Jezebel
An Israeli religious scholar and professor of cognitive psychology is advancing the thesis that the Ten Commandments, the moral foundation of the religious faith that have guided billions and billions of people for thousands of years, were revealed that fateful night on Mt. Sinai because Moses was high. On what? (Wouldn't it have been awesome if it were Ecstasy? wouldn't that make for a great sequel to those hilarious "Religions of the World" T-shirts? Or better yet, one of those signs in bar bathrooms with like the "Zen guide to life" or whatever? I never remember the valuable things I learn from the posters in bar bathrooms. Except the thing about how you "forget 80% of what you learn every day." Anyway.) Anyway! Sooooo, Moses was high. The scholar, Benny Shanon, seems to think he experienced something like his own experiences on ayahuasca, the hallucinogenic brew indigenous to the Amazon beloved by such luminaries as Johnson & Johnson heiress Libet Johnson.
I am wont to believe him, having read the bestselling works of "Economic Hit Man" John Perkins, who clearly thought up his thesis of the world under the influence of ayahuasca. But what does it all mean?
That the Burning Bush was a hallucination, too? (Yes.) That religion is a fraud? (Duh!) That the moral codes we take for granted, chalking up to an amorphous mix of socialization and/or evolutionary biology and/or something resembling an innate human conscience was concocted under the influence of hallucinogens? THAT RELIGION IS LITERALLY THE OPIATE OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO POOR FOR ACTUAL OPIATES???? Why yes! I mean, yeah yeah mood-altering substances bear responsibility for much of the world's bar violence/opportunistic adultery/convenience store theft. But, don't all the truly bad things happen at the hands of sober people and/or people newly off their meds? Yes they do. Is it to early for a drink? No it is not.
Comments
Have you ever read The Bible...on weed!?!
this is the most religion has made sense.
But the ten commandments remain a very practical set of rules, no?
That's not my jimson weed, officer. It's God's. I'm just keeping it for him.
So the foundation on which society has structured itself was fabricated during a drug trip. Don't you just love humanity?
"What would Moses do?"
It appears he'd get high, sit on a mountain, fantasize about burning bushes (heh heh) then get all bitchy when the ordinary folks down below had some fun making jewelry and pretty statues. Typical douchey dominator.
Don't tell that to my bible-beating ex-neighbors...no sense of humor or sensible reasoning to be found with any of them.
I shall not covet my neighbor's ox.
Total rip-off of Hammurabi, dude
yes, only once though. ironically enough, it was while i was smoking a joint rolled from the 23rd psalm (I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me) that I had torn from the spare Bible in the drawer of a room i was boarding in.... i'm going to hell.
@sequined: As much as any other broad, general moral code makes sense, sure. Well, leaving out the "Thou shalt have no other god before me" one. I think any practical set of rules would have to include in the broadest sense don't kill, don't steal, don't be such an envious bitch, etc...Of course, the problem with any set of set-in-stone rules is that there is no room for any sort of interpretation.
I've figured Jesus was a pot smoker for a long time. "Man, if everybody would just, y'know, like LOOOOOVE one another, it would be...man, it would be so great!!!"
Of course he was "high"... he was on top of a mountain, wasn't he?!? Sheesh... lack of oxygen people. Besides, was anyone actually smoking weed in Biblical times? Mind you, it might not explain the Ten Commandments, but that parting of the Red Sea... somebody was definitely smoking something!
@ineffable.me: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's stash.
I was reading something, SOMEWHERE, about this kind of radical idea. It went something like this: up until a certain point in human evolution, we couldn't distinguish the voices in our head from like, actual voices. Which supposedly is why everyone in the Old Testament is constantly hearing from God.
In the last few thousand years, the theory goes, we evolved the ability in our brains to tell the difference between the voices in our head and actual voices.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I didn't believe it, but it was such an interesting idea.
@aquacombatgurl: I thought I was the only one who did that??!?! Awesommmmme.
@aquacombatgurl: We've all thought about it in desperate moments.
What it means is that God loves us and approves of us smoking a bowl. aw yeah.
So who plays Moses in the remake? Cheech, or Chong?
Just, duh.
@Scoregasm: Not to mention, none of those rules are unique to Christianity/Judaism. The bible rips off a shit-ton of philosophers, religions & 'moral codes' like "The Golden Rule."
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before weed.
2. If it don't look like weed, smell like weed, smoke like weed, don't use it: it ain't weed
3. Don't bother me on Saturday, I'll be smoking up.
4. Honor your elders: they always have the best weed...
This could go under "No Shit Studies" Wouldn't you have to be high to talk to God, chisel what he said into stone, and then make everyone live by said rules? Not saying that it diminishes their meaning(some of those Commandments are pretty good.) Also, a lot of religions use drugs in order to have a spiritual experience (Native American religions, for example) so the possibility of Moses lighting one up isn't that much of a stretch.
(I give you these 15-- 10! 10 Commandments!)
