Mariah Carey Is More Important Than Elvis, Not Only In Her Mind This Time

  • Mariah Carey has officially had more #1 hits than Elvis, not that the whole math of hitmaking is really what it used to be, and speaking of math she explains her whole theory of relativity thing thusly: "It's like emancipation of Mariah Carey to the second power and beyond." [WSJ]
  • The man with the uterus is supposedly appearing on tomorrow's Oprah. I am so, so sad I'm taking the rest of the week off. [People]
  • A bunch of new polls say Obama is gaining on Hillary in Pennsylvania. This is confusing, because just two hours ago I got an email from my friend, a Hillbot, claiming that the opposite was occurring, and I shot back that blah blah blah I don't believe polls ever, and that is particularly true right now. [Philly.com]
  • A human-cow embryo was created in Britain and it survived for three days. Somehow this sort of advancement is supposed to actually make stem cell research less controversial with religious people and such, although I think the scientific community might be overestimating the religious community's capacity to understand how. [Reuters]
  • You thought they couldn't find a new a twist on the power figure/prostitute scandal but! The spouse of Michigan's junior senator was fucking prostitutes. Yup, the spouse of (female) senator, Debbie Stabenow, was caught picking up a $150 hooker in the town of... Big Beaver. [Wonkette]

  • A couple married for 75 years died within hours of each other. People who knew them were quick to point out that she got really fat and that he stayed terribly thin so I guess that whole body weight-mortality link isn't all it's cracked up to be. [WFAA]
  • An unconstitutional law to almost-ban abortion will probably be back on the South Dakota ballot in November, though it didn't pass in 2006 and the past two years have not exactly been awesome for their cause. [Wash Post]
  • Wal-Mart, which was always a pioneer in ensuring all its employees were so impoverished they'd always be eligible for federally subsidized health care, is now doing some confusingly contradictory things and my head hurts.
  • A new province in Western China is getting angry at the government, only this time — oh noes! — it's the one with the angry Muslims. Who are demanding that the government allow them to wear headscarves. THE BETTER TO HIDE THEIR WEAPONS. [IHT]
  • It looks like Robert Mugabe has lost the Zimbabwe parliamentary elections. This by no means means the end of Mugabe's 28-year rule, but it does mean something...Developing. [NYT]
  • Bye guys! You won't see me till Monday. Now, to summon the willpower to get the entirety of the rest of my life that is not this blog sorted out before then.