Easter is when Jesus rose from the dead three days after dying on the cross to save us from our original sins. Original sins are the ones we didn't even commit, that we just had because we were born human, which used to mean "in God's image" but then became flawed because of Eve and that darn apple, and isn't it weird, in the season known for the Bunny bearing gifts of speckled Whopper eggs and Cadbury creme thingys, to think of an apple being a sinful thing to consume? I'm sure they were tastier back before the dawn of modern agribusiness, but still. Anyway Easter is interesting because you never know when it's going to happen, unless your parents happen to be the sort of Catholics who give up drinking for Lent in which case you know exactly when it's going to happen, but anyway it happens the Sunday before the Paschal Full Moon, which — duh — this year is March 23. That means this weekend is Palm Sunday, so you have only ONE WEEK to dredge out your cutest and/or most embarrassing Easter pictures and pay the mailroom guy to scan them and send them to us in the name of Past Fashion, the Jezebel feature that celebrates how we looked before we committed so many sins.
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