Being excluded from work-related social gatherings is a negative? Jesus, sign me up.

All of the behaviors listed above seem like what you might expect in most corporate environments. Unless the bullying affected by ability to perform or advance, I don't think I'd sweat the evil glares. It sucks sometimes, which is why they call it "work".

i had a coworker give me the silent treatment for over 2 weeks. my crime? snapping at him for pestering me about a project. the best part? he's in his 60's.

my supervisor continuously sends emails saying "let's do this" or "we should do that"... but what she really means is YOU do this and YOU do that, and I will be riding your ass in a passive-aggressive high-school-girl-catty kind of way until you do.

I evil glare back. I didn't think it was bullying though as much as a sign of mutual contempt.

the office - new episode NEXT WEEK babes!

My boss actually does things like hold grudges, yells, flicks you off, etc etc. I'm pretty sure it's considered a hostile work environment.

All these scream: grow some thicker skin! but then again, my mortal fear is crying at work and my boss is the ice queen to end all ice queens...sigh....

NEWS FLASH: NOT ALL NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR LEFT IN CHILDHOOD

Ugh, I work with somebody who is just a jerky lady. She gets in moods where she just doesn't feel like dealing with work, and so if you try to get something done, she gets all snappy. And if you don't know her secret industry lingo, she treats you like a fucking idiot.

I've had numerous people come to me and say, "Why does Bitchy get so mean when I don't know about paper stock?" But she does it to everybody and most people know it, so we just ignore.

@DavidWatts: That's why I got an Indian burn for not filing my TPS reports.

I worked with a woman who was downright crazy, and our boss was the worst kind of wimp. The combination just killed what would normally be an okay work environment and made it an episode of Survivor everyday. I transferred out but I felt so bad for some of my sweet coworkers who could afford to get out.

I work with a woman who will just flat out ignore you with the silent treatment if she decides she doesn't like you personally. I've seen her standing at the elevators and just completely ignoring VPs and other superiors who are making small talk about the weather. She'll just stare straight forward and pretend no one else is there. Or you'll see her in the halls and say "Hey" and she'll just sort of sneer at you and keep walking. It's very odd.

I hate it when I get guy-in-next-cubicle-cooties. Then I have to spray my invisible anti-cootie spray all over my desk.

Oh my Gawd, y'all, I have a coworker who intimidates me to no end. I have never been in this situation before. I have never, ever had a problem with "intimidating" people before. I usually do quite well with them, actually. But there is another attorney in my office (a lead, I'm a second chair) who terrifies me and makes me feel like the biggest dumbass in the history of the world. I really kind of hate her. And I get nervous when I'm supposed to do something for her, which makes it more likely I'll fuck it up and she will think I'm even more worthless. It really fucking sucks.

My only consolation is that she does it to other people too. Not just me. Ugh.

I imagine one day I'll snap and it will be ugly.

@sleepyhead: My boss's WIFE does that to me. She suggest stuff that we the company should do, but I'm the only actual employee so she means "You, Blondegrlz, do this ridiculous pointless mindless timeconsuming task!"

Why can't my job just understand that commenting on Jezebel is way more important doing their stupid filing??

::sigh:: Brings back memories of my worst-ever boss. Work-hoarding, micromanaging, bullying, unprofessional, childish, boss. I was so sad, because she was my first lady boss, and men I worked for before her were great. But now I have a fantastic woman boss. Totally redemptive.

I'd like to say that the crazy boss made me stronger, but I'm not sure. It may have made me a better boss, though.

@JessicaLovejoy: Stars & Dykes Forever!: Yeah....speaking of which, how are you doing on those TPS reports?

yes, the passive-agressive bullies who think they are still in high school and act like 'mean girls' are the worst kind of bullies to have in a professional environment.

@rednrowdy: Ugh, I'm on the board of directors of a professional organization with one of those ladies. Drives me up the wall because she used to be an INTERN at my agency, and now she's such hot shit. One day she's totally nice, then next she's whispering all catty-like in a meeting. You'd think I'd be over shit like this, but she makes me feel 2 inches tall.

