Jezebel Presents: THE SEVEN DUDELY SINSMoe3/17/08 3:30pmFiled to: for all womankindcrapATopdude'EmailFromseven dudely sins1272EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkThe Vatican has been so busy lately — condemning the war in Iraq, changing the date of St. Patrick's Day, bankrolling Anne Hathaway's boyfriend in hopes he will help them pay their mountainous legal fees — that you might have missed it last week when they put out a new list of Seven Sins. Well, they were zeitgeisty! But since I'm sure very few of you are really making wayyyy too much money or laying waste to the environment or conducting research on stem cells, I didn't know how relevant they would be to Jezebel. Which is why we decided to rewrite the list to better address our favorite topic du jour: Eliot Spitzer. And, you know, boys. Herewith, our Seven Dudely Sins.Entitlement Really. We're in a "relationship" now? Isn't that a little presumptuous? You know I'm just "settling" on my current husband...how exactly? Are you aware of the world outside your own cocoon of baffling self-assurance? You sent that eleventh text message without reply because you're so very certain I will finally succumb to your charms...based on what? You're unattractive, unemployed and uncharming and yet you tell everyone I'm your type because...women like me have managed to see virtue in you in the past? Why must you assume I am desperate? And why must you assume that I fucked you before, therefore I will fuck you now? Why must you assume that I ever really wanted to fuck you to begin with? That you weren't just a pity fuck in the first place? Did I even attempt to fake an orgasm? Were you even paying attention? Wait, hold on a second, I don't get mad often, so when I fucking get mad, will you fucking look at me when I'm talking to you? Oh my God, are you checking that girl out? Seriously? Which brings me to...ShareTweet Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service.