Jezebel
Over on Salon, Carol Lloyd is pondering the pairing of women with older men, specifically, a recent study in Sweden which found that when women are 4 to 6 years younger than their male partners, they give birth to more kids. Martin Fieder, an anthropologist at the University of Vienna, speculates that men evolved a preference for younger women because those women have a longer fertility span. Meanwhile, women might give birth to more children when they choose older partners because those guys are more likely to have greater financial resources. But, says Lloyd: "I've always cast a jaundiced eye on our cultural assumptions that men should be older (not to mention taller) than their wives. It seemed just another manifestation of the gender imbalances that coursed through our workplaces, government and educational system. Of course, when in love, all bets are off." (Lloyd married a man 11 years older.)
Biology and social constructs might explain being attracted to older men, but what explains liking younger guys?
Don't call Dateline NBC. I'm no Mary-Kay LeTourneau. But younger guys get me hot and bothered. Often they have better style, more enthusiasm, a joie de vivre and a straight-up cuteness that can't be denied. Which is not to say that older men don't have appeal. But younger guys just seem so fun. This predilection was definitely exacerbated by working at a teen magazine, where the actors, singers and boys in bands I interviewed were creative, funny, heartthrob-types whose ages hovered around the upper teens and early twenties. A few years ago I dated a guy who was five years younger and he thought I was so smart, so well-traveled, so accomplished, so together. It was an ego boost! (Then I realized he was an unemployed homeless couchsurfer and therefore easily impressed. But he was hot!) And I know I'm not alone. Our own Tracie "Slut Machine" Egan says, "I've always liked guys in their early 20s. When I was in high school I liked guys that age, and I still do. But now it's more about the fact that they can reboot quickly and they like to have morning sex." So while some ladies swoon over George Clooney, Tracie and I will be ogling young'uns like Shia, Emile, Michael, Channing, TI and Bow Wow. Is that so wrong?
Are Women Biologically Drawn To Older Men? [Salon]
Men With Younger Women Have More Children [New Scientist]
Comments
And yet people get all upset when I pant after my students...
Yeah, it's probably the whole "they can get it up and up and up and up" thing.
You're preaching to the choir over here, Dodai ;)
Yes, but does Lucky find younger men sexy? It wasn't listed in the article...
I wish I could say the same, but my experience with younger boys is that they become love-struck far too easily. They're just too.....sweet for me, I guess.
But, I fully support women dating younger men!!
i never liked younger men when i was their peer, but i find myself much more forgiving now that i don't actually need them to call me in the morning. they can be adorable! but can't make conversation to save their lives until at least 24.
after i got divorced, i dated two adorable 20somethings. they were, to paraphrase jane austen, "the finest balm for the pangs of despised love". lotsa sex, lotsa fun. however, i have an "age-appropriate" one now and i have to say, it's nice to date someone who doesn't think paul mccartney's first band was wings. (i keeeed, but only just)
Older men - more settled, worldly-wise, perhaps a touch more of the romantic.
Younger men - wilder, more willing to risk, greater desire and passion.
Just my 2 cents.
I dated a 21-year-old when I was 29. It was a huge ego-booster.
I don't want to date someone younger than me. At least not right now. I'm 23 and I don't care for kids just out of high school. When I'm 40? I might feel different but as of now, do. not. want.
Um, yes, crushing on "Lil" Bow Wow is wrong.
Anyway, people say guys go for younger women because they're afraid of getting old and, you know, dying, but who's to say that women don't have the same mid-life fears that men do? (Not that that explains all crushes.)
I usually date (much) older men, but I've been jonesing for a certain 20 year old for a while now. Yes, it's only 2 years, but I've NEVER dated younger.
I'm with you Dodai. My last wasband/father of my child is 20 yr.s younger and of course now I wonder what madness was THAT. Mostly I have always been with younger ones, 4 yr.s, 6, 8 yrs younger seem to fit me. Plus, I have noticed that younger men respect women naturally when men my age always want a pat on the back for doing so. Plus, as you say, the sex.....
nope, older men for me all around.