I consider rampant workplace gossip? I think that is a pretty common form of bullying. "Oh, Mike liked her report, she must be blowing him" blah blah blah..

After years of being told that I was a worthless idiot and to never do a trade on behalf of my boss, his largest client called and wanted to trade some bonds...he was on the phone at the time, so I picked up the phone to find out what the exact trade was, conveyed the information to him, and he proceeded to STAND UP on the trading desk (in front of oh, 150 or so people), mute his phone, and scream "Do the FUCKING trade." Alas, thick skin does not protect from that....I still have nightmares about him, and I quit that place 8 years ago.

I once temped as an assistant to a big-wig female exec. Her normal asst. was going out for surgery and told me she was a bully. Turned out her asst. was incompetent. And the one or two times the exec. gave me a hard time I just turned around and did my job as professionally yet frostily as possible and didn't kiss ass. It seemed to get the point across and she didn't bully me again. Point: you have to set professional boundaries for yourself and most bullies stop bullying once you make it clear you won't take it. I have even confronted people and told them that their tone and language were uncivil and that I didn't like it. Standing up for yourself often works, at least in my experience. Also being friends with coworkers is often a clusterfuck anyway. I see you people all fucking day long, for chrissakes.

I actually had a boss like this - AT SUNY New Paltz.

I am Jack's thankfullness she doesn't work a "job".

Someone off-topic. But I just got out of a pitch to my CEO and it SUCKED. I'm totally deflated. And I need many drinks.

Someone = Somewhat

:-(

@blackbirdfly: I should amend my comment above to say that I truly feel for attorneys and medical residents with bully-bosses, coworkers, or superiors. I have heard from close friends and family members who are lawyers or drs. that those professions have lots of super hard as nails bitch/asshole bullies. Yikes.

@SarahBoBara: So excited! JAM at Michael's for dinner!

The workplace is basically just like high school. I'm a lot better at "high school" now. Most of the workplace bullies I have encountered have lacked intelligence, or else have some other tragic flaw, and that has made them easier to deal with for me.

@esmemurphy: Well, the practice of law does seem to attract its fair share of assholes.

@esmemurphy: I agree- you have to set boundaries with bullies, the very first time they cross the line. I didn't with my boss-from-hell, and while she was still pretty bad to my co-worker who had told her off the first time she bullied him, she was far worse towards me. I think part of that dynamic had to do with her generally treating men differently than the other women she worked with, but part of it was my own lack of confidence to call her out. A good lesson learned, I think, and luckily it came pretty early in my career. Still? Confrontation has never been this WASP-y gal's strength.

@Archetype: Boo! Drinks all around. Your ideas are great and they're all idiots. Or whatever is the appropriate comment at this time!

My boss at my last job was a passive-aggressive, psychotic bully. After weeks of my parents begging me to quit, that they'd support me until I found another job, just so that I wouldn't be so miserable, I finally took them up on the offer.

Best part? I was in HR so I did all my own termination paperwork after she'd gone home on Friday, termed myself in the system, cleaned out my office, and slipped it under her door for her to find on Monday.

@blackbirdfly: Hey! We're not all assholes. Some of us just like having an intellectually challenging job that doesn't pay peanuts. (Or, we majored in English/philosophy/etc and that gets you bupkis jobwise on its own.)

I will concede, however, that the lawyers who ARE assholes are probably worse than garden-variety assholes because lawyers are usually good at arguing and know how to do a lot of serious shit.

My dad and my friend both sent me the NY Times article yesterday with the comment, "Sound familiar?" I had a bullying office so bad it actually sent me into a nervous breakdown and a disability leave. I've just recently been able to stop thinking it was all my fault (screw you crap therapist who did nothing but make it worse), and recognized lots of stuff from the list as things that went on in my office. Biggest problem for me there? My supervisor saw it going on, watched the worst Mean Girl gun for me and piss all over my area of responsibilities, and did nothing but expect me to work it out with her. Taught her she could get away with it, and that I was fair game, and it just got worse and worse. My boss was one of those "don't rock the boat, especially if you're in it" types, and ended up trying to follow through on plans to have me transferred (against my will) even after he and his supervisors had all been told it was against every rule to do so.

