"Is anyone offering her legal counsel or alternatives to prostitution?" Yeah at a $1000 an hour it would have to be a pretty good alternative!

Oh god, that is how Carrie met Mr. Big.

It was that moment of mortification of my life being exposed for the world to see, because a girl's life is in her purse.

Uhhh...my purse is a shitty burlap Strand bag from back when they only had 8 miles of books, not 18. So...yeah. No.

But let the flood gates open about prostitution. It's always going to be around, so we might as well take steps to make it safe for all those involved. Sex is a social activity, and whenever the government tries to ban a social activity (such as drinking the booze) it fucking fails, fails, fails. Just like current legislation that deals with prostitution, it fails, fails, fails.

But the desire men have(and yes, okay, maybe some women) to pay for sex and power will most likely never fail, fail, fail.

At any price, I think it can be demeaning towards the women involved. You're selling your body for an hour or two, so some jerk can take advantage of what he can get away with...Eliot should be publicly shamed (and should resign), but the backlash will probably be the harshest towards the women.

Oh, it's no big deal! Easy for them to say, they don't have to deal with the aftermath of their John's actions.

No man who pays women for sex is poor, either.

Also, I can't wait for the SVU episode where a bumbling New York City Mayor has sex with prostitutes, but supports a high rolling female senator with her eyes on the big prize, and him and the prostitute end up dead. And who's got blood on their hands? The mentally challenged hobo the female senator hired to kill them because the mayor fucked up her campaign.

@hammerimissu: seriously, now even the prostitutes are lying about their lives to the media, have we learned nothing from the whole girl in the ghetto/a million little pieces/oprah?

This is kind of...weird. When you say, "Prostitution isn't a victimless crime--many women end up in prostitution because of incest or economic hardship or racism"--that doesn't seem to follow. It's not like elminating prostitution would make the women who had been sexually abused somehow not victims of sexual abuse anymore. And prostitution isn't the cause of economic hardship, it's the result.

Is it my imagination, or does focusing on how to convince people that prostitution is a bad idea seem like a kind of a waste of time?

@hamburgerhotdog: not really, there's cheaper service you can get on the corner for like 20 bucks im sure.

Okay, this is an important angle that hasn't been covered and I totally agree that it's relevant and serious.

However...

One of the hookers is named Winslow?

Winslow?

Srsly?

In reality, they say, most women who become hookers -- even the "classier" breed of escort workers -- "have been sexually abused as children, studies show. Incest sets young women up for prostitution -- by letting them know what they're worth and what's expected of them.

my guess is that a lot of people who are really promiscuous (those who get paid for it and those who give it away on craigslist) both can fit this history. we're all Go Girl! when it's a woman who just likes to have sex with lots of guys, even anonymously. but she could've gone through the same childhood shit as a hooker.

The Today Show had a "happy hooker" story this morning, too. Really paints hooking as a glamorous, empowerful career path.

@braak: well no, but I think what they're trying to get at is that it's not victimless because the women have been abused and are just perpetuating the cycle. she's probably trying to say that we need more comprehensive therapy, outreach programs, whatever to abused women so that they don't end up like that.

ugh, i really dont make any sense before i finish my chai in the morning, what a pain.

"their crime is that they're poor or just getting started in life"???? Oh, boo hoo. The poor menz.

There was a former prost on The Today Show today, and she is a college grad who quit her job as a social worker to join the Bunny Ranch. She was all, "I took home a million dollars last year" and I was all, yes but what did you contribute to society?! Nothing. That's really, really sad. Now she flies to Beverly Hills to get her hair done and is aiming to retire by the time she's 30.

i always equate the support of decriminalizing prostitution with being pro-choice. a woman owns her body, and therefore, has the right to decide what she wants to do with it. also, banning the act of offering sex as a service doesn't eliminate the practice, it simply marginalizes it, makes it dangerous for all involved, and costs the tax-paying public money that could be spent on myriad other things, like sex education and other resources for women.

having said that, spitzer is still an asshole. he decided to prosecute prostitutes publicly and indulge in them privately. hypocrite.

@BeckySharper: I read that and the first thing I thought of was Carl Winslow from "Family Matters." Wierd.

