Would that be like a groundhog doing something to me and my ending speaking with a Canadian accent? Subtleties.

Looks like that monkey is needing a visit from the Sexual Harrassment Panda. Yikes!

The unicorns are spreading their evil!

Wow, that wombat's hand looks almost human - it's like Maggie Simpson's hand if she was a real little girl. Creepy.

All together now: "Monkey see, Monkey do!"

I know that there are documented cases of women being raped by orangutans. Can you fucking IMAGINE? I need a brain shower now.

Cuz the human rapists apparently aren't enough to worry about.

My friend's obnoxious dog humped me into a CD stand and all of the CDs fell on my head. I am thinking of suing for damages.

Wasn't Shia LeBeouf the wombat mascot on Even Stevens? Not that I watched it or anything....

From the article:
"India has had problems with monkey violence in the past, and in some areas has resorted to training larger, more violent monkeys to combat the pests.

Last year the deputy mayor of Delhi was killed after being attacked by a hoard of wild monkeys on a balcony."

Holy fuck, dude.

"wombat" is one of the best words in the whole world. Say it aloud: wombatwombatwombat. Fun, right? [So I'm having a really boring day, apparently...]

Oh dear god. I'm embarassed to be Australian. And from New Zealand. But I do wub dat wombat! Mind you they can be fierce creatures. And lazy.

Where was this couple having sex that the monkey saw them?!

@NefariousNewt: Bwaahaha! You read my mind!

@eeva: Many moons ago in college, one of my friends had a superhero in role-playing campaign called "Wombat"... ah, how I miss those days.

That monkey is staring directly into my soul.

please, like anyone can tell the diff. between a kiwi and an australian accent?

@eeva: Best hostel I ever stayed in was a place called "Wombats" in Vienna. It was soooo clean.

@J.D.Regent: Um only kiwi and aussies can. I'm and Aussie in England and most of the time people can't tell the difference. I always get asked Kiwi, Aussie or South African.

@NefariousNewt: @hfree: Do you think I could make it my middle name? Or should I save it for my firstborn?

@mollsmolls: Maybe Britney could use large violent monkeys to fight off the paps.

@ineffable.me: Those rapey bastards!

The worst part is that the monkey is now a registered sex offender. That shit will follow you forever.

@BAngieB: Well, she is rumored to be reconciling with K-Fed...

@Rhody:

Did you at least get to smoke a cig afterwards?

I like to imagine that amorous couple noticed the monkey watching them and said "Oh hey there. Like what you see, monkey?"

@mollsmolls: there was a story a few years back about how monkeys wrecked a library at a women's college and attacked the women.

@amandahugnkiss: hahaha.

@amandahugnkiss: comment of the day, and still so early

@DorothyZbornak: Pretty soon all the domestic pets will have been converted and you'll never be safe having sex with your cat watching you.

@ineffable.me: Or lazy sex with your dog on the bed - not that I've ever let that happen, or anything.

@eeva: These are my children: Andre, Lisette... and here's little Wombat, he's the shy one.

@amandahugnkiss: And don't forget all of the monkeys that have been falsely accused, their lives have also been completely ruined.

@AthertonMerriweather: By a pool at a hotel... the monkey was working as a pool attendant at the time, but he's subsequently been fired.

Attempted rape by monkeys? Sounds pretty much like a Saturday night in the East Village.

@whats_in_a_name: And how embarassing for their families! It's a shame cycle.

@nellicat: I will never sleep again with that thought in my mind...

I can't even look at an orangutan without feeling sick anyway. I feel a full blown phobia developing by this evening!

@zivah: exactly. next thing you know youll wake up and Scrappy will be teabagging you.

And speaking of teh secks, what is a decent interval between bonings? For instance, if you go out with Person "A" on Monday and get teh sex, then you have a date with Person "B" on Tuesday, is it OK for teh sex on Tuesday, too? And where do handjobs/BJ's fit into this equation? Do they count?

I've always been sexually attracted to silverback gorillas. Is that weird?

@westendgirl: comment of the day #2! This thread is gold.

@PantyWaist: Yup

@whats_in_a_name: And what about all the poor 17-yr. old monkeys having loving, consensual sex with their 15 yr. old human girlfriends?

@amandahugnkiss: I know! There's this one monkey i know who can't even get a banana off of his favorite tree anymore without all the other monkeys acting all weird just because his ex thought it would be funny to accuse him of rape.

@NefariousNewt: hahahaha! You almost made me waste a perfectly good Mini Egg.

First unicorns. Now monkeys. Next thing: narwals. This is upsetting.

@westendgirl: Um, what? Please tell me you didn't mean "monkeys" the way a 1960's segregationist might have meant monkeys?

@NefariousNewt: "What's that, Womby? You hate Mommy? Wombat Theodore Hieronymus Harrington! Don't ever say that! ...Oh, he's just kidding around. Wombat loves his Mombat really, don't you Womby."

@treecut: Is it bad that I just thought of Jamie Lynn and Casey? Not sure what that means...

@mollsmolls: This is a TV movie of the week waiting to happen. "Based on real events!!!"

@eeva: Ok, I did it, and you made me laugh. Do you feel good about yourself now? DO YOU???!!! ;-j

You know guys, there are a lot of wombats and monkeys that get wrongly accused of rape, I think it's important that they be judged in front of the law before we go ahead making all of these snap judgments and accusations.
Would we be having this same conversation if it had been a FEMALE wombat or monkey?
I didnt think so.

@ineffable.me: You monkey rape apologist. I've had it with your hate. Be gone.

@bipolarcurious: I totally read that as immature hipster monkey boys, race-neutral.