The pink - it blindz me.

What! 60% of women in their 20s are "very" or "extremely" willing to marry for money?? Wtf girls, try to keep it together for a few more decades, mmkay?

Tinsley Mortimer is a waste of air. And you just know she and Topper are going to name their first born Taffy or Tab.

Aaaaaa! Tiny text makes my head ache.

food IS really expensive. but i don't really notice as much since i'm always dropping bills at the neighborhood co-op [where i get a stunning 3% discount for membership] where organic handmade cereal bars cost like seven bucks.

I'm confused, Tinsley married Topper twice? I don't even care I just like to see their names so close, it makes me giggle.

@leMaldeTete: At least when you divorce it's for money as well and you have the rest of your life to enjoy it.

Why is Tinsley Mortimer interesting because I don't get it. Marrying at 18 seems so white trash.

@Pinkosaurus: ah, but marrying and having your in-laws rush to annul it is much more interesting! dear old topper then just married her again, a few years later. one of the last men-of-his-word around, i'd assume.

Yeah, I'm disagreeing with the number of years Lindsay was homeless before leasing an estate with chicky. She had an apartment in Sierra Towers until last year when she put it on the market after rehab. And, why not talk about clothes instead of a DUI? She's doing so much better, quit dredging up the past.

She is so pretty in that picture.

I'm ignoring all the upsetting stuff on that list.

@BAngieB: Agreed. She looks haaaaaaawt in that photograph. She does sex kitten well.

I love this feature. Why did shopping malls die? So that people can spend more money on gas driving from store to store? Because I am pretty much the only one who ever walks around the shopping center near my apartment.

I love "price upon request." It's so saying "Unless your American Express is black, you can't afford it, so don't ask, you impoverished bitch."

Of course, I also love going through the fash mags and finding items that cost more than my monthly rent. It's really not hard at all.

I tried reading Vogue in bed the other day, since reading before I turn off the lamp and try to sleep calms me down. I couldn't recline and read-I had to turn on my side and place the magagzine on the other side of the bed because it was so darn heavy if I dropped it, it would crush my face. Luckily Vogue would be able to recommend "the perfect plastic surgeon for every body type."

Well the university faculty thing is deceiving as an academic may only teach for 4 hours a week but the preparation for a an hour long lecture or tutorial is easily 4-5 hours per one hour teaching. Believe me I speak from experience.

Then you have assignment corrections which can take up several hours a week, more if its during exam time or end of term assignments. General administration and actually composing a course takes a huge amont of time. Then there is office hours for student consultation and feedback.

Also, a huge part of academia is research based which ensures that both the scholar and the institution they are from stay competitive. It is on this basis that they will be employed and gain tenure. So don't be so judgy next time.

@charlotte corday: Wait, is that what happened? Damnit, now I've actually started to care who this Tinsley person is. Off to Google...

@mepo: but why less teaching hours now than before?

@PolythenePam: Do the oldies walk the circuit there in the morning? I think that's so cute.

@PolythenePam: Shopping malls died because of the people in the kiosks who try to "retail rape" you, as I call it. "Miss can I have a minute?" "Excuse me miss!" "Miss, touch this!" Once I tried to ignore one of em and he followed me and said it again and I kind of threw up my hands in a defensive stance and said, "NO!" Then I went to JC Penney, got the Christmas present, and just for spite, took the outside route in the cold and wind, to get back to my car, which was pretty far away.

I have not been back to the mall since Christmas. Those people are so damn pushy and I only like a few stores anyway. I try to look as bored and/or hostile as possible. Both of those looks come pretty naturally to me, but ugh. Hate. Malls.

I love the Harpers index! This should become a regular feature. I would marry for money...marriages of convenience are underrated. Or perhaps, open marriages of convenience are underrated.

@J.D.Regent: There's more and more emphasis on research and universities took note of the diffficulty in juggling both. Teaching quality increases as lecturers have more time to devote to both. Plus actual class time has decreased over the years.

