"My New Baby Is Cute, But She Doesn't Go With My Chairs"

Last week's New York Times touched on mamas-to-be and home renovation projects, but in today's Independent focuses on décor. We're introduced to one Fiona Rattray, who writes, "My new baby is destroying my perfect designer home." How's a mid-century modern mecca of a home to survive something so, ugh, nouveau as a baby?! Angela Kinsey (who plays Angela on The Office) tells the Times that "being pregnant makes you crazy to get things done around the house." Rattray would probably agree with the idea that children can make one insane, though her motherhood madness has her on the verge of banishing her baby. Because high chairs do not match Eames chairs.

Somehow, someone, somewhere, forgot to give me the pill from the bottle whose label read: "You've just had a baby, from now on your aversion to all things cute, cuddly or smothered in teddy bear pattern will be forgotten. Go forth and spend a fortune on useless furnishings and ugly-coloured plastic items. Everything you thought you knew about how ' you wanted your home to look is wrong. Oh, and if it's a girl, prepare to like pink."
Sure, some mommies can get a little nuts stocking up on expensive shit: After all, a baby doesn't know the difference between Hermes and KMart. But Rattray doesn't want any baby crap. She's trying to skip getting what other people consider to be essentials. Like: A changing table. Um, where you gonna change those poopy diapers, Fiona? On your Saarinen dining room table from Design Within Reach ?

When Rattray's daughter was too big to be bathed in the sink? "I was tempted by the practical white number that sits on top of your bath. Unfortunately, in the flesh the object in question has all the elegance of a plastic garden pond. I'm not paying £20 to ruin one of my favourite rooms, so it's back to the sink and hope she doesn't grow any more." How realistic! And loving!

Ultimately, Rattray learns to tolerate her daughter. "Harper has discovered the art of bashing using a sweet little wooden [car] with red wheels. Trouble is, it's our Barber Osgerby Loop coffee table she's chosen to practice on. The plywood surface now has several deep dents on it..." (The car "mysteriously migrates" to another room.) But hey, Harper, when you get older, mommy might buy you a $33,000 Eames playhouse. Not that you'll be allowed to play with it.

My New Baby Is Destroying My Perfect Designer Home [Independent]
Nesting With A Vengeance (And a Deadline) [NY Times]
The £17,000 Wendy House: Why The Luxury Kids Market Is Booming [Times of London]