Jezebel
We are not going to beat around the, uh, pubes: we did not really dive into a piece on "5 Female Conservative Bloggers" expecting to find new role models/heroines for Jezebel readers to admire/encourage/etc.. But HOLY SHIT, how did we never hear of Pamela Geller? Pamela's blog is called Atlas Shrugs. She has an MBA. "I'm not a feminist, I'm an anti-feminist," she tells Right Wing News."That whole movement...is rooted in Marxist-Leninist propaganda." Today's post is basically about how Barack Obama is the tool of Colombian paramilitary drug cartels, Hugo Chavez and Al Qaeda. (Wait, actually, every post is about that.) But her big claim to internet fame came when she posted a video blog entry while wearing a bikini back in the summer of '06. See, she was in Israel, and she felt it was important to illustrate the fact that although the scrappy little underfunded self-defense outfit of Israel was in the throes of a bloody war with a colossal superhuman enemy no mortal thought they could ever beat, she wasn't yet being forced to don a burka. "They haven't declared Sharia law yet!" she says. Oh, please go watch this. Her accent is SO PRICELESS.
Apparently that turned her into some sort of conservative sex symbol. PLEASE ALLAH GRANT THIS WOMAN A REALITY SHOW NOW. In fact, put them all in the middle of Gaza and take away their passports and make them try to find food and cooking oil without crossing the border back into Israel. Oh look! She's friends with Coulter. Coulter can come! And Amanda Hasselbeck 2.0 Carpenter, you too. You think we missed your astute query over at Glamocracy the other day as to whether Mike Huckabee had ever witnessed a miracle? Nah, we just didn't get to it. You know, you always forget to pray to God until the moment comes that you need him to intervene and perform a miracle. Well God, that time is NOW. Get Divello on this shit. He's got some atoning to do.
Blogging While Female [RightWingNews]
Bikini Vlog [Atlas Shrugs]
Comments
"conservative sex symbol" is an oxymoron.
Is this the part where I come out as an Ayn Rand-loving lesbian feminazi bonerkiller?
Wait... if she abhors everything feminism stands for shouldn't she be donning a burkha?
She's the one who had a graphic of herself as Super Girl on her blog, no? I'm trying to remember why I heard of her before.
the fact that this woman, ann coulter and hasselbeck are right wing sex symbols tells you everything you need to know about right wing sex.
For some reason, this whole thing isn't really computing right now. Hmmmmm.
Wait, so she thought ISRAEL was in danger of instituting Sharia law? The JEWISH nation-state?
@Serolf Divad: david, you seek logic where none may be found.
@charlotte corday: I don't need to know a damn thing about right wing sex.
¡Quémalas!
@charlotte corday: oooh touche
@Serolf Divad: There are a few things wrong with that question, but I don't have time to explain them to you.
@charlotte corday: They fetishize whippets. Right?
she's like a hot linda richman.
I kind of feel like I feel when I see a huge, disgusting bug scuttle under my refrigerator. Ew.
@funnyface: Yeaaaaah, I didn't quite get that, too.
@blackbirdfly: indeed. until they make brain bleach, i'm avoiding it too. though, i'm certain my suggestion to start a jezzie-esque bdsm dungeon on cap hill, dc would work nicely.
after all, gary condit (he of the chandra levy murder fame), amongst others, were into it, big time.
@Skinny Bone Jones: Are you my lesbian twin?
"Western civilization hangs in the balance. This blog is part of the solution, the cure..." Um, WHAT? Over-inflated sense of self-importance much? NO blog is a cure for anything except productivity.
I don't get why she's great. I am missing something. Also the Eva Mendes post made me want strawberry ice cream.
oh man... that is the best thing I've ever watched.
She should do her reality show from inside a dunking tank.
Picture this: Coulter, Geller, and Hasselbrat catfighting over Rush Limbaugh's rotten fat bones. Enter Mrs. McCain. Motor oil, fake pearls, and gin splatter EVERYWHERE. It's fear and loathing in the beltway, bitches, Rand's ghost looking down in bemusement!
@charlotte corday:I thought the gay sex scandals told us everything we need to know about right wing sex.
I love women who claim to hate feminism when their entire career would never have been without it. Gotta love the self-hate in those conservative ladies.
@charlotte corday: If I had a peen, and said imaginary peen was in the presence of Ann Coulter, it would break the land speed record trying to crawl back up inside me to hide.
Three words for this anti-feminist:
Iron. My. Shirt.
Seriously, what is it with these [expletive]s that profess women's place in the universe, but are not home ironing doilies and thinking up new ways to please their man via innovative ways to make meat loaf?
Someone should tell her most right wing sex takes place in airport bathrooms.
Okay...doesn't she understand that she is supporting a world where she CAN'T get her MBA and wear a bikini in public and such as?
What is she doing with Bloomberg? Didn't know his tastes ran that way.
This is why I hate Ayn Rand. Well, also because of the whole shit-writer-with-a-shit-ideology thing. Influencing tons and tons of folks to be self-centered asshats. Ug.
@BiscuitDoughJones: God, and the design is TERRIBLE.
If she's anti-feminist, I suggest we use our feminist ability to vote/exercise freedoms to lobby her advertisers/employers to pay her less than a man for the same work! Also take away her voting rights. Jeebus.
@charlotte corday: Conservative public-figure sex is so much more varied and diverse than that! So many things we've been treated to -- instant-message flirting with teenage boys, gay bathroom pickups, serial divorce, doing meth with rent boys, and who can forget Bill O'Reilly asking to rub falafel on people's tits. Don't underestimate the right-wing kink.
@virginiawoolf: hmm, i might have to refer you to the baptist minister who was recently found dead at his home from a "mishap"
from the coroner's report via smoking gun:
The decedent is clothed in a diving wet suit, a face mask which has a single vent for breathing, a rubberized head mask having an opening for the mouth and eyes, a second rubberized suit with suspenders, rubberized male underwear, hands and feet have diving gloves and slippers. There are numerous straps and cords restraining the decedent. There is a leather belt about the midriff. There is a series of ligatures extending from the hands to the feet. The hands are bound behind the back. The feet are tied to the hands. There are nylon ligatures holding these in place with leather straps about the wrists and ankles. There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head and surrounding the lower neck. There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom.
remember kids, always use a condom!
@WideStanceRomancer: I think that should be, "Iron my shirt, BITCH."
@virginiawoolf: silly rabbit, there are no gays in th republican party!
@the.bleach:
Thank you, Pierre de Fermat.
What.An.Asshole.
It's so funny and pathetic and utterly typical that she also sucks at the teat of Ayn Rand.
@charlotte corday: It's deeply disturbing, yet funny for all the wrong reasons?
I dare this bitch to stand up and show me her thighs.
Is it me or does the writing on that blog look like it was spat out of a bad language translation program? The wording and syntax make no sense at all. Ironically, I'm sure if I could stomach spending enough time in there I would find posts about how the whole world should learn English...
@zivah: I don't think people who honestly believe a right-wing idealogy need that much inspiration to be self-absorbed. Ayn Rand does suck really hard, though.
Why do self proclaimed Con sex "symbols" seem to have big adams apples?
@Serolf Divad: good answer!!!!!
@Hamsterpants: or you might just want to compare yr hypothetical peen to hers.
Well, as my dad would say, it looks like our new bikini blogger friend is "treading water" for a sugar daddy.