Jezebel
I had my first-ever manicure at age 19, using a gift certificate given to me by the woman I had been interning for that summer as a thank you for my work. The whole process made me feel nervous and uncomfortable: some stranger pouring over my hands, studying them, holding them, painting them. I had made it all the way through high school and my first year of college with no deeper knowledge about "beauty" than whatever I was able to discern by reading what came with the giveaways I got with my Clinique face soap and toner. (I had a lot of that bronze lipstick, suffice it to say.) And I think I was lucky: Cosmetics companies and spas are making greater and greater efforts, reports the NY Times, to convince young children and their parents that they cannot live their lives without regular manicures, pedicures, cosmetics and, sometimes, full-out makeovers. Six to nine-year olds are, apparently, the latest demographic that the beauty industry is trying to entrap.
What to do with your 3-year old for her birthday? Take her and 10 of her closest friends for pedicures and virgin daiquiris. Or better yet: Pack the kiddies all up and ship them off to Club Libby Lu for a makeover party, where make-up tips are dispensed and wigs can be donned so that your still-developing child can see herself as she might someday (ought?) to be. And yet, as the Times observes, if a toddler is having a "makeover," what exactly is there to makeover? These children aren't even old enough to read: Are they old enough to realize that their current "look" is no good and needs major, professional help?
Says Queen Bees & Wannabes author Rosalind Wiseman:
Mothers and fathers do really crazy things with the best of intentions. I don't care how it's couched, if you're permitting this with your daughter, you are hyper-sexualizing her. It's one thing to have them play around with makeup at home within the bubble of the family. But once it shifts to another context, you are taking away the play and creating a consumer, and frankly, you run the risk of having one more person who feels she's not good enough if she's not buying the stuff.I couldn't have said it better myself.
Comments
HUH? What.The.FUCK? Let kids play for crying out loud!! There's enough time to be a grown up.
i was so mad at my mom when she wouldnt let me go tanning with my friends in highschool... looking back now i am SOO thankful!
totally not salutary. kids need to be kids. i'm thankful my parents let me be a kid and not some faux adult that's whiny and a douche.
Bleh. The only exposure to make-up that kids that age should have is when they break into mom's make-up bag and go nuts rubbing red lipstick all over their cheeks.
Sweet Merciful crap!
im still waiting for my first manicure... i dont think it'll happen anytime soon.
only makeup that should be near little girls is tinkerbell. do they still make that stuff? the nail polish peels right off!
Let children be children for fuck's sake!
What happened to the time-honored tradition of sneaking into your mom's makeup stash, painting yourself in blue eyeshadow, and putting on her too-big high heels before she found you and made you wash it all off?
I blame the parents who pay for shit like spa days for elementary school girls. Hell, I wouldn't even brush my hair voluntarily until I was 11.
This is sick. Won't somebody please think of the children?
Or won't the "beauty" industry please NOT?
I'm one of few who really dislikes massages, manicures, pedicures and even haircuts. I just don't like being touched by stranger. Is that weird? My friends think so, but hey, I chalk it up to less money spent!
@AnnieGetYourFun: yeah and moms makeup case. i forgot to add that.
I had my first manicure in YEARS this weekend and it was pretty awesome. I keep my nails really short and had her put clear nail polish on, but omg... My hands looked so much prettier.
I dunno, I think it can be a fun thing to do. Why can't young girls get pampered? As long as they aren't told they MUST do it, but rather that they can if they want, I don't see the problem.
@ineffable.me: I loved the peeling nail polish! And the "lipstick" that was essentially cherry chapstick.
seriously. theres no way in Hell my five year old neice would sit thought a pedicure/manacure.
its sick what people do to thier kids.
@flackette: my family still makes fun of me cause i never brushed my hair when i wasa little girl. now they see me and theyre all, heeeey did you brush your hair?
@AnnieGetYourFun: I totally got caught once, locked up in the bathroom with Mom's blue eyeshadow ALL OVER MY FACE. It took a long time for me to live that one down.
Yes, I totally agree with that quote. I don't find it "odd" that little girls want to play with make-up and jewlery as a means of expression and creativity. What sucks is that, in America someone will always figure out how to make a buck off of that. Leave kids alone!
bravo, Rosalind Wiseman, bravo.
I just had a conversation with my hair stylist about this the other day. I asked how young mothers brought their daughters in for highlights. Thankfully, he said teens.
Girls become hellions once they hit 13. You might as well let them be kids while they're......kids.
Ridiculous. There are commercials out there today urging kids to go out and play. Yesterday, I saw a seven year old carrying a $200 Coach purse. Some parents need to be slapped.
My little sister LOVES Libby Lu. All the girls go there for their birthday parties.
@crushdmb: A family friend of ours took her 12YO daughter and 5 friends and did manicures and haircuts and the like, but I think that 12 is V. different than, uh, *three*. Also, she's a beautician, so... yeah.
I hate, hate, hate, HATE libby lu.
I've been hearing about this trend for a while. I think it has a lot to do with our lack of bonding experiences for mothers and daughters that AREN'T all about consumerism. Dads and sons get the sterotypical "play ball" bonding, while moms and daughters get...cooking? shopping?
I mean, i think it's wrong for young girls to get manicures and pedicures (plus, um dangerous? I get scared when i get pedicures of whether it's clean or not, would not expose a 6 year old to it) but I can see how it could become an activity that mothers would find fun to do with their daughters.
@ccchild: Sure, they play with it. But take it out of Mom's bathroom and into the salon, and suddenly it's all about being a consumer. When I was a tyke my mom would paint my toes light pink for me. But she definitely would not have taken me to a pricey salon to have it done while drinking virgin Cosmos. That's just making kids adult-like too soon.