Yeah. I'm 27. I have no desire to date anyone younger. I was forced to go to the mall last weekend and the smell of Axe body spray hung in the air and made me sick to my stomach.
I favor the older guys. And by older I mean like 28. We'll see what happens when I'm older.
I have a problem where I am like actually attracted to high school aged guys. Like Bill on Freaks and Geeks. I feel criminal. But then I guess a lot of people are attracted to young girls too, you just can't act on it. Right? RIGHT?
Is it weird that when I saw the name "Michael" I thought of Michael Cera?
@frozenblueberries: I should add that he went AWOL on my 30th birthday. Heh.
No way dude. I want a husband and a family. Younger guys suck at that.
But I also prefer to be the less experienced one in a relationship. Typical submissive.
I do not heart younger guys. I think the males do mature more slowly than the females. To make matters worse, I've always been rather precocious. So I pretty much have to date an older guy to have intelligent convos. My bf is 5.5 years older than me. I have dated MUCH older guys, but then the age gap was too big and it was weird. I like the 4 to 6 year thing. That said, each relationship is unique and love isn't known to follow rules.
I've hooked up with women that were at least 20 years older than me. It's a lot of fun. Seriously.
Younger men stay firm longer and get hard more easily. They might not last as long, but the ride's worth it. THE END.
@janna: such as
@J.D.Regent: Yeah, but don't they usually send those guys to jail?
@J.D.Regent: Right.
When I was a teenager my dad confessed that he had checked me out when he drove past me walking down the street (obviously he didn't know it was me).
I thought it was funny, still do. I tease him about it all the time.
ok, i'm only 26, but every guy i've dated has always been younger than me by a few years (there were some older guys - mistakes, all). it was never my intention but that's just how it turned out. my mom calls me a Puma, because i'm too young to be a cougar ;)
I like younger men in theory. Shia is adorable, and most of my Yankee boyfriends are younger than I am. But I've dated two younger men. Both cheated. End of story.
Oh yea I love the younger dudes. Although they clearly had more charm when I entered that whole "hold on you want my number....why?" phase of my life.
My bf is younger only by a year but I still feel like that helped our relationship. He respects me more than most older guys I've dated.
I dated a dude 3 years younger than me, only because he lied to me about his age. I found out from his sister a few months into the relationship and I was not amused. He said that as soon as he met me he got the vibe that I wouldn't give him a chance if I knew his age, so he asked me my age first and pretended to be the same age. He was emotionally immature, but I'll never say never.
@ghanima: so you're saying i shouldn't have pressed submit comment on that one, eh?
However, Paul Newman still gets me all hot and bothered. Anyone? Anyone?
I love the older guy I'm with. He's so chill and he's got perspective. The age gap isn't a problem for us; we only notice it when others point it out.
I'm a college student, so I'm around younger dudes all day long, four days out of the week. While they are certainly cute, I really don't find myself all that attracted to them. They seem more like puppy dogs to me than possible sex partners. Really, I find myself digging the professors a lot more than the students. I don't know if it's because the BF changed my perspective on men or because I'm about to round the Big 3-0 or what.
I've tended to stay in the one year younger to 3 years older range...something about being in roughly same place in life. The one exception was the 37 year old to my 23...which ended when I realized he was way less mature than I was. I think it just depends on the person.
mines 10 yrs older .. i worry about having kids with him and the fact that he'd be an "old dad"
@andBegorrah: Paul Newman is now and forever sex on a stick.
@andBegorrah: Indeed.
@J.D.Regent: Totally. I mean, they are cute to look at, but I would probably never have dated a younger guy (even the legal ones I mean).
I'm 28. I just went from dating a 23-year-old to dating a 42-year-old.
23-year-old: amazing sex, stupid immature games, afraid to make a commitment, dumb as a box of fuckin' rocks, could not pay the tab. ever.
42-year-old: good sex, no games, smart and accomplished, easy to please because just the fact that i'm 14 years younger makes him hot, takes me out to fancy dinners and won't ever let me pay.
i'm totes done with the younger men. older men are where it's at. younger men are good only for sex.
