Memo To Hillary: Here's How To Dress For Success

The Guardian's scrappy fashion writer, Hadley Freeman, is fielding questions from readers today, one of whom asks: "Why does Hillary Clinton wear such bad clothes? With a budget that big, surely she can afford a stylist? And does it matter?" In response, Freeman argues that it's really hard to be Senator Clinton since the Christian right is trying to nail her for being a demonic, sexualized, dictatorial vagina and, compared to stylish opponent Barack Obama, "Clinton has to hide herself in garishly coloured squares going under the name of 'jackets', or else risk being dismissed as so vain that she would be too busy putting on her lipstick to respond to an international terror threat." Freeman, however, has issues with Clinton's now-ubiquitous yellow pantsuits, arguing that the Senator "is doing what she thinks she should as opposed to having a splinter of courage and being true to herself. Which kinda makes you wonder what sort of leader she would be." Agree? Disagree? Regardless, I decided to offer Senator Clinton a tutorial on some of the major American designers with some suggestions for what to wear on the campaign trail.

Does it get more all-American than Ralph Lauren? I think not. So why doesn't Senator Clinton take a page out of the Ellen DeGeneres handbook and go for some men's tailored pieces? That should erase any doubts about answering that damn phone at three in the morning. And yet, it's important for Hillary to prove she's not too square: Which is why she needs the rebel of American fashion, Marc Jacobs, who also happens to be a vocal Hillary supporter. And who, conveniently enough, designed his fall collection around the idea of Paul Revere. Viva la revolution, Hills. Oh hell, why not just give in and forget the menswear-inspired womenswear and wear menswear itself? Can't you see this Michael Kors look on Nantucket? No? Not so much? Well, this Oscar de la Renta ensemble is perfect for both a beach weekend, and a ladies' luncheon on the campaign trail. Casual is accessible. Yellow pantsuits are not. And if H-Rod does ever feel like wearing a skirt for a change, this Peter Som look is feminine and strong and not, y'know, menstrual. What commander-in-chief doesn't have a leather frock coat? Thanks, Derek Lam. And if she does win, I say she should wear this Carolina Herrera to the inaugural ball. It screams 'I'm ready on Day One!'.

[Images via AP.]

Earlier: Future First Ladies Should Be Judged Solely On Fashion

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