive comments about rape victims, or tell oh-so-hilarious rape jokes. Combat the myths and hold your ground. I'm sure most people who see this t-shirt won't even get it.

I was totally for the "I had an abortion" t-shirt. It shows that you took agency, that you are the owner of your own body, that abortion shouldn't be any more taboo than having a cyst removed.
Rape... isn't like that. Being raped is losing control over your body, having your agency taken away from you. While I do think more women need to talk about it, and we need to stop the culture of silence around sexual assault that we're still in, I don't think this is the way to go. Abortion and rape are very much apples and oranges, and can't, shouldn't, be treated in the same way.

I'd like it better if the back of the shirt said-

"and I put the fucker that raped me in jail"

Why not just take it a step further and add "And all I got was this lousy t-shirt" to the slogan? This is stupid. Discussing my rape is not something I want to do in everyday conversation. "Hey! Did I ever tell you about the time I was raped?"... not quite the ice breaker I'm looking for.

I don't know if a t-shirt is the proper venue to get people talking about rape. Because for every honest person who wears it to spark a conversation and get it out in the open, some asshole hipster will buy one just because he thinks its "funny."

@SarahMC: or you could do what i do and not know anyone who would tell rape jokes.

@CMG: @MaeHemm: @petuniacat:
Is this not supposed to me metaphorical? Not nec 'rape' per se-as in the physical sense but as in 'rape'? Like the 'rape' of women on a daily basis...

You know what? The more I think about this the angrier I get. Fuck you, Jennifer Baumgardner, for commodifying sexual assault.

@pferde_schwanz: You're an ass.

Call me a bitch, but it annoys me when strangers force uncomfortable or difficult overshares on me. Unless it's anonymously on the web.

@rantmagazine:boo hoo: I don't understand your question.

I think the designer used the term "rape" literally.

@rantmagazine:boo hoo: Nope, it's supposed to be literal, just like the "I Had an Abortion" shirts.

Listen, I don't think that this shirt is inherently distasteful. My feeling is that if you have been raped you have the right to deal with it in any way you see fit, and if that means you only tell a few people, or if you wear a t-shirt about it, or if you sky-write it, I have NO right to have an opinion on it. You do what you need to do to take back your power and heal.

Destigmatizing rape needs to happen.
Providing people with more ways of speaking about rape without shame and secrecy needs to happen (t-shirts are not a great forum I think).
Allowing rape to become mundane really really really needs to not happen.

i dont really know what one would expect from wearing a shirt like this. if i saw it, i would firstly feel very sad for the person, but also wonder if it was a cruel joke, and then probably get pissed off and call them some sort of name under my breath while walking away.

I can't believe they're printed on American Apparel shirts. Brilliant.

I actually feel pretty good about the t shirt design. I think the image is emotionally powerful and not distasteful. My step mother actually does talk about her rape at the dinner table. Not constantly but when it's appropriate, and without shame. It was a part of her life, it is something that it's important for me to know about her to understand who she is. I really respect that about her. That said, I'm SO pissed off that these shirts really are printed on American Apparel T's. What the fuck? Someone really should have shot that down early in the conversation.

I disagree with the main post here. Like the abortion shirt, there seem to be few things that a woman is less "allowed" to say than "I was raped" or "I had an abortion." The very fact that a group of progressive-minded women are uncomfortable with a shirt that even presents the opportunity to "say" this in public, regardless of the fact that no woman will be wearing it unless she wants to, speaks volumes. If a woman doesn't want the possibility of a conversation with a stranger on the subject, I suspect she won't wear the shirt. But, can you imagine that the stranger who sees it had the same experience, and maybe feels a little less like she is supposed to hide that fact?

The only way to even begin to address the shame aspect of rape is to allow women to communicate to the world that it happened. How can it ever NOT be shameful if feminists blush at its very mention?

I don't think that rape needs to be banished from dinner conversation (with some of the conversations I have at dinner, believe me, I'd be an asshole to keep rape off topic). However, I agree that wearing this to Burger King really is not going to further awareness.

However, I'm not sure that's exactly what this is for. I think it's more of a statement and is probably meant for Take Back the Night rallies and women's studies classes. Or at least girl's night out!

@zoobabe: YES! That I could see, because it would put the POWER back.

@SarahMC: oof, that was sort of harsh, no?

@nellicat: My parents went through a bitter divorce and, while it's not something I'm ashamed of and will talk openly about, to an extent, with people I don't know very well, I'm not about to start walking around with a t-shirt that says, "My parents marriage ended in a firey blaze of glory and when my mom moved us 1000 miles away from my dad and evil step-mother, this t-shirt was the only consolation prize." Nor do I want to discuss it at a dinner party. So I can't even BEGIN to imagine why anyone would want to wear this t-shirt.

@ineffable.me: I'm not sure how I feel about the shirt listing rape, but how about a shirt saying, "1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted." And then having those women stand side by side by side.

I think I'd wear that shirt. While it might make some people uncomfortable it could possible open up discussions about it. And I'd rather we start talking about it openly rather than freezing when the topic comes up or having people think it could either never happen to them or to someone they know and love - their daughters and wives and sisters and mothers and grandmothers.

I would wear a shirt about sexual assault and welcome some dialogue about it.

@ElleL: Do tell. What sort of name is appropriate for a rape victim who dares to say "I was raped?"

@Beigebaby: *Ka-blewy*

@AkaMerideth: It's not about blushing! It's about something being stupid. Just because the intentions are noble doesn't mean that we have to accept the result with open arms. It's a bad idea. It's a fucking bad idea. Rape and abortion aren't the same thing and she's assuming that they are and therefore treating both the same way.

@ineffable.me: Insinuating that I choose to hang out with rape apologists, or that you can tell immediately whether or not someone is the type to make light of rape, is assholish and illogical.
Like nobody here has ever gotten an offensive email forward, or encountered rape apologists online or in the workplace or in class.

@AkaMerideth: Agree with this. Rape is a crime. You wouldn't be ashamed if someone mugged you. It is the attitude towards women's sexuality that makes rape shameful.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. In a way, I think it would be pretty powerful for everyone who was raped to wear this shirt, maybe on the same day. I think a lot of people are in the dark about how many women have been raped. It would be an eye opener.

Just to clarify, it seems that she calls the shirt and NOT rape "mundane." I doubt she wants to make rape seem mundane.

There's obviously a shady line here, between making people more comfortable discussing it and coming forward to authorities, and making it all seem too every-day and whatever, making people desensitized. Just ask Dick Wolf (which is a joke, kind of.)

@myrtlebeachbum: Okay let's not jump all over Jessica. Often we are so pressed for time to put up posts that wording goes up that we then go back and tweak, which is what I just did. Let's keep the focus on the NY Times story, and not rail on the writers, people.

@myrtlebeachbum: Uh, yeah, poor choice of words.

@katastic: I agree. I think it's kind of tacky, but if it helps someone, somewhere heal from the experience, then that's cool.

@Sugarless: I think a shirt that said a statistic or whatever would be a better way to open dialogue. But I can't imagine many women want to relive traumatic experiences at the drop of a hat. I mean, let's say I saw you wearing that shirt, what am i supposed to do about it? Am I suppose to be like OMG You were RAPED? Please tell me all about it. Or am I supposed to be all OH NO You were raped? I am so sorry. I just think either way it's sort of patronizing to whoever wears it.