Jezebel

95% of my former all-boys school. they're nasty dudes.

Oh my God, what?

These are disgusting. But everyone should see Lars and the Real Girl because that movie is awesome

Oh um just wrong. And yuck. Ever since I saw a documentary about men and their dolls it just creeps me the fuck out.

Oh god Bangie....cover your eyes. You're too pure and innocent to see your pretty girl degraded this way.

Of course, I guess I could have said the same thing about I Know Who Killed Me.

The funny thing is, he's going to have a bunch of lawyers in his shitty in about 3...2..1...

Men, I will never understand you. Ever.

I know what a certain lady is getting for Christmas this year! Unless it's vulgar. Then I'll just round up all the ones I can find and burn them in protest.

Yeah, I already saw this in an episode of Futurama.

YUCK! I will never understand...

Can you imagine the squeaking? It'd be like fucking a pool float.

@Rhody: i will never understand straight guys. i'm a pervy gay guy but dolls? wtf?

OMG, those pictures and dolls look nothing like Christina or Eva or J. Lo...how pathetic...

What's with the excessively pointy boobs? You could put an eye out with those things!

@Cry4Hemp: That is an excellent idea. You think NYSC will mind?

@Cry4Hemp: Fucking a pool float would also be cheaper, and easier to explain. Those things are damn hard to climb up on! You could just fall off over and over and over...

They could have given the poor things a bit of modesty and added some pubic hair, wtf is with that gaping red opening on the 'JHo' doll?

I read that as "make you dude's cream come true" and it still made perfect, if kinda gross, sense.

"Love Holes" always makes me laugh.

LOL I think I just found my nephew a prom date.

Who looks at the blow-up doll and thinks, "Hey BABY!"

Real women aren't squeaky toys. Erm...

That J-Lo doll looks more like my 8th grade math teacher. She was a lovely woman, dedicated to teaching pre-algebra to a group of confused teens--that being said, I don't think that many men were clamoring to have sex with her enough to merit a mass produced inflatable doll.

@Scoregasm: it's retro!

@stacyinbean: It's a "love hole!"

Ha! The discrepancy between the pictures on the boxes and the real thing is HILARIOUS. I wonder if some dude got totally suckered by the false advertising. "Wait, this doesn't look like JLo..."

Ewww.

Oh my god, is that J-Lo naked!?!
Oh, wait, it's just a blow up doll. Wow, its just so realistic.

Dress that shit up in Versace and you could totes get into the vip room at the Beatrice Inn.

@zivah: but, um, did you see the booty? spot on, if you ask me.

p.s. "sex in her shitty"...really? hahah.

@Macloserboy: Actually, these things have been around for awhile. I remember seeing the Christina Aguilera one and the 'JHo' at least a year ago. I can't imagine how they get away with it!

@nodoubt9203 (Reefer Madness '36): Heh. Or I suppose they could be channeling the spirit of Madonna circa the Blonde Ambition tour...but I don't know too many straight guys that were into that.

This is amazing. I want the Jessica Tandy model... WHAT?!

I want to start writing copy for sex toy packaging. "She loves BIG." HA! Also seems incredibly easy.

@DorothyZbornak: barf! what a gross phrase! I actually just have a really hard time with 'hole' unless it's preceded by ass and is in relation to someone I strongly dilike.

That's a JLo love doll? My GOD! I thought it was really her. The resemblance is uncanny. From the frightfully pointy boobs to the surprised expression. All I can say is well done, Pipedream. Well done.

@hatepaperdoll: HA! You beat me to it.

Do they have male love dolls? I'm afraid to click over...

@stacyinbean: I think it's hilarious that they feel the need to use the word "love." As if using the word "love" makes it less icky that you're essentially fucking a pool float.

@Lady Skittlehattington's Publicist: HAAA!

@DorothyZbornak: I love that they come with three tender love holes.

Where are the seams on this thing? Someone's going to cut his tongue trying to lick boobs.

@hatepaperdoll: That should be on Ashton Kutcher's new show.

@hortense: I have a feeling it's very, very vulgar.

Though we could dress her up like in Mean Girls--maybe that wouldn't be so bad?

oy why do women in porn have comma eyebrows? is there any intelligent explanation for this ?

@DorothyZbornak: What I don't understand is the triangle breasts... Why wouldn't you just fuck a pool float? The eyeballs on my sister's alligator float would feel WAY more like breasts than those things.

"Sarah Jessica Porkher Loves Sex In Her Shitty" Made me literally cackle for like 10 seconds.

To think if Spitz had just stuck to the love dolls ---

I don't understand who buys these? Is it nerdy guys, sick guys or just the majority?

@Macloserboy: You know why I think they can get away with it? Look real close at the packages (I know, I know). They never mention any last names, and those are not the real Eva, JLo and Linds - they just kind of resemble them. The actual doll, on the other hand, looks like nothing on this earth.

@stacyinbean: hahaha. JHo!

@hammerimissu: I have a feeling these poor dolls help facilitate the "fun" at bachelor parties, or do well to embarass the college kid whose frat buddies are playing a prank.

@AndSheWas: I love how SJP has three "fabulous" love holes, whoever wrote this copy has really got the lingo down.

@poogirl:I would tune in for that episode : )

Bahahaha. This reminds me of when I used to work at the county jail in my home town when I was 18. It was the captain's birthday, and the guys totally got a blow-up doll and put a big bow on it and put it in the captain's chair. We were all in the tower watching the cameras when he walked into his office and his reaction was priceless.

@Cry4Hemp: *snarfed coffee*

@cuteasabutton:
Oh God you saw that!?!? I have only heard bits and pieces of it! The creep factor is at Defcon 1. GROSS!

I love the way those things look out of the box compared to the photos on the box. The Jennifer Lopez butt is ridiculous.

@blondegrlz: @leMaldeTete:

I'm going to slap a People mag on the top of mine and call him Clooney.

Can you copyright yourself?

Those have to be the most hilarious least life looking things I have ever seen. If that actually gets men off I feel sorry for them. haha!

I can see the Lindsay one being dressed up and used in an art student's project on the media. Recreating her downward spiral and healing process. Or commenting on the objectification and cult of the female star.

I sincerely hope that the only reason people would buy these things would be for gag gifts.

@Leiakat: guys who "use" this type of aid rarely can perform with a real woman. These are just so sad. I cannot imagine this is better than masturbating.

The, er, "Lindsay" doll has "3 cylinders of love!" Real Dolls these are not-- those almost resemble human women. But I think Resusca Annie would be a sexier love doll than these.

@aubonpam: I actually thought the butt in the picture on the box looked way smaller than J-Lo's actual butt.

This is like the song in the Apple commercial, except way more creepy. "I"m a dead soul looking for three love holes..."

As you all know, I am VERY uncomfortable with the sexualization of my pretty, pretty girl. But this goes so far beyond that...I'm just, gah.
And, Dodai? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

With all this talk of pool floats, how fucking gross/funny would it be if someone brought one of these to the beach and used it as such?

@nodoubt9203 (Reefer Madness '36):
For the comma eyebrows . . . I have a theory that they're on all meth. I watch a lot of Intervention and I have yet to see a meth addict that hasn't completely done away with her brows and redrawn messy commas in their place.

@stolichnora: I am now buying a "love doll" for my friend will a pool and pretending I thought it WAS a pool float, completely innocently.