Okay, all kidding aside, what is wrong with Gary Coleman? And I don't mean his congenital kidney disorder or that he's unable to consummate his relationship with his wife, for whatever reason. I'm talking about the fact that it was really difficult for me to get a screen shot — showing his eyes alert and open — from this interview on the Today show this morning. Is he on something? And for that matter, what is his wife's deal? I love that Al Roker had the balls to be like, "What is it that attracted you to Gary?" Because really, we want to know. Oh, also, Gary said that he has always wanted to be "an actor on the internet" and that he's embarrassed by other actors and "ashamed to be a member of the business." Also, he's apparently "not into fame." Right, so he's booking himself and his platonic wife around on all these TV shows to stay out of the public eye! Clip above.

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