The Toy Fair is in town (New York, that is) and the new crap they dished out for the kiddies on the Today show this morning was sucktastic! Or maybe just retro? Girls will be able to learn "social responsibility" (whatever the fuck that is) from a talking dollhouse. Or they can make cupcakes! Meanwhile, the boys get battle brawlers with "fun action," Clone Trooper helmets and some kind of rockin' air guitar belt buckle (playing "air guitar" sort of looks like "jerking off" but whatevs.) Don't worry girls: You can also create a digital runway show starring everyone's favorite stacked blonde with oh-so-realistic proportions... Barbie! Clip above.

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