For a lot of us, masturbating is like eating: It’s something we need to do to survive, and we’ve evolved beyond using our hands. (Or maybe it’s just that some of us are so lazy that we’ve come to rely on technological advances to do it.) So when I packed to go on an 8-day vacation last week, I surveyed my vibe collection to see which would be the most travel-friendly for a trip with a large group of people sharing bedrooms in an open, airy beach house. In the end, I decided against packing any of them, because I knew they were all too loud or large to not draw attention. But by day 6 of my trip I was going out of my mind, and I decided I needed to be a little more self-reliant in self-pleasuring. I began compiling a mental list of items found in a typical household that aren’t intended to help one masturbate (and that aren’t “personal massagers”), but still help out with the task, and then went about testing each one. My results, after the jump.
1.) Electric Toothbrush The first time I ever turned on my electric toothbrush I had an almost Pavlovian response to that familiar buzzing sound, and my vagina began to drool, but I’d never bothered to try it out... until the other day. I removed the bristle head, and placed the vibrating metal stem onto my outer lips (I was too scared to put it right on my clit, since it looked like it could be a little sharp). The problem with this is that without the head on the toothbrush, the stem is way too thin to really do anything substantial. Of course, some sex toy shops sell attachments designed specifically for such an occasion, but not all of us have the foresight to do something like that. Necessity is the mother of invention, so I grabbed some toilet paper and rapped it around the stem to form sufficient padding, and that did the trick. Sure it didn’t hold a candle to my Magic Wand, but it lit me up anyway.