Jezebel
- I know what I want, you know what I want, I know what you need, can you handle me? Thus begins the mellifluous "What We Want," the latest track posted on the MySpace page of Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the musician, abuse victim, former drug abuser and self-professed "non moron" who had sex with Eliot Spitzer under the name "Kristen" the night before Valentine's Day. Perhaps some blog will pay her $4,300 to perform it at their annual party in May? [NYT]
- The Emperor's Club also offered graphic design and consulting services but I'm thinking they weren't that popular because I could probably design their website myself. [Slate]
- Eliot Spitzer is a Gemini. Libras are famously attracted to Geminis so I guess I should consider it a bullet dodged. [Huffington Post]
- Dina McGreevey is still pretty pissed. You would be, too, if your husband had told you he was gay by asking you to read a draft of a speech he was about to give. [NYT]
- Geraldine Ferrarro abdicated her position on the Clinton campaign so she can continue speaking her mind about how easy black guys have it compared to white women. [Reuters]
- Syphilis rates are up for a seventh year in a row. Is Bubonic Plague next? [Reuters]
- Two men, one 17 and one 21, were charged in the murder of that pretty UNC student. The motive appears to be robbery. Awesome. [NYT]
- Just because the country's economic fundamentals are nowhere near as weak as they were back in the seventies doesn't mean the recession won't be as weak as the seventies because no one really remembers the seventies so the inflation and job prospects and such seem shitty enough to consumers and investors and all those bad vibes are enough to set off a ripple of liquidity problems that will send the whole thing spiraling wildly out of control because maybe the economic fundamentals were never that great to begin with and it was all a collective exercise in delusional fantasy. [Slate]
- Bad news for Boeing, not that they need it. And for anyone trying to get anywhere in an airplane, not that they need it either. [WSJ]
- The problem with America is not that our standards of living are so high technology companies don't want to hire us. (I mean, let's face it guys, the standards of living of most Americans are pretty fucking low, considering the aggregate size of this economy.) No, the problem with America is that everyone is stupid. Bill Gates, paraphrased. [Breitbart]
- Maybe it will help that people don't have as much money to waste at the mall. [IHT]
- Rush Limbaugh's evil plot to win Texas and Ohio for HIllary was actually an illegal evil plot, not that there's really a huge difference. [Wired]
- Once you get past the whole "the anorexics are going to love this shit" aspect of them pickle juice popsicles actually sound like a good idea. [Wash Post]
Comments
Well, at least Ashley Alexandra is pretty. We all know that that's what really counts.
The Bubonic Plague? Don't even joke about that shit. I've been working on a research paper about the Black Death in the 1300s and through my readings I've come across some scientific journals that mention an increasing threat of plague in the US and our government's--once again--lack of preparation for it. It is totally freaking me out. Then again, I cried halfway through "Sicko" and made Mr. Cinemaddict turn it off.
Too bad you banned that intelligent and insightful Apple_Giraffe yesterday. In addition to calling Abigail Breslin a slut and claiming to have been whoring herself out to men since she was five, she also claimed this woman was her cousin! She could be filling us all in right now!!!
Ahhh she sings and dances for a grand an hour. Got it.
Mm, myspace friends.
She looks so young. I mean, I knew she would, but to see it there in full color...you just know: he's a PERV.
Hmm... I'm a Gemini, and I'm inexplicably attracted to Virgos. By that I mean, my cucci say's "That one" and my brain says,"That one? Oh, honey, no, we don't do that." Er... since college.
At least we can say that El-Spit had good taste in music and women. But seriously, the surrealism is getting me drunk.
I took the bullet and listened to her song for you. Actual sample lyrics: "Wanna believe you, can't really trust you...would you stay true?"
This means my diamond rating is much higher than I would have previously assumed.
God forgive me but she reminds me of Heidi Fleiss (physically).
"an amateurish, hip-hop inflected rhythm and blues tune that asks, "Can you handle me, boy?" and uses some dated slang, calling someone her "boo."
HAHA
Not to be an annoying nitpicky bitch, but it's syphilis. Three years of sex ed (6th grade, 9th grade, 11th grade) will do that to you. Yay New York state sex ed mandates! (I'll never forget the porny video they made us watch for breast self-exams).
I feel bad for her.
@misssgolightly:
Good lord, alls I got was a semester in 10th grade.
I love that we're in an age where the mother of a young lady who has just been outed as a high-priced prostitute can remark to media: "She's a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor." Um, yeah. And that part about "getting into something much bigger than herself"? An understatement, given the circumstances. Glad everyone can keep a cool, level-headed perspective on things (wtf?)
"On the Web page is a recording of what she describes as her latest track, "What We Want," an amateurish, hip-hop inflected rhythm and blues tune that asks, "Can you handle me, boy?" and uses some dated slang, calling someone her "boo."
Oh Ashley, you and your dated slang.
@jess3: JINX!
@sabbaticalplease:
haha BEST. COMMENT. EVER.
...everyone's thinking it.
she and Heidi Montag should totally record a duet together. think of the combined brainlessness!
The use of the word "pretty" in that post is ... fascinating.
What kind of abuse and which drug?
My Big Gay Coworker (tm) said:
"$ 4 grand for her? Gay or straight she ain't even worth a pack Dorals and Funyons in my book."
When I got over the fact that this was the 3rd time today he referenced some kind of convenience store metaphore, I realized I kind of saw his point.
I don't see it.
