Jezebel
Elle's Beauty Genius Awards are...well, I was going to call them the MacArthur "Genius" Fellowships of beauty, but look here — the magazine actually just went ahead and called them the "Nobel Prizes" of Beauty, which pretty much takes the wind out of my faux-hubristic sails. Anyway! It's an invaluable spread filled with the collected wisdom of 25 hairstylists, makeup artists, colorists, dermatologists, cosmetic dentists representing the "brightest stars" in the business of Making You Beautiful, and I am here because I wanted to share with you the explanation of Facialist and "former chemist" Mady Shany, healer of Hollywood's A-Listiest acne problems, as to why you should switch up your skin care products every three or four months. "Bacteria figures out what you are using to kill it and becomes immune to ingredients." Wait, really? So...these breakouts...they're like a mild superbug?? Is the advent of Purel and hormone-treated beef making our skin stay uglier later?
Could this somehow explain why people in countries with more isolated food systems have such great skin?? (Not that I know, I'm just speculating. Uhhhh, hm.) The thing is, most acne fighting products aren't really going after bacteria at all. It seems like the point of most of them is to dry out the face and/or heal inflammation. I don't know, of course; I am no genius. But, you know, it sort of just occurred to me; for presenting us with so goddamn many words per month on skin care, these magazines have not taught us, like, anything about our skin. Do you think they figure that "remember to invest in a whole new regimen every three months or so" is all we need to know?
Comments
Bacteria is intelligent! Someone organize a right-to-fug protest at the Proactiv factory! And a counter protest: KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY T-ZONE.
I am seriously thinking of going organic. It seems so expensive though....
You're talking about skin as though it's an organ when it's really just something that we can prettify. What I'm looking for is the issue that will tell me what to do about my spleen looking so dowdy and old for its age.
just another way magazines encourage us to spend money on the products they advertise.
I just burn my face with a lighter whenever pimples appear. I have such smooth, hairless skin...
Yes bacteria can and do evolve--just check out the latest MRSA epidemic. Staph aureus is a bacteria, and P. acnes is the bacteria that causes acne so I can't imagine why it wouldn't evolve as well. And you are correct - bacteria is hard to target since it's under the skin, and it's pretty hard to target a single pore and accurately inject an antbacterial agent.
The reasons why people in modern times have shitty skin:
1) too much sugar in diets
2) too many preservatives
3) harsh chemical exposure
4) poor diets lacking in essential nutrients
5) exposure to hormones and other growth factors in our foods
purel is the devil. Mark my words, people.
I feel like skin truly has a mind of it's own. If there were specific products for each ailment, then why do some products work miracles for on person and not for another?
Plus; you do not need a whole new regimen every 3 months! I hate magazines. I'm beginning to wonder why I've chosen beauty as my career path...
@dummyfakeroller: It's the largest organ we have...
I call bullshit.
The only bacteria you need to kill is that Gingivitis shit in yo mouf. If you have acne, see a dermatologist who can tell you what to do. A lot of acne is genetic/hormonal, and it doesn't have shit to do with bacteria. Most of the time.
But, if you need to kill bacteria, the alcohol in the toner you should only be buying twice a year or less will take care of that for ya's.
@SammyKitty: Actually, I use organic stuff and it makes my skin look/feel fantastic unless I start taking my birth control pills at varying hours of the day/week and fuck my hormones up.
I also like it when the stuff I put on my body isn't filled with carcinogens.
Y'know, unless you count all the cadmium paints I use and rub into my skin and eat without washing my hands...
Eh, could they be advocating the purchase of an entirely new and different skin regimen every three months because the primary purpose of these rags is to SELL PRODUCT? Just sayin'.
@SammyKitty: But didn't year hear? That shit'll kill you too.
I wash my face with soap about once a week now. Most days I just rinse it with warm water. My skin looks better than when I was rotating 3 different products.
@Hamsterpants: Oooo, the bacteria will get you for saying that!
I'm with BDJ. It's totally hormonal for me when I break out. Persistent acne is not a bacteria problem.
@Hamsterpants: Agreed. But you know, at least they're being HONEST this time!
@melinderr: It was a joke.
I'm just glad I'm not a teenager anymore.
@dummyfakeroller: I gotcha. Funny, too.
Diddy says Proactiv is the key to preservin' the sexy.
@Hamsterpants: That = the point of the post. consumerism masquerading as junk science etc. etc.
@PinkSoxHat: Oh snap. I forgot about organic cancer. At least it will kill me in a totally natural way.
@gluecake:Sweet. I am going mostly* organic next time I shop then.
*pizza lunchables are not organic :(
detox the liver! seriously, i hear it works. get those chinese patches and your skin should clear up.
Dizzudes. Don't waste your money. Cetaphil, toner, moisturizer, maybe a little retin-A every few days. Not to much soy, dairy, conventionally farmed meats or anything else that will freak your hormones the fuck out.
