Jezebel
Have you heard? Disney, the very same company that has been selling young girls the myth that if we sit around on your asses long enough, a prince will come and whisk you us off our feet, is now selling young women wedding dresses inspired by the various Disney princesses: Ariel from The Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Jasmine from Aladdin. The new Disney Bridal collection, now in its second season, rehashes the worst bridal design stereotypes and repackages them into looks that resemble those in the Disney movies we saw as kids... if we squint our eyes real hard, that is. After the jump, behold the latest collection by Disney Bridal designer Kirstie Kelly for grown women who want to dress like animated drawings.
Verdict: Mermaid tails. How, um, literal.
Verdict: Has Kirstie Kelly woman ever seen Beauty and the Beast? No bookish geek girl worth her library would be seen within spitting distance of this much tulle underlay.
Verdict: Oh come on: Would it have killed her to do at least one of those in that Cinderella blue? Think outside the box, ladies. And by that we mean, translate your cartoon idols as literally as possible.
Verdict: Because in Arabia, they accentuate their hips?
Verdict: Notice how all these styles have sleeves of some sorts. After all that time sleeping, we guess Beauty wasn't afraid to play it coy at the altar.
Verdict: Is it weird that the oldest cartoon yielded one of the more modern looking dresses? I mean, at least that middle one isn't a princess dress.
Comments
I actually really like the first Sleeping Beauty dress.
Those look like every other wedding dress layout in Brides magazine, with the name of a Disney character at the bottom. I really don't get it. Where's the Pocohantas fringe I've been dreaming of marrying in since I was 5?
Damn, I was hoping for some sparkly shell pasties in the Ariel collection. That's what I want to wear to my Disney wedding.
Some of those aren't so bad. And, come on, there is a wicked fun in ridiculing hideous wedding dresses.
As if there wasn't enough wrong with the world.
This is so tacky and hilarious. Some of the dresses are fine, I am sure. But, seriously?
I like the middle cinderella dress. Do want.
As a bookish geek girl who loves frills and such, I respectfully disagree with your take on Belle. I love poofy, full skirts (though actually I hate wedding dresses).
plus her yellow dress is kinda poofy, no?
None of these remind me of Disney. And I'm all about some Disney princesses.
But, I doubt I'm getting married, and if I am I'm not wearing a traditional gown, so I am simply apathetic.
I'm so disappointed with these dresses! I was hoping for COSTUMES. I wanted Disney to be selling theme-weddings, with funny aprons and hats and big flouncy skirt. These are just insipid, inoffensive white dresses. Snoozers!
I will not be wearing one of these dresses to my wedding. Just saying.
@LoveNoelG: Heh. I would love to wear one of the The Little Mermaid dresses and then forced everyone to call me Ariel for the day.
sweet fancy moses, save us!
Wait didn't you cover this awhile back? Why does this seem so familiar?
Is it only a Princess-inspired line because they say it is?
None of those look anything like princessy, but everything like every other design available in Bride magazine today.
le sigh. i'm getting married in red, next to a river, and there's going to be karaoke and a keg. none of this princess shit, because i don't plan on being eight when i get married.
They should have done a Sleeping Beauty one that is half pink, half blue.
Hmm...I don't think the dresses look significantly different from what you'd see in any bridal catalogue. Some of them are actually quite nice, methinks.
But the Disney Princess-wedding thing makes me want to puke sequins and seed pearls. For realz. If there are bridesmaids dresses I'll probably retch up a rhinestone tiara too.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: When I think of getting married (which is almost never), the only things of interest for me are 1) the dress and 2) the honeymoon.
I've always wanted that Rodriquez dress that Caroline B wore when she married JFK Jr.
I guess I do have some estrogen in me!
This is just weird. There seems to be no correlation between the original princess's dress and the designs she "inspired."
I would have like to see some seashell bras and harem-looking pants!
Can Eeyore be the ring-bearer? Do they have a doggy-costume for THAT?
