This just in: Old food might not be OK to eat! The thoughtful folks at Fox News have informed us that there were worms found in an old box of chocolates somewhere at some point, so they decided to dedicate some airtime to let us know how we can avoid such a thing. First, don't shop in stores that look dirty. (Translation: Stay out of the bodegas in poor neighborhoods.) Secondly, don't buy chocolates off of dusty shelves. (Translation: What the fuck did we just tell you about low-income neighborhoods? They live off our tax dollars and now they're giving us worms!) Thanks, Fox! Usually you put me off me off my lunch, and now you've put me off dessert as well. This diet rules!
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