Jezebel
Oh, Bindi Irwin! Is there anything the 9-year-old Crocodile Hunter spawn cannot do? You've seen her talk to animals; you've seen her rap. Now Bindi's attacking the fashion world! Her new children's clothing line, Bindi Wear, made its runway debut yesterday in Sydney. Bindi, left, and other kiddies modeled designs and the results were hilarious. Bindi-fanatic Slut Machine and I get catty discussing The Jungle Girl's fashions. Fierce? Ferosh? Or just frightening? Find out, after the jump.
Jen: These two just can't wait to go wrangle something long and slithery together.
Tracie: Clearly the one on the right has taken a lot more care to perfect his signature walk.
Jen: This "Wildlife Warrior" t-shirt is going to take on a whole other meaning when this kid hits puberty.
Tracie: I would suggest that this kid actually model in some real womenswear fashion shows, but his tits are too big.
Jen: Shouldn't it be "Just Say No"?
Tracie: I don't care what her shirt says. She's obviously asking for it with that short skirt.
Jen: If only the real Diana Ross cared for the animals.
Tracie: Do you think that this little girl has any idea that her presence on this stage was made possible by a series of events that began with a man being stabbed in the heart by a stingray?
Jen: Their faces scream, "They told us there would be candy if only we would walk out here." Obviously, they were lied to.
Tracie: Damn. Just goes to show you that no matter how you dress it down, you can't turn a bitch butch.
Jen: If Bindi's career in fashion design doesn't work out, there's always stripping!
Tracie: I'm being completely sincere when I say that I must have that shirt.
Jen: Don't you need a little more coverage than a short skirt if you're going to be wrestling crocs?
Tracie: Ew. Look at the pervs on the left trying to catch some up-skirt action.
Jen: Wearing stripes, also pissed about the whole candy thing.
Tracie: Gangsta.
Jen: This child's name is not Bindi.
Tracie: Is that a knuckle ring? Even more gangsta.
Jen: Hello, playas.
Tracie: Gaysta.
Jen: Do you really have to match your outfit to the shrubbery? Really?
Tracie: This is not America's Next Top Friend!
Jen: Plaid capris and a snake totally clash.
Tracie: OMG, I would not let that thing near me. Terri, I mean.
Jen: Is no one else concerned that that baby is being chased?
Tracie: She needs some weave tracks for thickness.
[Images via Getty.]
Bindi Irwin Racks Up Gear With A Message [News.com.au]
Comments
What a weird lookin kid. Yeah, I'm mean. Kill me.
God, I wish she'd cut the shit and get back to rapping. Know yourself, girl.
Dear Terri Irwin:
Please stop Dina Lohan-ing your daughter. Let her be a child. And quit acting like you have sand in your vadge all the time. Kthanxbai.
xoxo
Trashtastic
Aw, they're kids! Cut them some slack.
?
Dear Terri Irwin"
Please stop Dina Lohan-ing your daughter. Let her be a child. And quit acting like you have sand in your vadge all the time. Kthanxbai.
xoxo
Trashtastic
Terri Irwin, you suck so hard in so many ways.
The fucking dyke mommy mafia is on your ass like flies on shit. Sleep with one eye open.
XOXO
Does her mom own anything other than khaki's?
is. There's no denying it. BTW, what do these stars mean????
"This is not America's Next Top Friend!" LMAO!!!
I just scrolled past that whole photo gallery, because it's going to give me hives.
Poor Bindi Irwin never had a chance. Can't a girl just love dophins and kittens and salamanders and stuff by buying a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper and wearing charm bracelets? Now she has to have an actual fashion show??
I say bless this mess. I'm just stoked that she's not Lauren Conradding us. Let the kids be kids!
You guys, I really like that green kangaroo shirt.
I do not like, however, the looming "Bindi is going to be a mess when she is 17" cloud that is threatening to rain all over this sassy safari parade.
@scrumtrulescent: Niiice X-zibit/Pimp My Ride shout-out.
Wow. Gaysta made my day. Seriously, who bleaches out their five-year-old's hair? Oh, that crazy modeling world! Loved the sting-ray comment - hilarious.
Does Bindi go to school?
You've seen her talk to animals; you've seen her rap
You've stabbed your eyes out with a spork! You've ripped your own ears off with a rusty pairing knife and packed the canals with gauze!