I feel like it's best not to read the articles in ladies mags. This is all.
@dummyfakeroller: Not counting my dick!
My bff has BEAUTIFUL skin and she says she never EVER washes her face (not even with regular soap). Its either genetics or those fools from Elle are on to something.
@bananaballs: The ones you put on your feet that they advertise on TV? I have a better idea: send ME $50 and I will have the Haitian lady who sits on the corner chant to lift evil zit spirits from you - this pimple ghosts were put on your family in a former life and only she can clear them up, and only if I tell her to, and only if you pay me. Cash, COD or checks, no credit cards please.
The weirdest skin remedy I've heard recommended (and only from Californians) is colonics. People really will do anything.
@Moe: I get it Moe. I just meant that for some readers, this will come as a startling revelation and something they MUST try.
@hamburgerhotdog: On your face or in your intestines? Cause if we're talking face, I'd rather have acne.
@SammyKitty: Try the Arcona line. I've been using their raspberry acne bar and it works pretty good. I hate that it is in bar form, and it seems like it's expensive ($38) but it lasts for fucking ever....even though b/c it is all-natural and you're supposed to chunk it after 6 months, I don't care. Anyways, my point is that it is good and organic. And beauty.com carries it and they have lots of sales all the time so go buy another bar, and go ahead and get one for yourself too, sugar pants.
@hamburgerhotdog: Those are crazy! What is up with disgusting info-foot products all over the tv lately? The Ped Egg commercial almost convinced me to just give up TV altogether.
@Hamsterpants: This thing kinda looks like a facial colonic. [www.amazon.com]
But no, I've heard people swear that pooping is the key to clear skin. And I haven't heard any authorities back that up.
@hortense: Remember those "ugly toenail fungus" commercials from a few years ago? The nail fungus monster haunts my dreams.
Oh, and folks, take your Omega-3 fish oil supplements 2x per day and your skin will glow like pregnant Angelina. For realsies.
@hortense: DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE PED EGG COMMERICAL! Officially the worst egg ever!
@hortense: MY BF said something so disgusting about that PedEgg commercial I almost hurled. He said it would be funny to empty the "filings" into someone's parmesan cheese shaker.
@hamburgerhotdog: Ah, the cult of "death begins in the colon." Utter rubbish. How you organic-food-store-haunting nuts slay me!
@hortense: I must find this. But I am still very amused by HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD commercials for just getting right to the fucking point.
@Hamsterpants: Thanks, i just died.
@hortense: the ped egg commercial nearly made me vomit once....when that shit comes on the air i simply change the channel. GUH-ROWSE
also - i went to a derm before i got married and homegirl put me on an antibiotic and some creams (i have mild to moderate acne)
nothing worked. the antiobiotic made me nauseated, depleted my sex drive and stole my appetite. i switched to yaz and had amazing results. although i would still drink goat's blood if it meant porcelain skin
@hamburgerhotdog: Oh, you don't want to mess with the Ped Egg. There is a scene that involves emptying said Ped Egg (which is filled with dead foot skin! Yum!) into a wastebasket that will make you hate feet forever.
You already hate eggs, though. So the Ped Egg won't cost you in that department.
@zivah: Thanks. I thought I sounded believably vapid for a minute and it scared me.
@melinderr: Remember, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.
@BDJ's retirement golf cart: Oh...those commercials were the WORST! Did they finally stop running those?
@axel_f: @hortense: I just realized I sort of need that product. I have pterodactyl claws for feet and I made the nail lady cry last time I got a pedi.
@hamburgerhotdog: For me, yeah, the regularity is key to having nice skin. No matter what I'm doing to my face, if I don't poo each day, my skin gets all broken out, etc.
Yay citrucel! Also those metamucil capsules with calcium. Pricey but worth it.
@hortense: Is it any worse than this, which I used and them have to wipe up all my little flaky foot scrapings off the ground [www.drugstore.com]
Look mom, I'm making DUST!
@BDJ's retirement golf cart: My fish oil caps always give me terrible indigestion. This in spite of the fact that I chose them because the label reads "No Fish Burps!"
@MsPointy: Ew, also, I just typed "regularity" referring to crappage. I lose.
@BDJ's retirement golf cart: I worked for the company that created those. And Juan Valdez. Wish we could have crossed the two characters. We had fuzzy fungal toe toys around the office.
@hamburgerhotdog: [www.pedegg.com]
You have been warned.
@hortense: HOLY CHRIST THE PED EGG ON THE BALLOON!!!
I just watched the commercial for the first time and it was like a combination of things I'm scared of: eggs, balloons, mangled dude feet.
I'm gonna be sick.
@hamburgerhotdog: THE WORST!
We should sue the makers for distress.