Jezebel
It's Spring Break in America, and you know what that means... Millions of college students are getting wasted. And, more often than not, this is the time that young women go from concentrating on history or communications to studying Sex Appeal 101. LA Times columnist Megham Daum went to Cancun a few years ago, to research an article; she writes: "The raunchy contests and general debauchery were something that these women had prepared for, almost as though for a final exam. They'd logged hours at the gym, in tanning booths and at body wax salons. They'd save up money for breast implants and then timed the surgery so they'd be healed by spring break." The interesting thing is that the women claimed to be doing it for their self-esteem.
"One word I heard again and again, oddly, was 'confidence,'" writes Daum."'If I can be considered hot here, I'll be hot anywhere,' a rather morose woman sitting on a bar stool in a bikini and high heels told me. 'I'm here to get confident.'"
As they psyched themselves up for wet T-shirt contests or debated whether a given guy was worth flirting with, a lot of women told me that they saw spring break as the proving ground for their attractiveness.Here's where things get tricky. Is a woman who participates in the drunken hook-ups, wet T-shirt contests, body shots and other Spring Break events just celebrating being young, free and proud of her body? Or is she tragically falling victim to the age-old standard, that of a woman's worth being directly tied to her appearance?
Confidence has become an easy catchall-excuse for everything from dyeing hair blonde to nose jobs and breast implants. We're living in a world with so much pop psychology and issues related to self esteem that it's almost as if, as long as you feel better, whatever you're doing to get there is okay! But what of confidence gained through intelligence, talent, skill or bravery? Isn't there intense pride in working with what you've got (small nose, obesity gene, flat chest, mousy brown hair)?
And, seeing as how most of these women are working with liquid courage, aka alcohol: What's the difference between being "confident" on Spring Break and being plain-old drunk and promiscuous?
Raunch Is Rebranded As 'Confidence' [LA Times]
Comments
Damn kids, get off my lawn!
And they totally got those breast implants to feel more empowered.
Well, I know my lifes goal has been to get as many men as possible to want to do me... And I'll do whatever it takes.
While I don't (and I really, truly don't) make a moral or ethical judgment on women who choose to do these kinds of things, the ones I've known who have reveled in this behavior have usually had extremely low self-esteem.
I think it's sad that playing into the stereotype that women have to be conventionally attractive to be worth anything has become the same thing as being an independent, liberated woman, as far as a lot of women my age are concerned. And this is further evidence of that.
In this situation, there is little difference. Or maybe none. I wonder what I can do to be more confident?
If your confidence is only obtained through male attention, well then it's time to get some (new) hobbies.
@katekate: That's not to say that ALL women who enjoy this kinda stuff have low self-esteem. Just the ones I have known, is all.
this is why my spring breaks were either spent in town getting fucked up with the locals or in a european country getting fucked up with the locals.
I had mono during my "wild and crazy" spring break trip to the Caribbean. The entire island is lucky I was asleep at 11 p.m. rather than out looking to build "confidence" -- I could've caused an epidemic.
I don't think this is really about enhancing "self-esteem." I think these college women see everyone else doing it, so it becomes accepted and expected. It's just viewed as the norm. I don't think most of these young women have actually thought through the reasoning behind or possible ramifications of their actions.
As cruel and crime against womanity as it may be, i have nothing but contempt for these kinds of women.
It doesn't matter what we think of it. It won't stop them from doing it, or for thinking that women who disapprove of the behavior only disapprove because it isn't a way that they could get attention or approval. That's a particularly adolescent way to think, and the only kicker is that then they want sympathy and support and outrage when something bad happens. Otherwise, I'd just say, the hell with them; I'm doing just fine.
its strange that in order for these girls to feel special, they want to look like everyone else. er, everyone else that fits these prescribed body types, that is.
I grew up 45 miles or so from Lake Havasu (which happened to be the cloest movie theatre when I was in high school, and it's still the closest place to go to Wal*Mart or bowling and of course In 'n Out!). I remember when MTV first came. It gets NUTS. I hide. My family hides. Spring break SUCKS for locals.
People think that, because they are on a boat, it's a-ok for them to get drunk and drive the boat. UGH I hate stupid people. What do you think happens when your body hits a propeller?!
Sigh, I wish this had been about actual carnivals. I love carnivals! As I never have, and never will be one of these girls, and these girls don't want to listen to any sane advice I say, let them go to the islands and let the rest of us enjoy a few rare moments without them.
This just makes me glad that my spring breaks were all spent training with my crew team, and showering every day was considered a big victory.
yeah it's real hard out there for girls like me with small noses. Everyone is all like 'Damn girl youz got button-nose!' And I'm like SHUT UP I can't help that I don't have a huge nose! :(
Anyways, I gotta say that I have NEVER done anything for Spring Break. I mean in high school, I went snowboarding with a friend's family but I couldn't drink or shit like that. But in college, I was one of those folks that still had to WORK during spring break to pay the goddamn bills. As much as I feel above the drunken debauchery....sometimes I still wish I could have experienced a week in which I was actually allowed to call it a 'break.'
Also, where is Helen Mirren when we need her??
@ineffable.me: A-fucking-men.
My ample boobies and I took martial arts for confidence. Oh, we got a degree too - that helped.
I don't think it is surprising that young people, not just women, confuse confidence with being desired sexually. Our society promotes sex to sell everything.
As someone who developed very early, I can tell you ladies that having men "desire" your body does not equal confidence.
Confidence would be the ability to be true to yourself no matter how many other folks were rushing to fit the mold.
So glad I went to Cancun back in December instead of now. SO glad.