I can haz metallic pink taser to take out the 60% of young women marrying for money? Clearly the gene pool needs a little cleaning.

Tinsley and Topper? What kind of names are these? These are the names of christmas ornaments, or yorkies.

BAngieB's pretty, pretty girl looks ravishing in that shot!

@hamburgerhotdog: I wouldn't mind having a pile of cash, that's fo sho. Just don't wanna ho myself out for it.

@Pinkosaurus: There is such a fine line between white trash and wealthy WASPs. It's a line made of coke dust and a million razor sharp ortolan beaks, but it's whippet-thin.

props on the list - that was awesome.

and I am suddenly very aware of how often I eat out...

Can someone with smarter smarts tell me why my pop-up Harper's window is too small / won't expand for the whole graphic and what to do about it? Thanks, you're all peaches.

@lalaland13: Ohhh I despise those people. It's like avoiding land mines. I hate to, but you really have to be rude sometimes to get them to back off! The worst at our mall are the ones trying to rub lotion on your hands or use those spiderlike head massagers on you as you pass by.

That was fascinating, just with the contrasts from Harper I to Harper II. So fascinating I'm not even depressed yet! Keep it up!

It looks like she's walking down the street with spiderman in that pic. Or a guy in spiderman pjs.

@DorothyZbornak: Why not "Pretty" or "Prissy" Mortimer?

@LuxLisbon: They're trying to use it on your head? That image cracked me up "Damnit, another fast-moving scalp!" I'm glad none of those kiosks are hawking tampons. Yet.

Once a guy thrust a bundle out in front of me and said "Miss touch this." I said "No thanks" and kept walking and wanted to add, "And you're gay." Because he so was. It was obvious to me in our 5-second interaction. I don't know what it was, but I hope it was a baby. I like the idea of selling babies at the mall.

@mepo: I was thinking the same thing. Also, a lot of universities give faculty breaks on teaching load so they can serve on committees and do other university stuff.

@Archetype: No but my husband and I do on weekends. Wait a minute. . . we're the oldies! Aaaaaaaaa!

@lalaland13: Ugh. My boss and I were recently accosted at the SF Centre by a dude with a straightening iron. We had to do some finger waving to get him away. I hate those kiosk people.

@ghanima: She did a photo shoot with dudes in superhero costumes. The pics are good and she looks soooooooooooo pretty.

@PolythenePam: Oops!

Sorry, I have only ever seen seniors do that....

Hey girls, FYI, when that enlarged window pops up, it's smaller (at least in IE browsers) than the actual size of the page, but I can't scroll up or down or increase the size of the window, so I have copy and past the image into an email to read the whole thing. That's me, helpin' out with them technical difficulties.

11 million on cocaine Ike? Today that would get you like a gallon of milk...the generic brand from Wal-Mart OR a bedazzled pink taser!!1!

@ghanima: Yes:
[tabloid.millionface.com]

@PolythenePam: @J.D.Regent: @mepo: Yeah, the university these days has become so crazy top-heavy with administration that lots more faculty have heavy admin commitments that get them "courses off" and so on.

Another theory: at the top there's a total arms race for the famous. The main carrot offered is teaching relief.

@blondegrlz: i read the article somewhere, and just came off totally team topper. tinsley sounds like someone i wouldn't trust to watch my dog for an hour.

the university: the only place where your masters of medieval history will get you paid. I have no problem with that stat.

There are too many T names in that list...and they should have checked it for typos before sending it to be printed...

@ChezLait: Those are good, but Tins and Top strike me as the type to name everyone names that start with the same letter as theirs, a la the Kardashians.

Tinsley & Topper's apartment is a hideous riot of chintz inhabited by the ghost of Sister Parrish. Not a good look for anyone under 80.

is anyone else shocked by the US Gov't paper shredding stat? jebus!