In Praise Of The Lesbian Feminazi High School History Teacher

When a bunch of high school asswipes start a male-only Facebook group trashing their female teachers — and Star Jones? — with a barrage of incoherent misogynist babble, it is annoying, but seriously, shit like that is happening every nanosecond; it is just one of the things you file under "why The Internet was maybe not such a good idea after all." When it happens at a snotty New York private school and the dudes in question are the sons of really important people, however, it's a New York magazine cover story. So let us begin! The rogue boys set to work dissing teachers. One was an "acid casualty," another had been "banged" by a student. One poster bragged about beating women when drunk, another added this salient comment about women's rightful role in society: "WHERE DO THEY BELONG?!?!????!!! IN THE KITCHEN!! IN THE KITCHEN!!!" A separate group was formed specifically to attack history teacher Danielle McGuire; its founder illustrated it with a picture of the "witch" Tituba. Upon viewing the names on its membership rolls, McGuire "trembled" a bit.

So what do we learn? Well, we learn that the rich fucks who brought these precious kids into the world are not very sensitive to the plight of Danielle McGuire. In fact, they sorta discipline her for viewing their kids' Facebook pages under a false name. What the fuck? Well, see, last year a teacher wrote a satirical novel based on the school and, you know, it eroded community "trust." Wait, is "trust" the right word, guys?

The whole story is a painful read, one of those murky things where you feel everyone sinking into the putrid realm of Encyclopedia Dramaticata. But whatever; you know, teaching is a fucking bitch no matter where you do it, so I thought I'd use this space to deliver this message to high school teachers: high school students are the lowest life form. Please assume that they are jerking off to your image even as they are discussing your lesbianism and assailing your leftist ideology in forums. Don't read about it on the internet. You probably just represent an affront to all the values with which their despicable parents have reared them, and also, remember, they are worse than terrorists. Take heart in their antagonism. I recently attended my high school reunion, and all the shitheads were talking about was how you saved them from turning into Republicans.

Academy X
After Facebook Scandal, Horace Mann Forced To Ask What Values It Should Teach [NY Mag]