This quote from Natalie is a gem:

A lot of the married guys, one of the things I used to believe at the time was that I was actually doing a service for these guys, because rather than having an affair with their secretary and potentially ruining their lives, they would come see me, satisfy their needs physically and some of the companionship they wanted - going on a date, having fun, relaxing - and being able to sustain their marriage. Apparently that's what some people need.

Don't pull a muscle patting yourself on the back!

@ineffable.me: Oh please. The men getting slurpees in Hunts Point aren't calling Tracy Quan.

I think her point *is* really interesting that most well-connected boys use the discreet, word-of-mouth madams rather than escort services that advertise. Why did Spitzer not know this, she asks? Good question.

Of course, it took me a minute to understand the distinction, knowing nothing about this stuff.

prostitution is the oldest profession. you can look at it like, oh those poor girls, the "unfortunates" as they were called in their heyday in Victorian London. certainly if the women do not have a choice in the matter (i.e. sex slaves or what have you) then it's a tragic situation. but if a woman is doing it of her own volition, taking control of her life and using her assets to her best advantage, i say more power to her. recently, my future dreams were crushed, and i was left wondering what the hell i would do now that my plan had been derailed. and then i heard about spitzer, and thought, hell if i can't find a soul-sucking corporate job, i should become a call girl and hope i can rope in some wealthy clients. there have to be some dudes who would pay for intelligent conversation and possibly sex with a blond chick, right?

@ineffable.me:

i'm sure you could get a bj somewhere for $5 from somebody who needs her next fix NOW.

Where the heck is CollegeCallgirl's take on this?

@hamburgerhotdog: i dont get it.

@andromache: i would really hope that are you are half joking in your comment. for your sake.

@msAnthrope: yeah, exactly.

@SarahMC: It seems the "happy hooker" plays right into how society would like all women to be-- open and ready at all times, and happy about it. Of course they're not going to show the ugly side of prostitution by interviewing women with stories that don't jive with the "happy hooker" story. It's such a downer.

Shouldn't Spitzer be getting arrested?

@MaMaMoose: Well that would be a bonerkiller and we can't have that.

Being used is never empowering and no healthy woman turns to prostitution as a choice. As the runt prosecutor, my sister used to deal with the hookers and the johns and yes, the girls all wanted to get back on the street but it wasnt because they LOVE getting paid for sex. The city she works for actually focused more on the johns (making them attend special classes and posting their pictures on the internet).

I've always said I would dump a man in an instant if I found out he had used a prostitute because there is something so misogynistic about it. Paying a woman to pretend that you are something special...gives me the heebie jeebies. Especially the guys that could get it for free because I feel like they just want to feel superior to someone.

@MaMaMoose: nah, that's what HBO is for...

Fucking $80K!?! Man loves himself some sodomy. And while I agree the "victim" of prostitution is the prostitute themselves if no one else, it's the world's oldest profession for a reason, and good luck trying to stomp it out.

As with all vice, I just wish we would make it legal, as safe as possible, and tax the hell out of it. Drugs and prostitution just aren't going away anytime soon.

@hamburgerhotdog:

i don't think she means Hunts Point. you said "any man who pays for sex isn't poor." you weren't location-specific! i agree people who pay for escorts aren't poor, but in shitty parts of cities sex is just a couple of dollars changing hands. especially when you're talking about addicts on both sides (drug-addicted hookers and sex-addicted johns who'll spend their last $5 for sex instead of food.)

Yay. The hooker-fucking hypocritical governor is resigning. Now, if only he'll be arrested...doubtful.

@SarahMC: his defense team is planning on meeting with prosecutors to discuss a "legal liability." that's all i got!

@andromache: Just remember, life can totally surprise you. (get ready for cheesiness): Just don't give up, and keep your eye on long term goals.
I'm struggling with a similar situation myself. (at least it sounds like it)

@ineffable.me: But isn't the cycle of abuse when you, having been abused, become an abuser yourself? It doesn't seem like prostitution--certainly not expensive prostitution like this--actually creates new abusers.

