Jezebel
A week or two ago I glanced up from my laptop long enough to catch my first glimpse of a commercial whose audio I had heard dozens of times before. It was for Nutri-System, and the audio consisted of a woman's claim to have lost 41 pounds following the weight-loss regimen. Is that Jillian Barberie? I wondered, unaware that the morning television personality I had watched habitually for years as a resident of Los Angeles in the earlier part of this century had since changed her name to Jillian Barberie-Reynolds or, more to the point, that she had become fat. (And, mercifully, thin again.) I consulted Google: indeed, she had gained 41 pounds. And what unfortunate fate had occasioned this traumatic bloat in Jillian's trademark svelte frame? Oh, pregnancy. Hmm. Well, then. It is now a few weeks later, and I find myself mulling the merits of Lisa Marie Presley's libel lawsuit against the Daily Mail for a related phenomenon, the equation of the weight gained due to one's pregnancy with weight gained due to eating an excess of food.
Now, surely the Daily Mail can argue that Lisa Marie's pregnancy may have occasioned her to consume an excess of food — indeed, that she was using pregnancy as an excuse to do so — but the truth is that for some time we have been watching a steady erosion in the customary grace period allotted to a female celebrity's figure maintenance to account for her part in the creation of a new human being. And while both Ms. Barberie-Reynolds and Ms. Presley stand to gain financially from the blurring of the lines between the two forms of weight gain — and that is to ignore the myriad other ways female celebrities have managed to line their own pockets, in addition to those of the celebrity-industrial complex, through the conception (or failure to conceive) children — I am beginning to wonder if the whole thing isn't a little, well, degrading to the very culture of human life the media is supposed to be celebrating when we fetishize fertility/eschew the subject of abortion in all consumer magazines and blockbuster movies/pay seven-figure ransoms for baby pictures.
No, seriously, actually, whatever. It's just this week's sign of the apocalypse etc. etc. But you know.
Comments
After a woman gives birth, she should immediately pack her things and go to fat camp. Her only concern should be to get back into pre-baby shape. She shouldn't worry about feeding and tending to that new life she just created. That is what nannys are for. Duh.
*sarcasm.
Happy 49th anniversary, Barbie! It's only taken 5 decades for the cultural brainwashing to be complete.
Oh yes. NutriSystem is a FANTASTIC WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. Why yes, I would like a shit ton of preservatives & processed "food" that smells like feet!
Lucrative baby-picture sums = you have to stay in the breakneck press cycle straight through your pregnancy! Go away for a year and a half and start raising a kid, and when you come back no one will remember you! Your career will be over! As soon as someone figures out how to look glamorous while giving birth, we'll have induced-labor press conferences.
Any ladies out there who aren't pregnant but have had men ask them how many months they are?
nothing new, but i know when i get pregnant, i hope to lose the weight in a quick amount of time because i heard it gets harder as time goes on. it's just wanting to look like you did before. but for people to pressure you to do so is crap.
Celebrities who have babies are allowed to sequester themselves for a brief period of time and focus their attention on losing all the baby weight (healthily and unhealthily), which makes the rest of the world believe that any women can lose weight post-pregnancy quickly and easily. Which is really really unfair.
And what's with this trend of bloggers calling pregnant ladies fat? Don't they realize how pregnancy works?
Right now I'm trying to lose weight and also trying to get pregnant. I almost feel like I shouldn't bother with the former since the baby's just going to undo all that weight loss. But then I think it will be easier to lose the weight afterwards if I don't have extra pre-baby weight to lose.
And then I wonder when I lost my mind.
God, heaven forbid anyone be FAT. It sure is horrifying that we're confusing baby weight with something as grotesque as simple FAT. Perish the thought.
@hollywoodenflames: yes, some dumb ass cashier did that to me after commenting on my large salad. I looked horrified and was speechless, and never wore THAT empire waist top again.
SAME QUESTION I asked when seeing that commercial.
@murielmercurial:
Storks? Is it storks?
@bess marvin, girl detective: I hope to lose it at a good pace, but I also know I will enjoy my time where I can eat Haagen Daaz Coffee Ice Cream for three meals a day with no questions asked.
