Jezebel
"If somebody asks me point-blank, 'Have you had plastic surgery?' it's like, well, duh," Dolly Parton tells the latest issue of Ladies Home Journal in an interview tied to the concert tour she just canceled on account of her breasts. Prescient, no? The magazine doesn't say much about Dolly's new album, Backwoods Barbie, choosing instead to spend approximately 2,398 words on her breasts (which she nicknamed "shock" and "awe.") "They do seem like public property in a way. They served me well — I don't know if I'm supporting them or they're supporting me. I've always had nice ones but of course I've had 'em jacked up a bit...I'll never graduate from collagen." But her ever-eroding frame may have trouble accomodating such a heaving bosom: though she tells the writer she's trying to gain weight, she passes up fajitas and nachos in favor of a single sour candy and looks so thin she "couldn't arm wrestle an Olsen twin," according to the writer.
Oh, Dolly, we'd expect to be having this conversation with Carrie Underwood, but not you babe! Don't you become the Amy Winehouse of 2008! Drink some milk and put some meat on the bones.
Dolly Postpones Tour, Blames Breasts [MSNBC]
Comments
I will never forgive the Academy for passing over her amazing song "Travelin' Thru" for Three Six Mafia.
My parents went to see her in Nashville a couple of years back. They said she was unbelievable. I thought my Pa was gonna have a heart attack! I loves the Dolly.
There aren't fucking enough words in the English language to convey how much I love Dolly Parton.
I heart her.
Shock and awe. That's brilliant.
She is awesome. Seriously. One of the nicest people in show biz.
Ya'll a Jezzie retreat to Dollywood would rock. Let's plan one. Who's in?
I first noticed she was getting really skinny on some CMT show I flipped past over a year ago. Still, seeing that pic of her: DAMN. Her legs are smaller than my arms.
Otherwise, though - nothing but love for Dolly.
Dammit, she's postponed her tour because of back problems.
Dolly says: "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems."
No, seriously, that's a real quote.
I love her.
she's the only twangy singer i can stand. and i loves her sooooo much.
@meaghan2k: Ditto.
"I'm a chain!"
I've never loved her kind of music, but in many ways I respect her. However, she does seem really thin on the cover (not saying she is, but she just looks it). She has great skin, though.
@rachystyle: I agree. My mother liked her song and yelled "Are you fucking kidding me?!" when Three Six Mafia won. My mother does not really yell, let alone swear.
I heart Dolly!
and although i'm not defending something that is clearly pathological, but she's tiny, and a LOT of women get super skinny as they push retirement age.
@bowlingfordollars: **squirms in seat and waves raised hand around in the air** ME!
I've always wanted to go to Dollywood. I love Dolly. Her songs consistently make me tear up. Coat of Many Colors...bah. Can't listen to that one in the car.
Dolly may be one of the smartest women to ever play a dumb blond, as far as I can tell. Though even if she weren't, all manner of sins could be covered by "9 to 5" the movie.
She is the awesomest, and so totally talented. A lot of people just think she's about the boobs and the voice. She'a a really fine musician, a great songwriter, and I lurve her to death. Call me, Dolly!
The other day I was driving my fiancee to his birthday party when 9 to 5 came on. I started belting it out. At first he looked at me all judgy like, but by the second verse he was singing too. No one can resist the Dolly.
@bowlingfordollars: I'm in. I can relive the 6th-grade romance that began on a fateful class trip to Dollywood. But only if we go on a day Dolly is there, so I can swipe one of her wigs to wear with my Pat Head Summitt shoes.
I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
I freaking love Dolly too, but I have heard that Dollywood sucks. Which disappoints me greatly. Can anyone confirm/refute?
@bowlingfordollars: I am so there. I love Dolly soo much. I love Jezzies soo much. And I had some really yummy sweet wine from the Apple Barn restaurant in Pigeon Forge at by BF's aunt's house this weekend, so I'd love to get some of that too!
Fuck it, you guys. I LOVE HER.
I think Dolly is super cool. That is all.
@bowlingfordollars:
oh I am all in.
I hearts the Dolly. So. Much.
I love her!
Love her. Her quote "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap" never fails to crack me up.
growing up, dolly was a joke because of shock and awe, and yet i still loved her songs. as an adult, i appreciated how hard it must have been for her to write and record all of her own material in nashville at a time when it wasn't common for women to do that. best of all, she has a sense of humor about how she looks...too bad more actresses and recording artists don't have her attitude. go dolly go!
Thank god, a celebrity who is honest about having plastic surgery! You go honey! As for being skinny, she does look much thinner than her 9 to 5 days.
SO MUCH LOVE.
better get to livin' is awesome. wish i could follow her advice a little better though.
Amazing songwriter. Does anyone remember her TV show with Porter Wagoner? Those 2 rocked some major sequins.
@bowlingfordollars: ME!
i wanna grow up to be her (but kinda saggy, since i'm scared of plastic surgery. oh, and i don't have that kind of talent. oh crap... i fear i just found out that i really, actually want to grow up to be rue mclanahan. interesting).
As Dolly said in 'Steel Magnolias', "There's no such thing as natural beauty." She cracks me up, because even though she's given herself many an overhaul, she manages to keep it real.
Dollywood! Woo-hoo! Also, we seem to have found one of the few subjects that all Jezzies agree one. Straight Dolly love from here!
@Archetype: "There's so much static e-lec-tricity in this room I pick up everything except boys and money!"
She has, like, the warmest screen presence ever.
i do love dolly
Coming out of lurkdome to add to the Dolly. Also, because I'm pumped that my fiancee bought us tickets to see her next month at Radio City. Woot!
@socalsnarkstress: Another favorite quote, on why she stays so skinny: You know nothing grows in the shade.
Also, I have complete unabashed love for "Islands in the Stream."
Do not underestimate Dolly. She is shrewd and sharp. I love, love, love her.
My mom and I have tickets to see Dolly next month in Atlantic City.
SO EXCITED.
Hag Hag Hag... Gag Gag Gag
@rednrowdy: to clarify, i never thought she was a joke, but the big boobs + stupid kid behavior = ...well, you know.
Can I just take the opportunity to say that my love for Dolly Parton is in exact proportion to the dislike I feel for our IT guys at my company? I just spent several minutes typing a lovely comment about my love for the Parton, and my computer ate it. BOO!
I want to go home and watch the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas RIGHT NOW.
@bowlingfordollars: Oh me me me!!!. I remember being at the state fair trying so hard to win a prize - a poster of Dolly. Finally the carnie gave it to me and I lurved it so much. She's the best.
I threw a fit at Dollywood when I was 8 for a pink parasol that could be personalized with my name in the puff paint pastel color of my choice...even at that age I knew my two favorite colors would always be blush and bashful
I listen to Dolly on the way to work when I need to feel empowered and awesome. It always works!
@rednrowdy: Totally with you. Stupid kid Dolly Parton humor was a big part of elementary school. But we also had Tammy Faye Bakker humor, which I think was particular to South Carolina.
I LOVE Dolly! My old roommate and I went to see her a few years ago. There isn't a natural part left on her face, but she is the awesomist. Also, Jolene is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time.
@Gabbo: "You know what really burns my ass? A flame about 3 feet high."
Oh, I also have a magnet of her on my fridge. LOVE.
That's it! Watch the Southern Jezebels Facebook board - I am totes planning a Cocktails, Dreams & Coonskins weekend at Dollywood.