I'm not trying to be a jackass or anything, I'm just trying to figure it out. If the woman was sexually abused when she was younger, isn't she a victim of that crime? Is it then accurate to say that being a prostitute is her repeated victimization?

There's just something weird here that I'm having trouble articulating.

@toubab: yeah, i agree. i was talking about this with the bf yesterday. there's just something so skeevy about it.

@SarahMC: Especially in the morning.

@SarahMC: jinx :)

We keep reading that johns are rarely arrested. But that's probably the rich, Harvard-educated ones like Spitzer. There's plenty of schlobs in NY and DC even serving time for it, as they should, they broke the law. Did I spell schlobs right?

@braak: oh no no! i didnt mean that at all.
i meant that maybe they meant that if they help abused women then they wont turn into prostitutes sort of thing. yes, that last sentence is accurate in what i mean, the whole "being a prostitute is her repeated victimization"

Jezebel, are you trying to make us not read this site? COMMENTS. No matter how often I refresh or clean my cache.

I think the "transaction" is inherently demeaning. It just shows a lack of respect for women, and it's supporting an industry where sexual abuse, drugs, violence and other threats to safety are rampant.

But I do think prostitution will always be around, and if there's any way to do it right, (I hate to say it, but) it would probably look something like the now-infamous Emperor's Club -- women getting paid really well, having a certain degree of autonomy/freedom to move about, and the ability to tell a John who doesn't want to use a condom, "Look, do you want the sex, or not?"

Someone should contact Charlie Gasparino of CNBC..While commenting on the Spitzer scandal on Monday, he couldn't say enough times on the air how prostitution was a victim-less crime...in front of a panel of women nonetheless!! They each gasped every time he said it...At one point, I was more offended by this ignorant, pious asshole than the fact that Spitzer had just humiliated his entire family and the State of New York. I'm sure a lil' background check on Gasparino would reveal a few indiscretions of his own.

@msAnthrope: Let me clarify then: any man who can afford the services of Natalie or Tracy Quan or a seven-cubic zirconia call girl they're paying hundreds or thousands of dollars plus hotel room for isn't poor. Tracy Quan's quote, "I've never been in favor of arresting and shaming men who pay for sex. Most customers who get in trouble aren't high-profile politicians like Eliot Spitzer. Their 'crime' is that they're poor or getting started in life." is odd - is she supposed to be referring to Johns or call girls by the last sentence? It's strangely worded.

@ineffable.me: Okay. Well, I understand wanting to help at the level of the women involved. If we say: here's therapy, here's alternatives, don't be crazy. That's all good, I'm in favor of that. But what if she decides to become a prostitute anyway? Because based on this idea that prostitution inherently victimizes the prostitutes, that would mean that any woman that wanted to be a prostitute would be, by definition, mentally unstable.

But that can't be right, can it? I mean, what if you (in this imaginary, ideal situation) helped all the women that were the victims of incest and sexual abuse, and you eliminated racism, and eased the discepency of economic hardship, and there were still women that wanted to be prostitutes? Are those women still victims?

@braak: i think that the whole point of the piece is not merely to convince people that prostitution is a bad idea. i think that it challenges the public, officials, policy makers, etc. to stop stigmatizing prostitutes and to actually start helping them in concrete ways. For example, if a prostitute is caught offering sex for money, she'll be thrown in jail. There's not much support system for her at all-- no substance abuse help, counseling, employment services, etc.

Historically, our patriarchal society has seen prostitutes as fallen women or over-sexualized whores/femme fatales(sp?) who are subjects of humiliation and castigation-- they are not to be saved, bec. they are already damned.

Well, we have to change that misconception!

@braak:

i don't think the results of childhood sex abuse is that
cut and dried. some people may grow up to "abuse" as
you see with boys who are sexually abused and grow up
to be men who are pedaphiles. i don't know how much
that is documented with women.

but i do know that many who fall under the "sex addict"
category have also suffered childhood trauma, such as
being sexually abused by a parent, or even repeatedly
witnessing a parent being openly unfaithful to the other
parent.

these people then become those who need sex to
regulate their moods and cope with stress... so they'd
become the johns constantly looking for sex, or
the people on craigslist willing to hook up with
anybody, or somebody who just is very very
promiscuous.