You don't even have to read all the copy in this vintage ad. Key words and phrases jump out at you: "smell nice," "warmth and moisture," "miracle-worker" "dry and fresh and confident." Yeah, in case you didn't figure out already that it's deodorant for your stinky vadge (because wimmins smell "down there") one look at the pink spray can surrounded by pearls ought to clue you in. (Click image to enlarge) [Vintage Ads]














Comments
"Nature is working against you"????? Aack!!!!!!
ahhhh the HORROR.
confident? connnnfident?? if you have that much of a problem that it hurts your confidence, you should probably see a doc. cause johnson and johnson can only do so much...
Funny how the product is named "Naturally Feminine," when its purpose is to artificially conceal the real natural feminine scent.
Then you spray that shit down there, get a raging yeast infection, and the cycle starts anew.
I don't understand vag deodorizer. I have never been able to smell another lady's vagina from afar, or even aclose.
So confoozed plz xplane.
Cause no one wants to smell your stinky vagina.
*sigh* How can one thing be so sought after and so ostracized for being what it is?
Oh, please. My vagina smells like cupcakes and rainbows.
Naturally Femanine: Making your pussy smell like flowers since 1949.
Kills odor-causing bacteria? So this is Oust, but for vadges?
My vagina smells pristine and dewey, like a petunia or a library cataloguing system.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Mine smells like moonbeams.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: If you need deodorant for your vagina, what you really need is a trip to the gyno. The thing is self-cleaning and should not require perfume unless something's up. (I've said that a thousand times?)
Once, just once, would I like to see something like dick deodorant. Let's see how men would like an aerosol can aimed at their bits.
- Mom, do you ever have a problem feeling fresh?
- What do you mean, sweetie?
- You know, do you ever have a problem with freshness?
- I'm not getting what you....I don't understand.
- Do you ever feel unfresh? Down there?
- Oh....OH!!!...Oh...Oh, God no. No!
My vadge is self cleaning - like my oven!!!
@nex0s: but not your cache. important to remember.
If your vadge is the pearl, does that make your vulva the oyster?
Keep your icky deodorants AWAY from my vadge, kthxbai!
I don't even put regular soap near it, so why would I spray it with shit?
Also, does Johnson and Johnson know what a pearl necklace is?
@Elisheva: Thank you. What would they call it?
On a somewhat but not entirely unrelated note, does anyone else think semen smells like brie?
My vaj is like Obama...rainbows, lollipops, hopes and dreams!
"just as soft and pleasant as Johnson & Johnson can make it"
just ... ew
@Elisheva: Seriously, right? Their business doesn't always exactly smell like gardenias, yo. In fact, I'm thinking more along the lines of "slightly off submarine sandwiches."
Guys, if you smell like slightly-off submarine sandwiches down there, it's kind of not sexy, okay? All of your bits are surface-washable, so could you please pay more attention to them? Rub a dub.
@nex0s: Amazing.
@KittenFluff: Brie with a touch of cumin?
@Elisheva: Dude, tons of 'em would love it. The ones who're always dousing their balls with talc anyway. But I would love to see a correspondingly cheesy ad for some male freshener.
ahh that really looks like a hairspray can.
who would ever spray anything, let alone something aerosol, near their vaj??
@ineffable.me: Haha, what was that? I so recognize it!
@nex0s: Don't ovens generally lock down when going through the self-cleaning mode?
......ohhhhhhhhh!
@zivah: It's called Axe, but it usually has the opposite effect - ha!
@ineffable.me: Oh god! I just saw that Family Guy the other night. So funny.
@ineffable.me: That sounds like something from All in the Family. I remember Gloria was trying to have a discussion with Edith about something similiar.
My vadge is not so classy and prefers to wear gauche diamonds.
@blondegrlz: vadge flowers.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: maybe they can work on cupcakes and rainbows next.
@megnificent: You should copyright the "Oust for Vag" idea. I can just see it now, next to the "Febreeze for Fannies" and "Lysol for Labia".
@Elisheva: You mean there isn't any such thing... then why have I... oh dear...
Ah, yes. Brut Cock Wash.
@ToniRockyhorror: I've constantly told the 8 year old boy I watch never to wear Axe because it'll make him smell "like high school". it terrifies him.
bactericide???
sounds like a yeast-y waiting to happen
@special_boots: family guy.
that show is worth all its other lesser than special moments for that parody alone.
@Pinkosaurus is able to comment. Yay!: My vadge prefers tumbled turquoise in hammered pewter. It's violent.
I'm moist like a snack cake, and this spray would totally ruin it.
@Sugarless: You are a genius of phrasing! I never thoughtof that.
@ineffable.me: That was Brian's favorite commercial.
What's with the pearls? Is anyone else thinking pearl necklace?
@ToniRockyhorror: I want a genitals-specific one. Maybe a dude about to go out, and then he pauses and goes and grabs a can of aerosol and sticks it in his pants. For some reason, I'm seeing gym shorts. And he sprays. And then a soothing voice comes over - "for when you're feeling 'not so fresh' down there."
moooooiiiist pyaaaanties. gross.
@KittenFluff: I won't pretend that I am not head over heels in love with Brian.
@KittenFluff: OMG, yes. One time I made baked brie and it tasted just like come. I couldn't eat it.
There's also a tree near my house that blossoms that smell exactly like jizz. Little kids on their way to school walk by it and say, "this tree stinks!" I'm like, "Kids, you have no idea."
Do unicorns ever get that "no so fresh" feeling?
@haguenite (back out of exile!): You beat me to it.
Can we seriously discuss the fact that vaginas smell like vaginas? I'm not going to say that mine smells like pixie dust and sunshine, but seriously, it's part of a human body! Now if it actually smelled, like, foul or offensive, I would know that I needed to get to the lady-doctor post haste. But it doesn't. It smells like a vagina. It doesn't need to smell like anything else. It is fine. It feels nice, and it does its job. Don't hassle the box.
@jenny_dreadful: Is it a Bradford Pear? Is it sad that I know that? Those things smell like ass!
@ineffable.me: I am, too. I find Seth MacFarlane's voice (and, actually, him) very sexy. Even though I imagine he might be a jackass in real life. I went to Family Guy Live, where the cast did a live reading of an episode (they were promoting the show's return) and I was totally swooning.
@zivah: It's marketed for men under 'athlete's foot' spray.
"Naturally Feminine!" Making you an Unnatural Concept of The Patriarchy since The Dawn of Time! See the other products in our line, Footbinding Spray (so your hubby isn't grossed out when he unwinds your bandages) Underboob Spray (so you don't smell under your corset) and Overall Odor (which confuses you into getting barefoot and pregnant)Try them all today, the men will love you more!
@SouthernSatine: OMG, THAT'S the name I was looking for