Here are more pics of her: [www.thesmokinggun.com]
She looks lot older for a 22-year-old
This alleged "high class" prostitute is from Belmar, NJ. Probably one of the trashiest Jersey Shore spots (albiet also amazing!) You can take the girl outta Jersey....I bet she has a tramp stamp tat.
@MaeHemm: I don't know what to feel.
One hand: girl from bad home, just trying to make some money, misguided and naive.
Other hand: (as one Gawker commenter personofinterest put it) "Um, prostitution is illegal and she participates in ruining lives and supporting all forms of prostitution and human trafficing so she can live in New York and buy shoes. Isn't that kind of wrong."
I'm leaning towards the first one.
Don't anybody hit me- I have a myspace page. I also have a club. It's loads of fun. One girl told me off and resigned.
@TheUptightMidwesterner: That's great. I like your co-worker.
Her mom doesn't think she knew who the governor was when he was her "client". Kids today. So ignorant.
Real talk, she is probably going to get famous now. What a sad world we live in.
<----is a gemini
@misssgolightly: The video they made us watch for breast exams in TN mainly showed a bunch of girls walking, dancing, and jumping around topless, occasionally pausing to admire their tits in a mirror or feel themselves up.
Wow, I know a lot more about Kristen than Elliott ever wanted to. And I didn't even have to buy her dinner.
@TheUptightMidwesterner:
I don't mean to be a moral orel, but isn't questioning whether this woman was "worth" $4000 an hour (it was actually $1000) kind of go against the spirit of Jezebel? Especically since it appears that she has had a shitty shitty past and the typical male abandonment issues that are all to common in people who end up in the sex industry.
He's the public figure, not her... she doesn't deserve derision.
@jess3: I was thinking the same thing, she's going to make it big now.
@ZippyTortoise: Ours began with bow-chika-wow-wow porn music, and showed a few smiling teen girls in their respective rooms. They then pulled off their tops and bras and seductively lay on their beds, rubbing their tits while smiling at the camera. Boys were literally taking pictures with their camera phones.
The testicle exam consisted of a white guy and a black guy getting out of (different) showers, and taking off their robes. They mostly showed the white guy rubbing his balls, but then they did this really sketchy closeup of the black guy's penis, then switched back to the white guy's balls.
Two years ago, and these images are still imprinted on my brain.
@sabbaticalplease: You don't pay a couple grand to "get to know" your hooker. You pay a couple grand for the hooker to "get to know" you.
@meglovesyouxx: agreed.
I feel really good about myself about it too. its kind of disturbing how seemingly matter of fact it is with her family....
@dirtyfez: Seriously, how typical. How could she not recognize her own Governor?
@sabbaticalplease: Just amazing! Thanks for the laugh after a very long workday!
@Jezebabe:
Ugh, I pretended not to recognize mine.
@Cry4Hemp:
And innocent! Even making hush face! I feel like she's that quiet chick that sits in front of me in Math that doodles flowers and shit all over her notebook.
@laos: mmm good point however the fact that she is most likely going to end up on Playboy and make a ton of money makes me not feel as badly.
@misssgolightly: Aww man, at my school they didn't let us girls watch the testicle one. (They didn't let the boys in on the breast exam vid either; I think they were much more upset about that than I as a 13-year-old was about missing out on seein' some testes.)
She's logged in today and hasn't taken down the MySpace page, so I'm guessing she doesn't mind the attention. What's the odds that she'll be on GMA tomorrow?
She's probably gonna milk this for all it's worth ... ew, wrong expression here. But still.
Wow, she is a striking resemblance to this girl I used to SWEAR was an undercover prostitute/"Executive Assistant".
I already put money on it, too. I can feel it in my bones.
** pretend. Gah, what's wrong with me today.
@laos: Moral. Orel. No you didn't just bring up my guilty pleasure!
I like a good pickle popsicle when it's hot out.
Take it how you want to.
@NicoleItchy: You know how HARD it is to delete a MySpace page?!?! I've been trying to get rid of mine for 4 months!
@laos: Yes, yes questioning if she was "worth it" is anti-Jezebel. And anti-woman. And shameful.
No woman should be "worth it" because no woman should be bought. God.
It's a problem when we focus too much on politicians' sex life, and ignore the much more relevant impact of their job. Nowhere was that more clear than in the McGreevey case. The fact was, Jim McGreevey, prior to his coming out and seeming resignation over that revelation, was facing a host of corruption indictments. He was a thoroughly corrupt governor. The only part of his sex life that relates to that was that he gave his lover a job. But that is chump change compared to the rest of McGreevey's flagrant avarice. Of course, he knew that the revelation about his sexuality would take all the attention away from what really matters. He distracted America with penises while he made off like a bandit. Call it Wag the Cock.
Of course, more often than not, it's not the politician who uses his or her own sexual scandal to deflect attention. It's enemies of the politicians, and the media at large. Politicians are liable to abuse their powers in a billion ways, and yet sex is often the only one that gets attention. I'm amazed that the public at large can apparently work up so much outrage that Spitzer has to resign immediately. But other politicians, even Spitzer himself, has done worse than fuck hookers on his own time and own dime. I'm exasperated that we live in a culture where there can be so much ambivalence and apathy over public policies based on lies, but so much attention and outrage over private lies.
Here's your 15 minutes of fame, Ashley. Enjoy!
@Crackercake:
Oi! After seeing the rest of the comments the commenter above linked to I can totally see the Jerseyness. I still feel awful for the poor girl but something tells me she doesn't feel so awful herself.