@Trashtastic IS the new Setouchi: IF YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT THEM, THEY WILL TAKE THEM AWAY!!
I'd take Bindi Wear of Mary-Kate and Ashley shit, even though their the original fraggle rock puppets. I think some of the stuff is cute and if it will help the Irwin Empire, sans crocodile hunter, I say bring it on. Terri's line will consist solely of khakis and button down shirts.
I am not a fan of ANY designer who plasters their name on the clothes like advertisements. Not even a cute children's line. The little girl in the last picture, however, is precious.
Dear Trashtastic:
Stop double posting like an over-eager commentwhore. Thanks!
smoochies!
Yourself
Well alright, the ready-to-wear is pretty nice. But I can't wait for the couture stuff.
The Croc Hunter taught her/ and now his only daughter/ is Bindi the Jungle Girl!
I can't help it, I love the whole fucking family. I wish they would adopt me, rescue me from this dull office life, and take me away so we could all chase and love crocs together!
Crikey!
To quoth my favorite movie ever:
In regards to the short skirts, "If you can't wrestle crocodiles in this, you can't wrestle crocodiles with us."
A: (A League of their Own)
I... well... what was the point of this again? Her dad dies and now she's into fashion and saving wildlife? On cable? I'm pretty sure that most of the kids in these pics didn't really care what they were wearing -- they just wanted to go out and wrestle in the grass or chase living critters. I sense sell-out here...
@JessicaLovejoy: Backstairsly: LOL I know. I'm waiting for them to realize their mistake. *sshhhh*
Seeing that lady chase after the baby creeped me the fuck out.
Wait, the girl in the nude dress is NINE? What the fuck, she looks older then me!
Anyway the stuff is pretty cute. That striped blue hoodie made me hungry. I want.
@myrtlebeachbum: Yeah, what she said, Terri Irwin!
Bindi is a fierce tickety-tack tranny and she is not apologizing for it!!!
Ohhh - what is the baby-chaser wearing? I want THAT!
@Trashtastic IS the new Setouchi: I don't know, but I think they're gonna strip it from you for that double post.
I kid because I love.
This will be an example relayed in the psychiatrist's office down the line, a la "Why couldn't we just grieve in PRIVATE?!?!"
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: Yeah, she's weird looking. But it will probably bode well for her later on. I feel like the most beautiful adults maybe weren't always the most beautiful children, and vice versa. Weird, but (I think) true.
@hortense: Well, you have to admit that given her father's untimely demise and propensity for leaping onto animals that could kill him, this detour into fashion seems... odd. Mind you, now that I think of it, I'd rather she was doing fashion shows and not following quite so closely in her daddy's boot prints.
What I want most is the enormous stuffed snake. Awesome.
At least someone advised her not to crimp her hair.
Also, can this even really be a LINE of clothing? I mean, it's mostly graphic tees and hoodies. Not really worthy of a freakin' runway show.
I hope these clothes are in toddler sizes. I totally want the pink camo outfit for my 3-year old niece. She's been asking for a pink camouflage skirt (seriously) and she'll really love the matching boots and hat.
I'm sorry her dad died because it's sad and unfortunate, but more importantly because he appears to have been the responsible parent in that duo.
Didn't he dangle her in front of crocodiles?
@westvillagegirl: Spoken like a typical star owner... unwilling to share with others... play nice now.
oh jesus:
Tracie: Do you think that this little girl has any idea that her presence on this stage was made possible by a series of events that began with a man being stabbed in the heart by a stingray?
i should not have laughed at that. Bad Jewess.
@Jessi Ramsey lost Squirt.: How can she go to school? She's busy working. Do these mothers never learn? The kids do NOT want to do it as you always claim. They will hate you for this.
@Erinjb: Yes. Yes, he did.
@BrutallyHonestBabes: Uh, not stuffed. Real. Real snake, like Britney Spears.
To be sold exclusively at the Rainforest Cafe. (Does the Rainforest Cafe still exist?)
@westvillagegirl: Nope, just send me to the timeout chair. Without Cadbury Mini Eggs
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: You took the words out of my mouth.
...But if anyone asks YOU'RE the mean one/bad influence and I'm a sheep lured into mocking a 9 year-old w/ a dead dad.
Celebrity look-alike of the week: Bindi Irwin and Sarah "Clooney's Girlfriend" Larson.