@janna: no, b/c that's what i was hoping for as well. watching his "sex scene" in superbad was excruciating for me!
Y'all should go see "Paranoid Park" this weekend. Lots of long shots of beautiful sk8ter boyz. I sometimes still sit and watch high school boys skate in union square and crush on their attitudes and rosy cheeks.
@whynotshesaid: I can relate to that. I was in the Napa once with some family members (all female) and I noticed this older (much older, like 60) man reading and drinking wine at a table by himself. I was completely taken with him. So much so that I still remember him perfectly. Our waiter was a young, very attractive, guy in his mid-twenties and when I pointed out the older guy to my mom and aunt, they were completely baffled that I was not attracted to our "hot" waiter. I was probably 25 or so.
I like girls who look like teenage boys. Where does that fit in?
@J.D.Regent: Just keep repeating: look don't touch, look don't touch. That'll keep the feds off your back. If not there's always the Catholic Church. (Rimshot!)
Before I found my current love, I went through a string of hook ups with both older and younger dudes and I must say that the younger dudes were just always so much easier to deal with. The 30-year-olds I saw were emotionally childish and definitely not 'worldly.' But the younger guys were more fun and reasonable and understanding in general. Including the kid I did on his 21st birthday - best.hookup.ever.
anybody hear that little formula 1/2 your age + 7? That's how old a younger partner should be. Conversely, 2(Age - 7) for an older partner.
@J.D.Regent: How about that cute CJ from the other day? There is something very appealing about that age group, but best to wait until they are legal. But then, what if they SAY they're legal and they have their brother's id or some crap? Not that I know anything about it.
@J.D.Regent: PERV! I'm reporting you!
Younger, older, I like 'em all! Granted, it's only recently that I've been willing to dip into early 20's again. But feel free to send Emile this way, I'll take good care of him. Promise.
Testing?
Last year I dated a hot boy seven years younger than me, and was really bothered by it at first. Now it's like a dam burst, and I feel flustered by young nubile man flesh constantly. All the more fantasy fodder, I say. Like the nommable Tim Riggins.
I don't think anything under a 5 year age difference should be considered a "real" age difference in a relationship once both parties are, say, 22+. And society agrees with me when it's women dating men who are 3 or 4 years older. But NOT for men dating women.
Mr. Butterworth is 4 years younger, and people are always, always, ALWAYS commenting on it. 4 years! That's nothing. It's unfortunate, and when you think about it, kind of bizarre. I never felt compelled to hedge about my age until I crossed the threshold of my thirties and he was still hanging out in his late twenties and people couldn't get over it. But a woman dating a guy who was 4 years older? They're viewed as being the same age, basically.
It's irritating.
@J.D.Regent: How about that cute CJ from the other day? There is something very appealing about that age group, but best to wait until they are legal. But then, what if they SAY they're legal and they have their brother's id or some crap? Not that I know anything about it.
I also love silvery grey hair on men, Jim Jarmusch much?
how about an immature older guy? my BF is 6.5 years older than me, and we're pretty much on the same level.
I have no interest in younger guys at all. But I have a crush on Michael Cera.
No way. Younger guys are fun and cute for a little while, but then you get sick of going over to their frat house apartment and putting up with their temper tantrums. Plus, you don't have to show older men what to do in bed. Experience is where it's at.
I am 23 years old. I HATE dating guys my age. (Usually because they are self-centered players with no respect for women. *NOT all guys; just the ones I date, apparently.)
However, I do miss the great sex I had with guys in the 16-20 years-old bracket (when I was that age, too, obvs).
@Archetype: I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this way. (That dude sounds sexy, by the way.) I'm not really sure what happened, I just woke up one day and was all about the older dudes. I think it confuses my friends. It certainly confuses the guys I know, as I'm a young-looking (and very attractive, I've been told) woman. Ah well, the heart wants what the heart wants.
I can't believe I just quoted a known pedophile.
Really? Because there's a 30-something I know who 1. reboots quickly & 2. Likes it in the morning. Is that odd? (Also: please disregard this Lady...)
I'd much rather be handing out Viagra than Ridalin.