@helladesigner: I don't get my nails done. Massages can be nice, and I do get my hair done.
But, I don't think you're weird :-) At least you have more cash to spend on clothes. Or books. Or wine.
Playing dress-up = healthy
Getting a makeover? Not so much.
Speaking of dress-up, my mom had disco outfits and go-go boots. It totally ruled.
my nieces have been getting tips since they were 8 and 9. pisses me off...but then again, my sister treats them like they are her friends or baby dolls...the older one was painting her nails at 3...by herself.
It is all fun good for special occasions. but now at 13 the older one tells her mother that she doesnt want to chip her polish so she wont wash a dish/clean...I tell her that she should wash the dishes so i dont mess up my pedi by kicking her a$$...
P.S. I've never had a manicure and did not get a pedicure until I was like 22.
@inkytwist: 12 is ok. At 12 I started caring about hair and appearance. But 3? 7? Let 'em go play with Legos and dolls.
@Kittenish: Seriously.
Sometimes it sucks to be a grown up and shit like manicures and pedicures are a small compensation. So is being able to eat dessert first. Sometimes being a kid sucks too, but manicures are not a compensation for childhood suckage. Ice cream, Care Bears, and unconditional love is the cure for that.
Hey, by the way, if you read page 2 of that article, Jezebel.com is quoted!
Of all the shit I would have killed for as a child, I'm glad my parents didn't give into the ear piercing (seriously), manicures, makeup etc.
Now, I would pay lots and lots of money to avoid all the things I was dying for as a kid.
When I wanted a manicure at 7, my mom told me I had to wait until I was 13. I love you mom.
I have never had a manicure or a pedicure.
Um, a three year old will be happy with a plastic tiara, cake, and a ball-in-a-cup.
@helladesigner: I also hate it. It's not so much having strangers touch me, it's having to make awkward conversation with them.
My parents wouldn't let me wear make-up outside of the house until I was an older teenager and I was really mad about it. Now I think they were right.
Sidenote to the Times article: I saw Ice-T and his wife at a Dashing Diva once.
I love makeup. Love. It. But I didn't touch the shit as a kid, except the raunchy stuff you have to use in theater (OMG, theater nerd here!). So to me, makeup was always more about artistic stuff than, "OMG, I can't leave the house unless I put my face on. I need to be pampered, I'm a princess!" Whatever.
Beauty standards + little children = No.
@AnnieGetYourFun: My boss just told me about her 3-year-old daughter, who, somehow, got up in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, and raided her makeup drawer. She not only covered her ENTIRE face in red lipstick but painted the bathroom tiles with nail polish, broke each and every eye shadow "cake," and various other hijinx. If the image wasn't so hiliarious, I'd feel very bad for her.
Yea...should i be unfortunate enough to spawn an offspring?
They are growing up in Timbuktu and also boarding school in timbuktu.
This is retarded, i honestly feel bad for kids of this generation, no sense of childhood whatsoever.
When I was at Disney World over the summer, they had a place that gives princess makeovers...One day, I swear there were tiny little princesses/hookers with fake hairpieces and pancake makeup EVERYWHERE. They were all waaaaayyyyy too young for any of that stuff besides the princess dresses.
@ineffable.me: Ooh Tinkerbell! I can still remember what that peeling nail polish... tasted like. Oops.
My daughters ("my" "daughters") will be getting the rejuvenating makeovers I got as a lass: nut brown skin from hours spent playing in the sunshine, glowing cheeks from laughing (& screaming & crying!) and soft hands from making mud pies all day in the yard. And skinned knees and tangled hair and all that other good good stuff.
W.T.F.
I'm the mom of a six-year-old girl and there is NO WAY I'd let her have a party at Club Libby Lu. Also no way to Princess Parties, Diva Parties... none of that shit.
She's a girly girl, but her makeup is PRETEND. Just like mine was at her age. For the love of God, if I don't watch her, she'll still eat the flavored lipgloss!
I'd rather her be realistic and balanced in her body image. That's why she does Highland dancing and not ballet, soccer and not acting. However dramatic she may want to be - she's a KID.
@Archetype: my mom didnt let me dye my hair until i was 15. i hated it. all girls in my class were bottle blondes and had highlights and then there was me with my blah brown hair. the first thing i did was get blue highlights. you couldnt really see them, but man i was psyched!
I fear for little girls. Truly I do. If I ever have one it will be way too tempting to lock her in some sort of padded box until she's 18. Or maybe 40.
@inkytwist: I think it just depends on the context. Like, my friend's two daughters would totally LOVE to get manicures and the youngest is 5. They would TOTALLY love the attention. Also, if you grow up in a household with a mom or an aunt or a sister who does nails or hair or whatever, I imagine it's pretty normal to get them at young ages.
And just because a young girl is getting manicures and pedicures doesn't mean they aren't being kids. Those two kids I mentioned are TOTAL kids, but they also like pretending to be grown ups sometimes, like all kids do.
It's FUN to be pampered and to have all the attention on you and I don't think it necessarily means the kid is growing up too fast.
And I'm a total tomboy!
I like my makeup today, but I wish I hadn't been exposed to cosmetics at such a young age. When I was 10, just before starting middle school (I was a grade ahead for my age), my aunt took me to a Clinique counter and bought me pale blue eye shadow, lip gloss, mascara.. the full treatment. She meant well, and granted this all went down in East Texas in the late 80's, but still... the next time I left the house without makeup, I was in friggin' COLLEGE.
Add to the list buying your 5 year old a bikini, thong underwear, or allowing them to wear pants that say "Juicy" across the ass. SICK!