Eating Disorders Can Turn You Into An Alcoholic. Is That So Bad?S

Why will an anorexic tormented by the prospect of eating a single grape gladly knock back a few glasses of wine? The New York Times pondered the dilemma of "drunkorexia" this weekend and came up generally with the answer: because it makes you drunk, duh, and drunkenness cures everything, including most of the brain activity responsible for most humans' general malaise. I would also add that wine tastes a lot better than grapes, or indeed, most foods, or that, in fact, most alcoholic beverages taste better than most foods, which is why beer forms the foundation of the food pyramid I established when I was masterminding the "Jezebel Diet." Then there is the fact that if you are one of those people who feels fat all the time, the alcohol kind of solves that problem, and the fact that it can jump-start a faulty upchuck engine, if you're into that.

So anyway, it seems a lot of women seem to be coping with their eating disorders by replacing them with an alcohol dependency problem. Given all the problems celebrity eating disorders into which seem to evolve — ahem, Amy, Lindsay, Anna Nicole, etc. — I would say this is not such a terrible thing. Eventually they'll all recognize that the starve-drink-purge-large brunch-Gatorade-coffee-cigarette-nap cycle isn't really helping them lose weight so much as it's killing their productivity, and they will start ordering food again like a normal person, at which point they will realize their stomachs are incapable of breaking down anything without the assistance of alcohol.

Yes I am talking about myself. Anyway, this is why I advocate beer, because it kills the fewest brain cells and we need all the brains we can get to avoid going down that whole "eating disorders" road again.

Starving Themselves, Cocktail In Hand [NY Times]
Earlier: If You Drink Six Beers For Dinner, Are You 'Drunkorexic'?