Potentially sad news: the National Enquirer is reporting that Patrick Swayze has an insidious form of cancer and has five weeks to live. If it's true, how awful. If it's not, WTF Enquirer. In possibly bad timing, Best Week Ever has The Top 20 Stupid Faces Made By Patrick Swayze in Ghost. But you know, laughter can be the best medicine! • Oooh, are Parker Posey and Keanu Reeves a new couple? He doesn't really seem like her type but they'd look pretty cute together. • Zach Braff and Shiri Appleby allegedly broke up because the notoriously caddish Braff isn't ready to settle down. We're betting she has at least a few Crap Emails From A Dude lying around as the result of this failed union. [Perez, BWE, Dlisted , Just Jared]

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