Or, she was in the middle of turning around and none of this means anything...

Well, he is pretty big. Maybe that's what they meant by "biggest player?"

"Return of the mack/return of the mack..."

Looks like dude has been watching "The Pick-up Artist"

Guess what's still playing over and over in my head:

"877-393-4-4-4-8!!"

Uhhh does the word "jerk" ring a bell??

Either he's a player or blown away that a girl that attractive would talk to him.
He could also be looking at his friends to check out the girl he's talking to.

I'm not taking a dig at him, I'm just saying there's more to it than that.

I like to people watch and people ignore when needed.

Or maybe he was turning around to get his friend's attention so he could introduce the two of them.

Are you sure they didn't mean that in an "of the players, he is by far the biggest" sort of way?

@Macloserboy: Ahaha! I used to drunkenly request that at every bar when I was an undergrad.

@Macloserboy: LOL! Oh my god, flashback.

@lederhosen: HAHAHAHAH

fuck you rapping dragon!

@Macloserboy: He's not a player he just crushes A LOT.

It IS Cosmo.

Looks a little rotund to be a player

I'm pretty sure he just farted and she's walking away while he turns away in shame. Screw these body language readers.

@lederhosen: yes! haha me too! i love that dragon guy that pops out of the water.

Remind me not to go to any bar where my arm positions and/or "vulnerable zones" might wind up being dissected in Cosmo

@lederhosen: dude, mine too!

Doesn't Cosmo know pity when they see it?

@hamburgerhotdog: HA!

You guys are killing me with this cyber mixtape of catchy-ass songs I hated the first time around.

Looks to me like she's saying "good luck getting the bartender's attention waving that Washington around, bro."

today's forecast is partly cosmopolitan with a slight chance of overanalysis

@Macloserboy: "You lied to me, all those times I said that I love you"

thank god cosmo is here to make sense of all of life's mysteries.

Playing at what, exactly? Inconclusive evidence.

Maybe he's just a chubby guy with ADD?

Maybe ...

PIC 1 = HIM: Hi! Whatcha drinking there?
PIC 2 = HER: Well I read this thing on Jezebel about collagen from turtle blood ...
PIC 3 = HIM: Hey, I think I see an old friend over there!

I feel like every guy that hits on me when I go to bars looks like that, WITH the blurred face. Total turn off man.

@lederhosen: Ha ha. This has spawned another ditty for me: "8-6-7-5-3-0-9."

Wait, so turning and facing someone now means that I am into them and have exposed my vunerable neck to them?

@hamburgerhotdog: Ooh, nice one.

@Macloserboy: OMG 90's dancefloor flashback! And now I will have that song stuck in my head when I am trying to sleep tonight.

@militia: Can you imagine the casting call for that commercial:

Wanted: one Latino male for low-budget cable commercial to rap terms and conditions of internet calling plan while wearing a paper mache dragon costume. Must have mad flow, be able to hold breath underwater.

...opened up her three vulnerable zones: neck, belly button and below the belt area...

omg...

so, flashing a guy my breasts doesn't indicate to him that I am interested - since they are not in a vulnerable zone?? Dammit.

@Macloserboy: This song reminds me of the radio station I used to intern at my senior year of college. Not because I was there when it was released, no. I interned at Jamin' 92.5 in Denver and they played exactly 13 songs - none of them new - over and over and over again.

I'm so glad they explained this to me, because if I saw that last picture, I'd think she was LEAVING. Silly me.

my favorite: "He's emphasizing how manly - i.e., attractive - he is."

well, naturally. because ALL women are attracted to tall, brawny, uber-masculine men. all women want the exact same thing in a man. this is why shorter, thin men never get dates, girlfriends, or marry.

I told her "don't talk to strangers, baby don't you talk, don't talk to strangers, you know they'll only use you up".

@lisas: Yeah cuz she looks like she's looking at someone over his shoulder.

Gah, Cosmo is retarded.

@Macloserboy: don't hate the player, hate the lame.

@BeSarcastic: Ni-yeee-yine! Jenny Jenny...

Wait, are we judging this guy based on his weight? Isn't that a Jezebel no-no?

@Sev: Please tell me you listened to 'BCO?

Shoot, maybe someone on that side of him dropped their drink and the sound of shattering glass made him look over.

He didn't mean to be full of himself or rude, but she ain't lookin' and no other dudes, 'cause you know she loved him...

This must have been a bridge and tunnel barspot. Because I don't know many "players" in nyc that drink Budweiser in public. And expect to get laid.

@BAngieB: Now you're talking to me! RICK!

@hamburgerhotdog: Okay, that's the best comment of the day. Period.

@Macloserboy: LOL!
@Sev: didn't that song make enough money for the guy to pay his bail out of prison or something?

but yes, jezebellers - new york sucks. men at new york bars suck harder.

@Macloserboy: I love him so much.

@tellmeagain: Thank you! Like I said earlier, this "No judging based on appearance" counts for fuck all if we only apply it to celebrities.

And for fuck's sake I HATE Cosmo...

@rednrowdy: I think "New York" and "bars in New York" are already pretty much synonymous, at least for the 20-55 demographic -- which means plenty of bars where nobody particularly sucks. Unless you're picky about bad sartorial choices, I guess.

Um no joking, I believe I know this dude and hopefully the "seriously" comment doesn't refer to his weight because I would hate for Jezebel to be all HYPOCRITICAL.

There is nothing I detest more than body language and handwriting analysis. Who are these analysts and what do they do with themselves between magazine jobs?

You're all fucking hilarious. OMG HE'S A FAT GUY SO CLEARLY NO ONE FINDS HIM ATTRACTIVE OR WOULD WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM. Seriously, just fucking hilarious, y'all.

@katekate: Do not yell at us. It's not like everyone of us said something about his weight. I didn't look closely enough to notice.