A craaaazyass irate Clinton supporting union chief just went on an epic rant about how Obama supporters are all "Birkenstock wearing trust fund babies." It's hard to say whether it's more hilarious that he likened Obama to a Roman god and a "thespian" or that his name is Buffenbarger. But wait...Birkenstocks? We sorta get it. I mean, you can't wear Birkenstocks to your backbreaking job at the machine tool factory that is about to close anyway in which case you are stuck at Payless. Fuck, you can't really wear Birkenstocks anywhere anymore, can you? The last time Birkenstocks were remotely common enough to be annoying was the first Clinton Administration! (Full disclosure: I wore them to school! And Doc Martens!) But what Buffenbarger's statement truly belies is a tone-deafness to the nuances of nation's footwear consumption fads, which are, like the issues before us, more complicated than German hippie sandals. There is much to hate, and for so many good reasons! But Birkenstocks are no longer the enemy. Which bring me to this wacky poll: which offensive shoes most remind you of Barack Obama?

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