• The official Gossip Girl blog declared Jezebel as heroine Serena van der Woodsen's special friend.
  
• 35% of you would not ask a man to marry you! 40% say you wouldn't rule it out, but it's not at the top of your to-do list. Only 15% would ask in the future, and 9% already did. Fascinating!
  
• Who cares about marriage?! We made chocolate penises!
  
• We liveblogged the snoozy Oscars and declared fishy to be fabulous when it comes to red carpet fashion.
  
• We snooped with Harriet M. Welsch.

• We learned that 74% of women in their 30s are very or extremely willing to marry for money, and that Lindsay Lohan wears a diamond-encrusted cross.
• We discovered that Bret Michaels and George Bush have a lot in common. No word on how George Michael fits into the military industrial equation.
• We giggled at black hairstyles from back in the day. Jheri curl!
• We did not take dumps in front of dudes.
• But we did flush our tampons down their toilets.
• So go get your seven-year-old a a mani-pedi and enjoy your freedom, you fucking dykes!

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