No doubt this post will inspire grief because it breaks an unspoken rule: speak no ill of a former Jezebel writer. But it is a good yarn — well, more to the point, it is NOT — and it speaks to one of the reasons Jezebel will improve so greatly under the corporate embrace of Conde Nast. Read on, and pity the fool. A photo recently surfaced of Lucy Southworth in college. You should know who Lucy Southworth is, but lest you don't: she is married to Google co-founder Larry Page, who is a billionaire many times over who is not headed to jail. A closer inspection on the part of Jezebel editor Maureen Tkacik revealed that the photo depicted the radiant Ms. Southworth sitting in Ms. Tkacik's house with three of Ms. Tkacik's closest college friends, one of whom she had actually reportedly given a blow job on one occasion. Today, Ms. Southworth is engaged to one of the most powerful men on earth.
Another of the friends in the picture is a high-powered producer for a top television network who owns a Brooklyn condominium, another is in law school, and the last is independently wealthy. And where is Maureen Tkacik? Why, living in a tiny fifth floor rental apartment with the selfsame roommate — and, we hear, the selfsame Judas Priest photo —with whom she lived in the picture, which was taken ten years ago; a cautionary tale in downward mobility if there ever was one. She doesn't so much as recall meeting the future billionaire, and why would she? Her most salient memory from the house in which Ms. Southworth was photographed is being rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
Ms. Southworth is not alone; Ms. Tkacik crossed paths in school with numerous other individuals who proceeded to achieve things in life: Donald Trump Jr., one half of the screenwriting/production duo behind the Harold & Kumar films, New York Observer reporter Doree Shafrir. In fact, her entire life might be considered a case study in how not to climb the social ladder, and, the photo below, wherein she sits next to Kretchmar and her present roommate, goes much of the way to revealing why: that ensemble.