As for being left out of office functions not being bullying, hell yes it is. I put in long hours at work and didn't really want to spend downtime with my co-workers, but it's a clear sign they're shunning you when you are the only person in the department not invited to someone's party, and they're all talking about it. The asskisser buying coffee for every assistant in our section but me, every day, I could laugh off. Doesn't mean I wasn't hurt, or that I was clueless on what he meant by it.

@Legalese: Well, I didn't say all lawyers were assholes. I am one, by the way. But I think it is the type of job that attracts people who think they know more than everyone else and therefore act like jerks. I am one of those people sometimes.

@Ms. Pants:
That is so awesome.
I can not wait to quit my job. My boss is contantly harassing me for things that are so trivial, yet does not give any recognition for the work I do. He harasses me about what I wear etc, and doesn't even mention how awesome I do my job. It makes me crazy. He also thinks I am going to work here for my whole life and always makes comments like 'In three years we are going to promote you to this job' and always talks about my future career in oil and gas... etc etc.

Little does he know I am going back to school in the fall (only 6 months away) in another city, for something completely unrelated. I can't wait to see the look on his face!

@esmemurphy: Yeah, I've never in my life had a problem standing up for myself. In fact, I think I'm usually the one described as intimidating, so maybe that's why this hasn't come up before. But when I think about standing up to this beeyartch, all I can picture is her head spinning around like in the Exorcist right before she chokes me to death with her cold bare hands.

I tend to get a little dramatic sometimes.

I was bullied by a former boss. He said awful, belittling things to me, and essentially micro-managed me out of a job. He once lit into me about asking to leave on-time because I wanted to take a class after work. I finally quit because just being in his presence made me nauseous.

@Neon.Wonder: I work in the oil and gas industry too, which company are you with?

My boss: "Everyone else sexually harrasses you, but I'm just plain going to harrass you. One of these days I'm going to kick your ass."

My job is great.

I'd get fired before I allowed myself to be bullied, but:

1. Co-workers regularly invade my personal space to mightily inhale my lunch and I hate them.

2. Co-workers regularly ask if I've changed my hair (like 3-5 x per week and I've changed my hair maybe twice in 9 mos.) and I hate them. Especially when they also take the opportunity to peep my modest tits.

3. Co-workers regularly stand next to my desk and vent even though I've gone from "cool" to "cold" to downright rude (i.e. ignoring them, refusing to acknowledge their presence) in an effort to keep them from doing so. Even bluntly, lifelessly saying things like "I am not interested. I have no desire to listen to this. I do not want to get involved." don't help.

What in the bloody fuck is wrong with people?

@MsPointy: Dammit, too many Rs.

@Skinny Bone Jones: Ugh my desk is in a high traffic area, with lots of dudes who have no idea how to interact with women. Even, nay, especially when I have my eyes trained on my computer, which I moved so that I'd make less accidental eye contact, they feel the need to constantly bug me.
Exact quotes:
"Hey, your hair's in a ponytail today!"
"It's Katie, the farmer's daughter!" (sung)
"Hey, this bug matches your hair! Let me put it on you!"

Blergh.

Also, they put a skiball type basketball right next to me. It's like chinese water torture, but louder.

@esmemurphy: One of my bosses is a radiation oncologist and he is just super to work for. However, there are other docs I know who should not be trusted to tie their own shoes. I hear surgeons are bad, but I have worked peripherally for one and he too was super. Respectful, chatty, shouldn't you be getting home because it's late? You know, crazy talk. But bullies are everywhere.

My first job out of grad school was for a bully who was "running" a small business because his partners were keeping him out of managing anything else. He called people into his office every day to scream at them and pound the table. He thought this was because he really cared about the business and they didn't, and he had a passionate nature, and of course they didn't.

The only upside to this story is that there was not one person in his acquaintance who thought he was the visionary he was sure he was, and that ate him alive.

@Skinny Bone Jones: I'd get fired before I allowed myself to be bullied.

I mean really! Why in heavens name would you tolerate such abuse? I'd rather starve, take the bus, or live in a box than be humiliated is such a manner.