@marvel girl: And I'll do whatever it takes.
Um, go outside?
"But what of confidence gained through talent, skill, or bravery?"
Agreed. Which is why this Spring Break, I am sponsoring the world's first Naked Fencing Competition.
There's also a Naked Kickboxing competition, but it's not the first--they did that one in Sweden a couple years ago.
As annoying as they are, I ultimately only feel pity for these sad, sad girls and only hope they grow out of it as they grow up.
Event though I know most won't.
I base my self-worth on the approval of men. Isn't that what every good feminist does?
@crushdmb: I also grew up in a Sping Break destination. My favorite bumper sticker was, "If it's called Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em?" Yes, I also grew up in the South.
I know a GUY who acted like this - tanning booth, working out, getting waxed - so he could look hot for spring break. He ended up drunkenly hooking up with several very questionable women and actually lost his virginity to someone who's name he never learned. He totally regrets the whole thing and never went on another spring break. It's interesting to see it work the other way for once.
I've only ever gone on spring vacation, not Spring Break WOOHOO!
I think this is (mostly) all just a phase. I went through this in college as well, and after I graduated I came to realize life was about more than fake tans and makeup. I think it's all about figuring out who you are and what's important...and that comes a bit later on in life...for most people anyway. The 40 year old women who still do this-thats another story.
I've got your confidence builder right here: spring break=2xday rowing practice.
Cancun's got nuthin on the Tennessee River.
@PinkSoxHat: Hey thats what I did on my spring breaks too! Which college did you row for?
If being tanned and toned fits into their own personal ideas of beauty rather than the idea that's been sold to them, then go for it.
What I don't understand is wasting money, time and effort in order to fit into someone else's idea of what is 'hot' or sexy, how are you getting anything out of that?
Plastic surgery I'm a little unsure of, I know people who've had it and said they've felt so much better about themselves afterwards, but then it's not really solving the big problem of why they felt bad about themselves, how about we get rid of a system where our looks are directly linked to our worth and spend the money the surgery would cost on having a good time?
When I was in college I just tried to impress dudes by quoting lines from "The Big Lebowski" and displaying my drinking prowess and knowledge of craft beers while wearing hoodies (it was cold there). Maybe it was just a different kind of self-pimping though? I don't know, but at least I never had to LOSE a wet t-shirt contest (which I would've), that seems like it would be the ultimate degradation...
@Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka: *high fives you*
i feel sorry for the girl who said "If I can be considered hot here, I'll be hot anywhere.." and that achieving that alone would give her confidence. i also feel sorry for the man she marries and for the kids she may/may not have and the young girls she will mentor. hopefully by then she'll be confident enough to get over herself.
@PinkSoxHat: Jinx! Rowing+Brad Pitt/Bill Clinton screensaver=myrtlebeachbum/pinksoxhat
This makes me feel old and cranky.
I went to art school in the middle of a city, so this kind of spring break was never exactly my thing. I did, however, semi-starve myself into what I thought at the time was NY perfection. It's all about control and combating some kind of perceived powerlessness, and using the word "confidence" to mean those things. I think. Also swallowing whole what the media is feeding us-- what women are supposed to be like. Shudder.
Or maybe I'm just a curmudgeon. The above posting made me all stabby and sad.
I don't really understand the whole "spring break" culture (not to mention a whole lot of the "drink til you're trashed and can't remember anything" culture). How, precisely, does getting wasted and having one's inhibitions lowered translate into "confidence"?
@hugnkiss: That's pretty funny. Did you already have your username before the mono hit?
15 years after the boob job... "Hey buddy, quit staring at my confidence. My eyes are up here."
I think it's the way we teach children about the concept of confidence--it becomes less about feeling good about yourself and your abilities, and more about some sort of bizarro Evil Knieval bravery that comes hand in hand with the whole "no guts, no glory" bullshit that is pounded into kids in elementary school gym class.
That, and we are a nation that confuses attention with affection, arrogance with assertiveness, and strength with stubbornness. We are a mess.
Sigh, my spring breaks were just hang with my 'home' friends and sleeping in. Though, not really sad about it from the looks of this....
Spring break shouldn't be for doing things you will regret in future years...confidence does not mean trading in your self-respect....
Just be careful girls - these guys are arrogant enough to drug your cocktail and not give a shit about the ramifications of their actions. I just graduated from college 2 years ago - college boys cant have changed much since.
god, this is going to make me sound old. which is ok, because i am (42). i am oh so thankful that digital photography and the internet didn't exist the last time i went on spring break, which would have been 1985. no, not because i was drunk or showing off my goodies to everyone, but mostly because the dude i was with was wearing peak-popularity miami vice clothes. oh, the humanity.
@crushdmb: Sorta like SXSW here in Austin or Mardi Gras in New Orleans where I grew up.
You hide. You resent how they take over your city like a infestation of fleas.
(No offense to those that come and are respectful that yes, others actually LIVE in that city.)
I don't think it's a crime to seek validation for attractiveness. Judging someone based solely on that, yeah, that's a bad thing.
@TheFormerJuneBronson: the only kicker is that then they want sympathy and support and outrage when something bad happens.
I hope you're not implying what I think you're implying.
@andBegorrah: You just cheered me up. Thank you.
Let me find some Virginia Woolf on the web to read. Hating the world right now...
@andBegorrah: Seriously. I can't imagine that wet t-shirt contest were what helped shape her into the amazing awesomeness she is today.
k. Major difference between confidence and approval by the male sex. Especially the cancun trotting male sexes...
@AndSheWas: these girls would drug themselves for a free tshirt.