Broke Hillary Fires Loyal Hill Force One Captain Patti Solis Doyle

Oh Patti Solis Doyle, we hardly knew ya! Maybe it is just that you resemble Rachael Ray, but even though your job running the Clinton campaign was surely tortuous, you always seemed so sunny and approachable. Unlike your boss's husband, we really did have a soft spot for you. But while you were masterminding such lighthearted and humanizing moments as that prank whereby Hillary pretended she was a flight attendant on her very own jet, Hill Force One was burning precarious amounts of campaign cash on its way to crash landings in Nebraska, Maine and Washington State. For the record, Megan and I think it was stupid to fire you on the eve of the eve of the three big Beltway caucuses. But if it means you'll be freed up to go on the talk show circuit and bump that annoying Terry McAuliffe from his designated position as the go-to Hillary mouthpiece, well, at least there is that. In other news Obama won a bunch of states, Bush wants to execute a bunch of Guantanamo detainees and John Edwards, like Natalie Imbruglia, is torn...

MOE: PATTI SOLIS DOYLE. I wish I knew more about her other than she looks like Rachel Ray and according to Drudge is Latina. I guess he's saying she's outlived her usefulness since all Latins were already too racist to vote for the black? I know I read once in More magazine I think about the travails of being Patti Solis Doyle and ... how it's tough to be a working mom etc. etc. Other than that I'm drawing a blank. Always more distracted by the sight of Huma Abedin. What do you have?
MEGAN: I got nothin'. I guess I had sort of assumed that, given the incestuous nature of politics in DC, that she was related to Congresswoman Hilda Solis, but wikipedia tells me I'm wrong. She's actually from Chicago AND worked for Mayor Daley's campaign... and Michelle Obama used to work for Mayor Daley. And her strategy has definitely been kind of hit-or-miss this campaign. But, stupid to fire her 2 days before tomorrow's primaries, I think. Your campaign manager should never be the story.
MOE: Oh, my brother came up with an interesting theory he just emailed to me. It just started to make sense now. He thinks Romney helped Obama by "making McCain the sure-thing for Republicans." Now, independents who would have gone to the Republican primaries to vote for McCain are instead going to the Democratic primaries to vote for Obama. He said this is what is happening with his friend's dads — all Virginia guys.
It's the faith of my fathers/dreams from my father thing. I'm telling you, this campaign will turn out to be about Manhood yet!
Oh yeah and I guess we should also discuss whether it was, like, "expected" that Obama would win all those states by those insane margins? And was Nebraska the biggest surprise? I always thought of Nebraska as being pretty much like Oklahoma.
MEGAN: Well, but Nebraska and Maine were both closed primaries/caucuses, as is Maryland's and DC. It might make a difference in VA tomorrow, though.
Nebraska's a weird state anyway. It has a unicameral nonpartisan legislature.
MOE: Who's favored in Maryland? I imagine that a huge percentage of MD Dems have worked w. the Clintons but that's not necessarily an advantage for their campaign.
MEGAN: As for Washington state, a friend from Seattle told me this weekend that Barack's events attracted at least 3 times the people's as Hillary's events last week.
The last 3 polls in Maryland show Obama leading by an average of 21 points.
According to The Sun, it's because of the strength of black voters in the state, but Governor Martin O'Malley (whose doesn't think superdelegate vote is currently committed to the Hills) doesn't think it's an issue for the Democratic party to put forward a candidate that a majority of African-American voters in his state (and many others) didn't support because they'll still vote Democratic in November.
MOE: Okay so I actually just read one of those Solis Doyle stories. They are blaming it on the cash crunch; Patti didn't tell Hillary she was running out of cash etc. etc. ... sounds like some sort of spin. But on the other hand, who was letting them ride around in private jets if they were burning through dough that way? Have you seen any stories on, you know, places the Clinton campaign might have saved $$$ ?? In other news she apparently clashed with Bill. I dunno, I realize this strategy worked for McCain, but that was last summer...
And dude?! Mark Penn got FOUR MILLION DOLLARS??!
MEGAN: Oooh, I guess we know who walked Patti out, eh?
All those campaign consultants are bigger blood-suckers than lobbyists, imho
MOE: Srsly! And I mean, honestly, for what? So that fucking Terry McAuliffe can go on teevee and say "Are you suggesting we DISENFRANCHISE THE VOTERS OF FLORIDA Keith? Surely you don't suggest we DISENFRANCHISE THOSE VOTERS!!!"
MEGAN: Penn is getting paid twice as much as Axelrod is getting paid by Obama, who's raking in way more cash right now.
But she did jump on the flat fees for media consultants bandwagon ahead of Obama, which was probably a money saver, since those people bilked Kerry for $9 million last time. They get paid a fee per ad, btw, for how many ads air. They're the ones I blame.
MOE: It's funny. I vaguely remember the Cinton administration seeming like an old diesel powered station wagon, or like Pig Pen, w. like, a big cloud of internal strife and dissent wherever it went, in stark contrast to Bush and his sorta hard shiny coat of loyalty and mind control, where the only option for a rank-breaker would be to go unload to Ron Suskind.
Anyway HAPPY MEDIUM. THERE'S GOTTA BE A HAPPY MEDIUM RIGHT?
MEGAN: There are no mediums in politics!
Happy or otherwise.
They pay shitty, whether it's for a campaign or in the government, so they only attract the TRULY COMMITTED who aren't really the types of people who swim happily in the grey areas.
MOE: It also seems like maybe Patti failed to wrest an endorsement out of John Edwards and that did it?
MEGAN: If Hillary herself couldn't do it, how was Patti going to?
MOE: She has such a nice face! She seems so breezy and approachable! Maybe they got along!
But not well enough. When is Edwards supposed to come out + endorse somebody?
He is "said to be torn."
MEGAN: I think having not yet done so, he's not really going to until he absolutely has to. Why would he? He probs isn't a superdelegate, so it's his only real vote.
MOE: Okay and just in case you forgot about the Bush administration still like running things and all, six lucky Guantanamo detainees are finally going to get their day in "court." The Pentagon seeks to kill them all. But what of the rest of the guys in Guantanamo? That's for the next administration to deal with!
And Mike Huckabee...persists.
MEGAN: Because The Jesus will help him prevail against that McCain guy.