We've given a lot of grief to Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger for being abrasive, judgmental, and generally just gross for prioritizing looks and money when setting up couples on her reality show. But she was on Tyra yesterday and managed to dole out some practical advice on dating to single women who've been unlucky in love. When she's not being ridiculously shallow, she can actually be sage! Clip above.
Earlier: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Shallow Millionaire Matchmaker









We've given 

Comments
The best moment of this show was when she was lecturing some millionaire about what he needed to change, and he said, "Or I could just be myself and find a girl who likes me." The man had a point.
@Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine:
Yes, but wouldn't he have done that already before paying Patti a wad of dough?
i've been suckered into watching her show (thanks for showing reruns when i'm getting ready for work, bravo!); half of the time i'm yelling at patti and half of the time i'm agreeing with her.
(why i'm always late to work)
Decent advice, but ugh I hate people who congratulate virgins. Having sex, not having sex, neither of these have inherent value in them.
I want someone to start clapping for me when I tell them I've fucked eight guys. Good for you, Redfem! I am so proud of you for hanging on like that!
"When she's not being ridiculously shallow, she can actually be sage!" -- I think her whole schtick is sage advice for shallow people, right? How to Find a Successful Relationship That Meets Your Shallow Requirements. Which isn't the worst role in the world.
Confession: I watched the Millionaire Matchmaker marathon last night for WAY too long. Even postponing sex for it. What is wrong with me?
OK, I'm going to play devil's advo here and say that while she does prioritize looks and money, so, too, do her clients. Girl is in it to win it, and meals come from money, yes?
I couldn't do it, and yeah, it bugs, but she's honest about what the guys are lookin' for.
"Every man has a strong woman behind him?" If he falls down and injures himself, she can just carry him the rest of the way.
She probably knows that her clients are stupid and shallow, but hell, a job's a job.
While it is bitchery that she makes all her women have long hair, I will say that most of the dudes I have "dated" LOVE long hair. What men DON'T like? Extensions. They freak dudes out.
@Sugarless: True. Though he was the one who was "inseparable" from his "best friend." Who knows why they went on, though there's a disclaimer at the end that says, if the dudes agree to be on TV, they get services for free, so maybe for the hell of it.
@TaraIncognita:
Correction/amendment: What those guys are in it for
@redfem: I consider that very restrained, and tip my invisible hat.
@redfem: Adult virgins make me very uncomfortable. I certainly don't applaud, I recoil in fear.
I know this is wrong and weird, but I just can't help it.
I still think this woman is really a man, or just had really unfortunate plastic surgery...
@Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine: "Being himself" wasn't working too well, was it? These men JOIN Patti's service and then when she actually does her job, they get all pissy and offended.
The more I watch this show, the more I like Patti. She only prioritizes looks because that's what her clients ask for. I wouldn't feel comfortable going along with that, but it's not like she decided upon the standards herself.
@redfem: HEAR HEAR.
Fuck them and their narrow-mindedness. I don't think being slutty makes you a bad person. Hell, I lost track of the number of guys that I've done somewhere around 80, and I don't feel like it makes me less of a person!
@tailfeather: Yeah, if you only knew she's only 12. (Joking!)
::hugs to redfem::
has anyone here used a matchmaker? or are they just for rich folk? I need to meet some new people and the online thing kind of scares me.
Be his friend first?? Why, so you can sit around and listen to him complain about all the women he's dating that aren't you? I suppose you could always hope for a Vanessa Williams Save the Best For Last moment, but I'm pretty sure that crap only happens in songs and ChicLit.
/cynacism
@Jezebabe: I still think this woman is really a man, or just had really unfortunate plastic surgery...
C'mon, now...
@Jezebabe: Fuck off.
her advice is wack. the 'when harry met sally' rule is true - you can't pick a guy and say "i'm gonna be your friend" just like that.
it also depends on what the guy's ambition is. ambition to be a rock star and/or sleep with every hot girl to make up for his nerdy past is not the right ambition.
Saving yourself is stupid. Sex is no big goddamn deal. "Oxytocin bonded" MY ASS. Let's not make sex out to be more than it really is, because that's a one-way train to Letdown City.
@TaraIncognita: Yeah, exactly: it's no surprise that she deals with a bunch of millionaire software geeks! She's absolutely right that a lot of them get rich and dream of some revision of high school where the get the cheerleader* -- and the women she's dealing with are Women Who Want to Marry Millionaires, for god's sake. She's incredibly bothersome, but her standards pretty much come with the job description.
