Last night was one of the weirdest Project Runway episodes ever. It was the last real ep before the reunion special and two-part finale: Ay, so close to the end! As you know, it's down to Rami, Sweet P, Christian, Chris March and Jillian, and Heidi told the designers that once again, they were off on a field trip. But she said it all ominous-like, since it's the final field trip they will ever go on. Fucking drama queen! The designers ended up meeting Tim Gunn at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and had 45 minutes to scour the Egyptian wing, the Greek and Roman sculpture court, and the European paintings and take pictures of things that inspired them (which is so Season 2: Andre's gutter water, anyone?) The episode draaaaaaged; things got so slow that Chris March took a nap. Then at the runway presentation, things took a turn for he crazy. Who's going to fashion week (winning look, at left!) and the insane musings of guest judge Roberto Cavalli, after the jump.
Christian is really talented. Bratty and immature, yes, but also really talented. His look, based on a painting of a male Spanish soldier/nobleman and his black jodhpurs and ginormous white blouse and vest combo, was very, to borrow a classic Nina-ism, "editorial". It was beautifully made. It was dramatic. And though it was sorta crazy and super bold, it was somehow still wearable. Also, Roberto Cavalli, whose sentences had to be subtitled because his accent is indecipherable, said that he could tell it was made with love. It made no sense, and yet it rang true! Christian won and is off to Fashion Week! After seeing his show last week, I suspect his entire collection was based on this painting, too. He is clearly the one to beat.
Also going to Bryant Park is queen of my heart, Jillian. I love this girl! Her outfit was based on a painting of the Argonauts at battle and I thought she had the most interesting, wearable, fashion-forward look of the bunch. In a way, her piece was more inventive than Christian's, because it showed you don't have to make a shirt the size of a pup tent to do something bold and attention-getting. Also? The dress, the jacket? Hot. You have to love Jillian's humility: The way she finally told Christian that she just couldn't deal with him and his attitude; the way she told Tim how lucky she felt to be a part of this process; the way she graciously said, "That would be an honor" when Mr. Cavalli told her he'd love to have her on his staff; and the way she genuinely thanked the judges when they informed her she would also be showing in Bryant Park. Jillian+Jen4Eva.
Sweet P is out of the running. Who among us did not see this coming? She's a real sweet lady. But she's out of her league on this show. As I stated last week, maybe she could just open a cupcake shop instead? I'm not sure if fashion is her destiny, even if her decoy show in Bryant Park last week was more impressive than I expected. Her inspiration? A painting of a peacock. She made a "eh, wearable" dress (as Michael Kors put it) that had little to do with the panting and even less to do with exciting design. It did, however, garner this laugh-out-loud comment from Roberto Cavalli: "What is more fantasy than peacock tail?"
Then, in the weirdest stunt ever pulled on this show, Heidi informed Rami and Chris March that the judges were split on which one of them should be out and which of them should proceed to Fashion Week. So she said that the day before the show, they would each have to present the judges with their three strongest looks, and then the judges would decide who would be in and who would be out. Which is bullshit: Why not just let both of them show? What point, other than debasing my beloved Project Runway with Survivor-type gambits, is there to this system if the whole point of the finale is that their final runway collections are evaluated? I call Bullshit.
Rami, unsurprisingly, did something draped. In all fairness, they did turn him loose in the Greek and Roman sculpture court. But then they ripped him a new one during judging, telling him all he does is make pretty and wearable clothes but that he makes the same stuff every single week and that he has to stop draping. Rami responded by (sorta) screaming, "What's wrong with draping? What's so bad about draping?" Awkward! Then Roberto Cavalli got fresh and told Rami that he needs to do more to prove why he should be in this competition; I feared Rami was going to pull a Santino-going-postal-on-Nina. Scary.
Then there's Chris March. I just love him, because I think he's a nice guy and is, thankfully, the biggest jolt of personality we've seen this season. His dress was very pretty and dramatic and — another favorite Nina-ism! — expensive-looking. But as the judges pointed out, Chris's dress, based on a painting of a French noblewoman, bore an uncanny resemblance to the couture dress that he had made with Christian a few weeks prior. This made Chris cry. But Chris also cried happy tears when Roberto Cavalli said that the dress was his favorite and that he expected to see Chris show in Paris at couture in the very near future. But I thought Tim Gunn was going to cry when he discovered Chris napping while the others were working. There is no napping on Project Runway. You work, you freak, you fight with the other contestants, you freak some more, you get back to work. But you don't nap. It's disrespectful and arrogant on Christian-like proportions. Chris, you broke my heart a little with this one.
Next week: The reunion special, where surely, Ricky will cry and Kevin will tell everyone how straight he is again, but in the meantime: Who wins the Rami vs. Chris battle???? I'm not going to be able to sleep for two weeks.