I'm not fat - my fetus is.
@hollywoodenflames: I once had a guy try to pick me up at a bus stop with the line, "hey, you pregnant?" When I said, "no!" he replied, "wanna go back to my place? I've got plenty of money! Doesn't matter how I've got it, but it's there, wanna see?" and wouldn't quit 'til the bus came! The worst part was, when the bus finally came, I was more disturbed about the idea I looked pregnant than by the harrassment.
Okay all you who are weirded out by breastfeeding. This is yet another reason to nurse your babies: you will lose the baby weight much faster if you do. Seriously. Of course breastfeeding doesn't work out for everyone and I am not one of those moms who likes to push it on people. But for reals, it melts off the pounds.
@hollywoodenflames: OMG!! I used to work with this lady that got the biggest kick out of that. her belly was hard and swollen and people would always ask and she would laugh and say oh you are 5 yrs too late...
Me, myself, personably would have kicked the ever living shat out of someone that asked me that...
@hollywoodenflames: Never a man, but other women, yes. When wearing those billowy freaking babydoll shirts.
I laughed once at a lady who said it to me (and I'm pretty sure she did it connivingly!) and told her that no, they were real. (Ignoring her gaze at my torso area and pretending to mistake her comment as praise for my rack).
"dinner consists of raw fruits & vegetables" sounds more like the appetizer portion to me...
it's all absolute madness. i saw the ad and i thought, it must be someone who looks like jillian barberie because jillian barberie is emaciated.
So now we're supposed to look like anorexic teenagers as soon as we squeeze Junior out, eh? Oh, and before of course. Yes. that sounds about right.
@smileonadog: that fucking happened to me too. my friend says it's because i "have big ol titties." i don't know why, but it felt like the most offensive thing anyone has said to me. whatever. it was a man with a big belly who said it too. jerk.
@hollywoodenflames: :: raises hand::
@so5minutesago: Word!
My husband's ex-wife was one of those Jenny Craig success stories that they used on the TV commercials. I guess her real-life "BEFORE" picture didn't provide enough of a contrast to the "AFTER", so they used a picture of her when she was pregnant.
Yes, let's not give pregnant women a complex about weight.
Breastfeeding helps, I've heard.
Also, Kate Hudson gained a bunch of weight (for her size) and now she's back to normal. Maybe she doesn't eat and maybe it's simply the resources at her disposal. But, knowing it's possible is enough for me.
@blondegrlz: This is my deal too, except I'm not trying to get pregnant -- it's more that I"d like to be in the position to in the next couple of years. But I'm in the worst shape of my life right now (which I hasten to add isn't necessarily about weight, except for me it is, and that corresponds directly to the fact that I'm living the most unhealthily I ever have) and I hate the idea of getting pregnant on top of that and it being even more difficult to get back into reasonable shape after that. Also, the better condition your body is in, the easier childbirth is, right?
@so5minutesago: Awesome! I've just found the father of my prospective baby!
@Gin*: past tense @ see*
The whole weight loss "before/after" pics are very often models shortly after giving birth. They were skinny to begin with, they'll either be pregnant or NEWLY post-partum in the "Before" pic and then they'll work out/diet and get their bodies back for the "after" pic. Not that it's not hard to lose that weight, but it's easier when you're naturally thin and naturally athletic.
Back when I was heavier and a pre-school teacher (unrelated to one another) I had students ask if I had a baby in my tummy. *sigh* THAT sucked.
@hollywoodenflames: when I wear empire waist tops or dresses, I'll sometimes get a seat on the subway from a polite young lady or gentleman. This doesn't bother me even a little... neither does taking the seat.
There are far worse things than being fat...there's being vain and stupid for example.
Oh, and re: the being-mistaken-for-pregnant thing, that is one of the thing that hammered home to me just how much weight I've put in on the past year or so -- I have the exact same stomach protuberance as a friend of mine (who was/is a very healthy weight) did when she was six months pregnant. Except mine is not encasing human life or anything, unless by "human life" you mean "crab rangoon."
ugh this enragesssss me. can we have a jezebel meet up where we have a bonfire and burn horrible tabloids??
