Breaking News, drunkenstepfather, gawker, valleywag, walt disney

Disney Resorts Wants More Visits From Perverts, Chronic Masturbators

What's that banner ad getting the way of your Kristin Davis porn? Oh look, it's for Disney Resorts. Maybe you should take the kids this year! Anyway, this screenshot, and many more if you click, come to us courtesy the investigative journalism of the DrunkenStepfather, who found them surfing the putrid site Egotastic and emailed us with a typically inimitable missive (actually, you should click for that alone.) And to think we were just posting how great minds think alike! Enjoy!

The email:

You all know that I love you. I try to help you out where I can and I jerk off to your successes but when I saw a Disney Ad next to the Kristin Davis Blowjob pictures on Egotastic, I had no choice but to do a post. Reality is that I have no issue with his site, sure he's a virgin, but I love virgins, just ask my stepdaughter's friends.
I thought it was funny and newsworthy and hope you can link it because I am in the mood to get someone at Disney fired....I want to see this story on CNN so help.

And part of his post:

The most wholesome family corporation fucks up again. First, Walt Disney was caught molesting kids after taking them to his magic kingdom and showing them special cartoons he drew for them on his penis, true story my grandmother told me he did it to her. Then they made Nazi propaganda videos for Hitler to help kill the jews who were stepping on Disney's Waspy toes in Hollywoo. Then they were accused of subliminal messages in they movies trying to program kids to hate black people and gays and now they advertise next to porn.

Now, we should point out that these allegations are mostly untrue. Walt Disney produced anti-Nazi propaganda and led the anti-Communist effort in Hollywood, and the rest of it...well, it's the Drunken Stepfather. They have committed some evil.

I was scoping out some celebrity smut site that pretty much only posts celebrity nudity, sex tapes, nipple slips and upskirts next to some seriously desperate, virginal commentary and I was pretty shocked to see Goofy staring back at me.

2:20 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Moe
10,837 views
30 comments

Comments

franceshasbeen at 02:32 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

See, I've got a feeling Drunken Stepfather pretends to be a huge moron most of the time. Okay like 99 % of the time.
This is hilarious.
Le Kangourou de... at 02:33 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 658

hahah... pluto has a bone(r).

Yes, i am a 12 year old boy.
LoveNoelG at 02:34 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

You guys are all about Disney lately. Sup with that?
Trashtastic at 02:35 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 548

The End Is Near.
lisas at 02:39 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 163

Oh good, I was SO WORRIED that I would have to actually visit the gross DS site to read his shit. Thank god I can read his insightful, relevant commentary here on Jezebel. God knows we need more of his style of blogging, and it's so hard to find it elsewhere on the Internet.
BlondeGrlz at 02:40 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 383

Wait, are those ads really for Disney or some travel agent scammy type site? I want to click on one but I reeeeeeally don't want to go to see any of those pictures. I could make you a "Disney" ad in about twenty minutes that involved Mickey doing very dirty things with Minnie AND Daisy Duck.
haguenite at 02:40 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 145

Part of me is very amused. The other point of me is wondering why this was posted... I think the amused part is greater though.
searched.and.seized at 02:40 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

So very tired of Disney.
CorporateTool at 02:41 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

This is less a failure of disney, and more a failure of google adwords, or their advertising agency.
QueenOfOuch at 02:41 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

I can has orgasm AND personalized Mickey Mouse ears???

Sweet.
ExtensionOfBob at 02:41 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

I appreciate the look of horror on the face of the little girl who is appropriately dressed in a Snow White-inspired frock.
Rhody at 02:44 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 166

Two Disney posts in a row? Remember when we used to talk about fun stuff like vibrators and pooping? I miss those days...
zivah at 02:44 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 233

@searched.and.seized: Yeah. Didn't care then, don't care now. I'm not a kid and I don't have them.

Can we talk about sex or drugs or rock and roll or something? I'm getting very tired of all the, "oh, when I was a kid..." That shit is fun - very, very occasionally. The rest of the time I want to talk about female ejaculation or something.
angryblackgurl at 02:45 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

I have never gotten over the cost of a meal while at Disney. Each meal cost me equal to a month of groceries for my entire family. Disney sucks!
Le Kangourou de... at 02:46 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 658

@ExtensionOfBob: When I dressed up to go to Disney world I was always Minnie Mouse. Dress, shoes, ears, gloves, bow. I was her for Halloween a few years ago too. Obviously, I have a problem.
AthertonMerriweather at 02:50 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 361

Well, they do have an island of pleasure....
McCheeburger at 02:54 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

OK, since parents typically fund the Disney trips, I guess this posting would posit that adults should not be viewing naked celebs?

At least the Disney ad is not as annoying as the ginormous "The Tudors" banners threatening to swallow this whole site.

Pfft.
eleanorstrousers at 02:54 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

@Rhody: Ah. I remember those days. Now it's Mickey Mouse and his merry band of minions all the time. Sigh.
McCheeburger at 02:55 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

Err, sorry, thought I was still on gawker.com.

Partial withdraw of previous post.
serreca at 02:57 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

The thing about his e-mail that disturbed me the most was this line:

I have no issue with his site, sure he's a virgin, but I love virgins, just ask my stepdaughter's friends.

Um, gross.
♥ dosido ☮ at 02:57 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 338

Get rid of the American Apparel ads and we'll discuss this, peeps.
zivah at 02:58 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 233

@serreca: Even jokes in poor taste can be funny. At least to me.
serreca at 03:00 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

@zivah: Sure they can. I guess coming from him, though, it just really disgusted me.
Katxyz at 03:00 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

I like smut, deals on hotels and Disney. I'm glad that I'm part of a larger demographic.
KittensMcgee at 03:00 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: That's the first thing I thought too.
optical_allusion at 03:02 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

But why oh why is the Read More link go to "Benazir Bhutto Dies After Being Struck By Bomb, Shot In The Neck At Rally?"
andBegorrah at 03:03 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 209

Is this Drunken Stepfather's idea of doing community service? 'Cause I don't think this was quite what was in mind in those Misdemeanors posts. Good try though; now go volunteer at a soup kitchen.
ExtensionOfBob at 04:03 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Yes, yes you do. :-) But it's ok. I totally just bought a pair of Minnie Mouse gloves.

I was all about dressing up as Mickey. B\c he had my nickname. But that didn't become my nickname until I was 13.
Cutting Makes You Sexy at 05:26 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*

I find his posts slightly endearing now... mostly because Slut Machine described him (at least this is the picture I got of him) as a shorter, overweight pimply face kid in his middle twenties who still grows the wispy, patchy facial hair of a 14 year old boy...

Then everything he says is just kindof endearing.

Offensive, yes, but more so pathetic, head pat worthy, and wholly unaffecting.
random_play at 09:01 PM on 03/27/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 16

"Disney Resorts Wants More Visits From Perverts, Chronic Masturbators"

Is this headline even statistically possible?