(wait, they likely do. feck)
Sad. I was hoping for a train of small mammals.
@Archetype: forced = force
Monday....
@Archetype: And your bridesmaids would only be allowed to sing to you. No talking allowed on my special day!
It's not that outlandish, given that Marion Cotillard wore a Little Mermaid gown to the Oscars.
@SkipToMyLou: You could make your bridesmaids dress as the ugly stepsisters!
[www.ultimatedisney.com]
I like the Ariel dresses. Must be because I'm a red head. ;)
@Archetype: Ironically, I'm more concerned about what my hypothetical bridesmaids dresses will look like instead of my own dress. Because I'd be happiest barefoot in a white sundress, even for a church wedding (my sis got married barefoot, but only because she threw a bitch fit in the narthex .2 seconds before walking down the aisle about how much she newly hated her wedding shoes).
The dresses are pretty, if you're into the whole white wedding dress thing. The underlying idea is TERRIFYING.
On one hand, this isn't much different than the people who have Renaissance weddings, - they're just having fun in their own geeky way... On the other hand the whole princess idea just makes me shudder. Why, why, why? (Full disclosure: as a child, I always empathized with the proactive heroes/heroines in fairy tales, not the princesses needing to be rescued.)
What a disappointment. It seems like if someone is so into Disney princesses they want a dress like that for their bridal gown, they would want to go all out. Such as.
@sarah.of.a.lesser.god: I just watched that movie yesterday (in the bath - I LOVE my new laptop!!). The movie was okay. She was phenomenal.
I totally dig that middle Snow White dress.
Cinderella has a serious attitude problem.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I am loving some of the J Crew wedding dresses, actually.
I'd love to be wearing the far right one for Princess Jasmine....
Of course I'd be to pale....
I've looked at these more closely. I don't like any of them. They look uncomfortable.
@DorothyZbornak: RIGHT?! I want purple shell covered boobies!
...
In Arabian weddings, white is the last color you'd see. At least, when my sister had her Moslem wedding. There was a lot of red.
All of these are just regular wedding dresses. wtf.
well I guess I have bad wedding dress taste cause I looked at these and thought, pretty! Should I be embarrassed? Is there such a thing a "good" wedding dress? Aren't they all pretty terrible? Could I ask anymore questions? Regardless I never had the big fancy wedding dream. I have every intention of eloping and nothing will stray me from that course.
I'm getting married in July, that being said I've seen quite a few dresses now. Many of those are so much better then things I've tried on at bridal stores/boutiques.
If I saw any of those dresses hanging on a rack I wouldn't think Disney on any of them. I guess their should be some congrats to Disney, normally the stick their name or an image everywhere on their stuff.
I'm glad to see that they're nodding to the non-Disney version of Sleeping Beauty, (in which S.B is actually raped in her sleep by the prince and wakes up when she GIVES BIRTH) by providing what appears to be a maternity frock. This whole day is giving me nightmares.
Actually, disappointingly, these weren't as bad as I thought they'd be. And I too was hoping for something A LOT more costumey! Boo.
@Archetype: I didn't know J Crew had wedding dresses! I'd only seen the bridesmaid dresses (and I'd totes let my girls wear regular J. Crew dresses- they're always adorable). I <3 J. Crew. I think I would like these dresses you speak of.
So, where's the squirrels and birds and shit? They need like, crazy ribbons and bright colors and poofs and and kinds of nonsense to be really PRINCESSY! Get with the program Disney!
And what about Pocahontas? DDD:
(Out of all the Disney movies, that one was my favorite.)
@Archetype: I still need to see it. Thank God for netflix!
If I was going to wear something as embarrassing as a "Disney Princess Wedding Dress" I'd want it to be more of a replica of the pretty cartoon dresses and less an "interpretation" done ugly style.
Grown women book their weddings at Disney World and their honeymoons on the Disney cruise ship. So why wouldn't Disney want to milk & bilk Princess Cash Cow if she's willing to pay 10 times what one of these cheesy garments will cost to make?