@esmemurphy: It contracts your uterus, which is neat. You also burn a bunch of calories.
@esmemurphy: I breastfed for two years, loved almost every minute of it, but didn't drop any significant weight until AFTER I quite breastfeeding. I'm obviously totally pro-breastfeeding, but I wouldn't want anyone choosing to do so under the possible misconception that it will promote a svelte pre-baby figure magically or something. In my case, it was just time that helped me shed the extra weight.
@Archetype: I feel the same way about Kate Hudson. I looooooooooooved seeing her big, she gained 70lbs with her pregnancy. Seeing her look more like my size, made me realize then I could maybe look like her one day..it wasnt like this impossible goal.
I dont place a lot of emphasis on the resources one has at their disposal...just cos a celebrity has a trainer and a gourment diet meal delivery service , doesnt neccesarily mean they will lose weight any easier than the normal person- its all about willpower and actually doing the work. When I put my mind to it (finally), I didnt have a problem losing weight.
This commercial pissed me off so much, as do all the weight-loss gimmick ads with the before shot of a pregnant woman. Not all woman have skinny genes, and this whole obsession with pregnancy weight gain, before and after, makes me ill.
And I would NEVER comment to someone about being pregnant based on looks, unless it was exceedingly obvious, and even then, I'm not sure if I would risk it. It's just tacky, y'all.
@Archetype: Yep, Kate Hudson looks great. And yet still popped up on the cover of a tabloid (all I know is it wasn't Us Weekly or Star) with an "Is She Pregnant?!?" idiot cover line over the photo of her in a bikini at the Raleigh. With absolutely no discernible stomach fat at all, but hey! Apparently for a single moment the angle made it look like she might have some. (Although never to my eyes.)
@Archetype: It helps, but it's not, like, this magic weight loss thing. It more helps to tighten your torso back up.
Well, it's stupid for strange men or women in general to check in on your state of personal affairs, or to assume you are pregnant if you have big boobs or a pot belly. All I'm saying.
@cinemaddict: *Quit breastfeeding.
You can't make a sweeping generalization about pregnancy weight gain/loss. I gained about 75 lbs with my first baby and was back to regular size in about three months because it was all weird water and stuff (I,m not saying I was toned, but I was back to pre-pregnancy weight/size). But the last 10 of the 30 I gained with the second tot took me almost five years to get rid of. Ok, so I'm kind of lazy and I don't have a career that depends on me looking a certain way. I didn't do anything different either time (except age a few years) -- didn't eat more, exercise less -- so you just can't always tell. What bothered me about the Lisa Marie thing was her reaction. As if saying someone is gaining weight was so terrible. I'm not saying it wouldn't have bothered me -- I can be vain -- and I know the part about comparisons to her dad's weight were mean. But I almost wished she had gone the "I'm not going to even dignify this drivel with a comment" route. Because it's really none of our business -- our bodies, our choices: to get pregnant, terminate pregnancies, carry them to term, get fat, stay thin, etc.
my dad was on nutrisystem and i was like "oh, that looks ok, it is meatloaf?" and he was like "it's lasagna." and then i felt bad.
@ruth_less: Sometimes, crab rangoon is more satisfying than an infant. And it almost always tastes better.
@so5minutesago: That's hilarious. Also, you might live in my neighborhood.
@ruth_less: High five, me too. I'm overweight and I want to have a baby, but I want to have a healthy pregnancy, so I'm finally trying to get in shape. I know I'll never be a size 4, I'm OK with that, but it's pretty fucking ridiculous when the only health problem you have is your weight, and it's something you've totally done to yourself.
@ruth_less: Kate Hudson seems to be the go-to example of quick pregnancy weight loss, which sort of bothers me. She's said in interviews that she was working out 3 hours a day to get her figure back, and she was extremely skinny to begin with and very young. But when one of my best friends had a baby last year, she told herself, "If Kate Hudson can lose the weight in 2 weeks [or whatever], then so can I" and then she got pretty depressed when it didn't end up that way. I think it made her post-pregnant body image issues a whole lot worse to be trying to achieve this ridiculous standard.