Canned Career Columnist: "Take That Career Drive And Direct It Toward Mating!"

Last we heard from Penelope Trunk, she was a Yahoo! Finance career columnist in the midst of being unceremoniously sacked for the women's ghetto of the company's "Lifestyle" channels. We were deeply saddened, as we often agreed with her advice, like the time she said that if you want a better job, "Don't work hard! Work out!". Well, THANK GOD PRINT ISN'T DEAD. Because Penelope has resurfaced in the pages of the Boston Globe with some urgent advice for her old "Brazen Careerist" followers: freeze your eggs, get them tested for "premature aging" and: "If you are past your early twenties, and you're single and want to have children,you need to find a partner now. Take that career drive and direct it toward mating - your ovaries will not last longer than your career." Oh, Penelope. Spoken like the scorned woman you... are! But here's the thing.

Working for a man is probably the only thing less fun than working for The Man. Both are probably going to end badly. But look: You're still trying, penning inflammatory columns to try and ramp up the Google Analytics score so you can get back into the career columnist game that just months ago left you abandoned and alone. Glad to see you've still got all that audacious hope! But here's the reality: look around. How many people do you really expect to die fully satisfied with their lives? One? Three? Now, what about the ones who are freezing their eggs. Do they probably have the worst odds of all of them? Yeah, like we discussed last week, a recession is coming. Everyone just needs to lower their standards. Life is pain! XOM

Want To Have A Baby? Now's The Time [Boston Globe]
Earlier: Want A Better Job? Stop Working Right Now And Get Your Nails Did