@Macloserboy: im going to now.
Sigh. Anyone read the article? There is no historical evidence connecting the character of Moses to any drugs. In fact, there's not much historical evidence about the character of Moses, period, except for the Bible. This highly scientific connection was made like this, "Hey, there were drugs in ancient Hebrew culture. AND, Moses lived in ancient Hebrew culture. Maybe he was on drugs!" Publish the study, and it's sensational enough that it spreads instantly, everyone picks it up, jillions of page views, advertisers are happy, money in the bank for everyone. It seems kind of mean to smear the foundation of 3 of the world's largest religions, based on really trite evidence, for a little publicity. Anyone else with me on this?
@tscheese: I've never heard that, but it's an interesting theory.
Does anyone else watch Big Love? Just last night, I watched the episode where Albie tries to channel his ailing father through his hat. I couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it - and yet the congretation was eating it up. And no, Albie didn't appear to be high, although I've always suspected that he's inbred and slightly touched.
Leviticus makes so much more sense now. Who else but a paranoid bunch of stoners would fear the evils of a poly-cotton blend?
@NefariousNewt: This is PURE SNOW! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?!
@tscheese: Oh, duh! This is it: Bicameralism! Julian Jaynes first pioneered the idea in the 1970s.
From the Wikipedia:
Jaynes argued that the bicameral individual was guided by mental commands believed to be issued by external "gods"-the commands which were so often recorded in ancient myths, legends and historical accounts; these commands were however emanating from individuals' own minds.
So like, Jaynes is sayin' that the ancients were all NUTS. Which is why they supposedly heard God all the time.
I don't buy it. I'd rather imagine Moses toking up.
@ineffable.me: I'm not sure if it counts as "coveting"... I mean, "covet" is such a vague word. I mean, I like my neighbor's ox, don't get me wrong, and I think if I save up my beans I too can own one... or at least afford the financing. Still, even if I have my own, my neighbor, it must be said, has a pretty nice ox. I mean, who wouldn't covet it? You'd have to be crazy not to, right? Doesn't mean I'm going to rip off his ox, now does it? I mean -- where would I keep it?
I can't say anything nice here, so...
They're pretty concrete injunctions - I can't believe someone who is high would come up with, Don't kill, don't steal, etc., instead of, Respect each other, honor each other, etc. The Old Testament God was a real SOB, a true reflection of our worst selves; the rules Moses came up with were just minimal restraints on our worst selves.
I love the movie "The Ten Commandments" with all my heart. It's cheesy and stars Charlton Heston, but I have to watch it every year when it comes on TV at Easter. And I always get all turned on watching Yul Brenner walk around half-naked as the pharaoh. And then I feel all weird cause I know he's dead and it's supposed to be a religious movie and yet, I'm turned on. Aren't you supposed to be Catholic to feel Catholic guilt? Oh, you are a mighty God!
@Lady Skittlehattington: You, Hunter S. Thompson's ghost, and I have some traffic laws to break.
my friend does ayahuasca for enlightenment purposes in controlled settings. Sounds intense.
@aquacombatgurl: I feel less bad about my smoking of a Bible page because I tore out a page of the glossary in my study bible from high school. Makes a decent paper if you really have no other option... And I'm also going to hell. In a handbag though.
ayahuasca is not like smoking a bowl, at all. From what I hear, it is intense and can be terrifying. It doesn't make you giggle and think you can write good poetry.
I'm in the middle of Lamb by Christopher Moore (thanks to those who suggested it) and so all my biblical thoughts at the moment come from Biff. I've also decided to start using the world harlot more.
@lolly71: Watching Jesus Christ Superstar at my Lutheran high school pretty much convinced me of that. Not sure what the teachers were going for with that one.
And Revelations reads like a bad acid trip.
@DEARBLONDDIARY: man I could never do that. I get bad trips when I smoke pot. NO WAY I could do anything halucinegenic. In theory I'd like to try, but never ever.
But was the burning bush bright with sister fire?
Okay, I'll stop now.
@BeckyIva: Wah, wah, wah. People have been "smearing" these religions as long as they've been around. Hell, Christian people I know thought that the DaVinci Code was a direct attack on their beliefs, instead of just another (fictional, duh) way of looking at things. Who the fuck cares, let people theorize all they want, at least people are out there THINKING about things instead of accepting all the tripe that's being fed to them without question.
@timbnyc44: Yeah, when I'm high all I can come up with are things like "hey, y'all! Let's make a homemade Ouija board! It'll be awesome."
@blondegrlz: eeee!!!! Christopher Moore= one of my fav authors. Lamb= best book ever!
@NefariousNewt: There's apparently a lot of debate about how strictly to interpret "covet."
@sequined: True.
I'm just staying out of this whole conversation. I like weed, I think that basic tenets of the Ten Commandments are good ones, I'm OUT.
Anybody ever notice that the 10 commandments ignore rape?