*This is a habit of true-blue guy geeks that I've never entirely understood; they're like the only misfit group that still dreams of winding up one of the popular kids.
I DON'T CARE WHAT Y'ALL SAY I LIKE HER.
The vapid part is her giving these dudes what they want, which is what they pay her to do. And the girls aren't even Russian supermodels, they're just normal, cute girls next door type. If the dudes wanted to meet girls who weren't cute I don't think they'd have to pay to do it.
She also whips them into fucking shape and gives them harsh doses of reality.
She may not wear kid gloves during her beatings but the lady has a point. She's good at what she does.
@redfem:*sound of clapping* Woo! 8 Guys!
@tailfeather: Give it time. I just turned 24. Ima slut this town up.
@LoveNoelG: Haha, me too. Half the ones I know are christian self-hating gays.
@TaraIncognita: LOL - yup, kinda. See above.
@TaraIncognita: Point. I'd cracked 8 by 17. I'm worried for my Future Genius Children in case whorishness is hereditary. I guess they'd be MY little sluts, though. Awww.
@Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine: Yeah but if it was that easy, he would of. Most of the guys on the show have some serious flaw or road block stopping them from dating anyone seriously.
I actually like her. She's kind of crazy, but aren't we all in some way? The men on her show are ridiculous: the two best friends who won't go on dates without one another, the guy who wanted a down to earth girl but dates the 22 year old actress, the guy with the stripper pole in the middle of his house (although it was funny when he danced on it in front of his date). These guys can't meet women and she tells them why and helps them fix whatever the problem is.
I Love the MM, but I wouldn't want to date slash marry any of those knobs in a trillion years. I think Patti does her job very well, and I espesh appreciate it when she gives them EXACTLY what they ask for, eg 25-year-old model types, and the girls think the guys are old and creepy.
@jezebellian: Online stuff isn't that bad, you should try putting a profile up on one of the free ones and just see who responds. 90% of them are creepy, but 10% are super nice, and those are almost equal to the odds anywhere.
@Gangee: Actually, she's saying these girls should be friends with guys they AREN'T interested in, just as practice for being around guys they ARE.
No word on whether they'll bring her back for a show with a bunch of confused guys: "WTF, these girls started hanging out with us all the time and suggesting we go to Chelsea Piers and stuff, but then they weren't interested in us at all!"
@CorporateTool: Awwww, thanks! What kind of honoraries do we get for blow jobs, hand jobs, letting them come on your boobs? Extra points for getting it stuck in your hair.
Sartastic totes wins the gold at 80+, though. Yay Sartastic!
I watch this show as well and I don't mind her. What it does do is confirm the thought that no half way intelligent person should move to Los Angeles single and believe they will find true love.
@Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine: I didn't realize they might have gotten her service for free.
I thought they were way too attached to each other.
@tailfeather: @redfem:
I always think those who are more "sexually expressive" are the fun ones. Just sayin'.
What was it Billy Joel sang? He'd rather laugh with the sinners? Yeah, that sounds about right.
@Gangee: I thought she meant that having a guy as a a good friend will help you be more comfortable around men in general and thus help you find someone else to date. Or at least I hope that's what she meant, because I agree with you that the friend path is not usually conducive to a great love story.
@hamburgerhotdog: I admit it - she's grown on me.
I totes would have dated the short (5'6") guy.
@Artful Slinger: Yeah. I like Patti enough, and I really like the two women on her staff, but every episode makes me more and more averse to L.A.
@redfem: ::curtsy::
@mysterygirl: Totally.
I agree with her. My best, longest-lasting relationships were ones where I got to know the guy as a friend first before taking things to a romantic place. You learn a lot about someone as a friend and it gives you more perspective and clarity as to how they'll act towards lovers.
@SarahMC: Okay, but what happens after a few dates or when they get serious and the facade comes down? Unless people really want to change, the shallow surface changes they make won't stick. I mean, you can put a blazer on someone, but you can't make them a good person.
NB: Not that I think the dude was blameless. But I do wonder about Ms. Stanger's methods.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Agreed. I slept with my boyfriend on the first date (actually before the first date), and we've been together for three years. What I can't understand is how you know you really want to spend a ton of time with someone if you haven't had sex.
@leMaldeTete: What?! Lady, it's time for an intervention.
@mysterygirl: the friend path is not usually conducive to a great love story Well, at least now I know why I haven't had a great love yet... Does having only like 2 friends in this city mean I will soon meet the love of my life, then?
I found a guy with ambition who was my best friend - he just broke up with me after 5 years.