there is so much douche in this photo my pupils dilated!

ugh...that sleeve...how do you say, generic? what, no pot leaf with a confederate flag fill-in?

Royal blue. Matchy Matchface.

This dude and Nicole's dude are twins, no? That really creeps me out.

Oh, how quickly douchebags fall in and out of love in Hollywood...barf.

Is she spoofing Nicole now?

id be real pissed if i was Nicole Richie.

I want her glasses. And kinda her outfit, without her on the shirt.

And, I'd love to be snarky, but seeing as they have more of a relationship than I've had lately... I got nothin.

Steam will come out of Nicole's ears when she sees this. Only she gets a Madden brother, not fair!

Does her shirt have a picture of HER on it? Could you be any more narcissistic?

Those Madden boys are so totally punk rock.

Ugh go away.
And dude, you really should know better. You're prolly pissin off yr brother and sister-in-law. get off the paris horse before you get hurt in the penis!

@Tamberstone: How very meta of her.

This is what V.D. would look like if it could wear sunglasses.

There is nothing I find more unattractive than a guy's armpits ... except maybe neck tatoos. The combination of the two makes me highly uncomfortable.

Also, is Paris wearing a picture of herself?

That made me puke in my mouth. A lot.

More like "ew, love."

Is she wearing yet another portrait of herself?

Is that Kit from Project Runway on her shirt?

is that jesus on his neck tattoo??

Oh, who really gives a shit about these two wastes of oxygen?

It's so, so wrong, but his armpit is really turning me on.

GAH! It's too early in the day for this...

@hamburgerhotdog: The fact that Paris is seducing Nic's bro-in-law-ish guy seems really icky and incestuous to me. Like, there's a line there, and Paris is crossing it with that shit-eating smirk on her face.

I want to kick these two in the teeth. Repeatedly.

Oddly, my college roomie went to HS with the Maddens. She claimed to be friends with them (she was a total WASP). One day, one of their songs came on the radio and, after listening to the lyrics, she was like, "Uh, maybe they didn't really like me."

@nofrillslabelwhore

That didnt even occur to me!!! watch this be one of those stupid ashton kutcher jokes.

@hatepaperdoll: you owe me a new keyboard!

That's not a tat sleeve--that's Paris INFECTING Benji.

@bigtittycommittee: I'm surprised his 'mom' tattoo isn't a heart w/ a banner.

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money!!

She looks totally cute, I have to admit. I don't get that thing on her arm, tho.

Also, when did the Madden boys become such hot hollywood property? Seriously? Good Charlotte?

mind-blown.

I'm going to play "body language expert" here for a second and say that he's not exactly that into her. Fake relationship for publicity? COULD IT BEEE?

Oh I just had the most horrible thought! What if she gets herself knocked up and brings a child into the world!? Oh I can't even imagine that. I so wish this one would be sterilized. How much do you bet she does that so her and Nicole's kids will be cousins? The HORROR!

How sick is it that the Madden boys are grounding forces for those two bitches on wheels.

@hatepaperdoll: Best. Comment. Today.

EW EW EW. Too much ew in one post!

Also, I usually dig a guy with a sleeve tat, but his are fug. FUG FUG FUG.

Looks he had a drunken-shaming style colored Sharpie encounter on that arm.
And I LIKE tattoos. A lot. Just not those.
Kanye called, wants his shades back.

gross.

just gross.

Ick. Wrongwrongwrong.

I've come to the conclusion that nobody really truly cares about her and somehow the paparazzis think we do. I mean seriously.. is there anyone out there who actually likes her? She's infiltrated every news outlet... argh.

@badmutha: I think that is her plan, she said many times last year how much she wants to be a mother.

Then she can dress the baby in pictures of herself too.

@ntnks: As Todd Barry once said re: neck tattoos, "You forgot to not do that."

@hatepaperdoll: "Gonorrhea and Syphilis sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i..."

@LipstickLibrarian: Whaa? Are you foreal?
He creeps me out big time.

Please no more pictures of these two. They make me want to simulataneously vomit and crap.

@Leiakat: Can you imagine what HER kids are going to be like when they reach their teens?! I'm scurred.

Tank..top?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you exhibit A in the case of Why Paris's Moneybags Progenitor Has Chopped Her Inheritance Down to Nothing (such as).

@bifteck-frites: yeah but he must be getting so much hate from his family!

Also: Tearing your sleeves off is not a good look. I wish people would stop doing that. If you want to wear a tank top, buy one, don't make it yourself. It's trashy. Ew ew, these two are gross.

I love how she's gone all rocker chick now because she's dating a "rocker" -- and I use the quotation marks for a reason.

Has a more shallow or ridiculous woman ever walked the face of the Earth. I believe the stories that Nicole Ritchie is desperate for them to break up. She can't get away from this skank!!

His "Mom" tattoo is hot

@cuteasabutton: HAHAHA

@Leiakat: And what if she tires of the baby, is she going to lock it in a closet and forget about it like she has done with her pooches?

@ineffable.me: Possibly. Or maybe this is all part of Ashton Kutcher's Great Paparazzi Punk of 2008.

MUST she wear t-shirts featuring HERSELF?

@cupcakesofdeath: Looks like Betty Boop does Marilyn Manson does Jesus to me...

@BiscuitDoughJones: Hey now, my great grandmother and her two sisters married my great grandfather and his two brothers, respectively. I'm not sure that sentence makes sense, but I think you get what I mean!

Geez, thanks, I need to go wash my eyeballs now.

For the love of God and all else that is holy:

PLEASE stop with the Paris Hilton postings. She sucks.

Thank you.

Punk rock.

@bifteck-frites: i guess it could be, but i did totally read somewhere that nicole richie is PISSED about this. i mean, you gotta be an asshole to punk the mother of your niece who just gave birth like 3 months ago and had a very public falling out/distancing from the pariz, right?

@asylum: just in case you didnt know what her number one priority was

@Rhody: In college my boyfriend hooked up with a girl who'd gone to high school with those two. She was once hooking up with one at a party, when the other one came bursting into the room screaming "Don't forget our virginity pact!!" I guess they've given up on that one.

paris, no on the shirt. benji, no on the armpit hair. kthxbai.

@bifteck-frites: ooh! From now on that will be my answer to anything that makes my brain hurt as much as this picture!

@BiscuitDoughJones: I am pretty sure the only line Paris understands is cut with a razor blade, usually on a mirrored surface, so she can see herself.

@KittenFluff: Awesome reference.