Jezebel
Reader Tanya asked us to look at Trembled Blossoms, the digitally-animated short film on the Prada Web site. And we did! And tripped the fuck out of our minds. The creepy, dreamy, product-pushing visual art tells a mythic story set to delicately bizarre music. See, once upon a time there was a sexual-organ-esque flower. This flower's juicy center was penetrated by a hummingbird, and a little jizz seeped out... (join us as we storyboard and caption our favorite stills after the jump)
The jizz dropped down to the ground, where it shattered the surface and woke up a sleeping, flat-chested, dead-eyed naked nymph.
The nymph was approached by some horrifying bugs, but they turned into high-heeled Prada shoes. Just what every newly awakened sylph needs!
As the nymph struts around in her new shoes, she spots a piece of fruit. When she picks it, the world around her blooms!
Sashaying through the creeptastic forest, the Nymph is jumped by a Checkered Lesbian Fairy...
Who clothes her in a perfectly fitted checkered Prada suit and stockings. Just the thing for hiking!
Night falls and the well-dressed nymph encounters a Faun, not as hot as Tim Curry in Legend, but whatevs.
The faun urinates a pond. A dragon flies into the pond and turns into a fish. Nymph girl polishes off the fruit she's been carrying and then throws the pit into the hungry fish's mouth. What a bitch!
The water recedes; the fish has turned into (TA-DAH!) a Prada purse.
The Faun presents it to the Nymph...
Who is so fucking psyched to complete her outfit she spins around in circles...
...Not realizing that the Faun's head has cracked open. He is DYING.
And by dying I mean turning into a flower with a bulbous center, much like the one in the beginning of the tale.
The Nymph pulls the sheets of the world around her — but then notices her purse has a bird in it.
Do all Prada bags come with wildlife? Do the wallets come with moths?
So yeah, the Nymph pulls the covers over her head and...
...Fin.
Moral of the story: Take hallucinogens before you purchase Prada items, and spray them liberally with Raid.
Trembled Blossoms [Prada]
Comments
Le Fuq?
Good to see Mr. Tumnus is doing well.
please not moths. those things scare the CRAP outta me.
what?
You gotta love Miuccia for this, come on. hahaha.
the captions were aces.
Wow, I could have really appreciated this at Barrington Hall, Berkeley, California -- in 1983.
I am so getting blazed later and watching this. After the inevitable disappointment I will make and eat a dozen Nutella-slathered crepes and likely watch an episode of 30 Rock I've already seen 4 times. Thank you Dodai.
holy hell, that was pretty awesome
That's why designer stuff is so expensive. It's made of faun urine and magic fish. And soooo worth it.
Whoa. Just this stills are scaring the shit out of me.
@MyFirstAndLastName: LOL!
@leMaldeTete: Come back and update on how it was stoned. I can't wait to see if I am more or less frightened.
that ain't right.
This looks like somebody's final project at the end of an advanced animation course. NOT in a good way.
@titania1285: Thank you! I am terrified of moths! Everyone thinks I'm crazy.
Well...not just because of the moths.
On topic: Who would wear that dress? I think the nymph was spinning around, trying to get it off.
@BringBackTheBustle: Ahaha! I cherish this idea!
@raphaela: they fly ERATICALLY and they have that weird dust stuff and i don't like them and i don't like butterflies either.
Prada's Labyrinth.
I'm seriously struck dumb. This is gayer than the Heatherette designers at a cuddle party. This is gayer than Bobby Trendy's 'taint. This is gayer than Lance Bass riding a pink palomino through a glitter snowstorm.
too.amazing.for.words.
Er, I looked at the first shot and thought it was the video for Bjork's Hunter.
@stacyinbean: Can we trade insights then? I am hoping some deeper meaning will become clear or I'll break out in checkered hives or something.
If the nymph is any indication of the aesthetic Prada will be using this season, I guess we won't be seeing any black Prada models any time soon.
@stacyinbean: @leMaldeTete: less, def less. just skip to the nutella part :)
Are fauns having a moment? (Pan's Labyrinth, etc) Is it the Year of the Faun? I have to know so I can stay on-trend.
um, don't watch this stoned. It's just seems sexual and violent. Not an enjoyable experience for me.
Are they rolling at Prada?
@BiscuitDoughJones: Gayer than Larry Birkhead flying through a rainbow on the back of a unicorn - while having teh buttsecks?
I love checkered lesbians. Or do I love lesbians with checkered pasts?
That was so weird it was wonder-full.
@BiscuitDoughJones: glitter snowstorm sounds painful. those shreds of metallic plastic cut like knives, i'm sure.
That was like a Roger Dean album cover come to life. And not in a good way.
@titania1285: @raphaela: I am also terrified of moths, and I say the exact same thing "There all erratic!!!"
God, I thought I was alone in this. I seriously can't be in a room where there's a moth without turning into a complete shrieking moron.
@MyFirstAndLastName: damn. james mcelvoy played mr. tumnus. he was waaaay hotter than the gargoyle thingy from the prada video.
@BiscuitDoughJones: the video is designed for the disco-dancing, Oscar-Wilde-reading, Streisand-ticket-holding friend of Dorothy set.
@ThaKadinskyPapers: But that's what I do every night! (shameface)
@ineffable.me: No, I don't think so! We should approach with tough love and hope she gets her shit together again.
This is sort of, in a very vague fashion, reminds me of Pink Floyd's The Wall (the movie). Except a lot more crappy. See because this is excellent:
[www.youtube.com]
Honestly, Prada just wish they were THAT cool. (Also the genital imagery there so beats the flower/hummingbird stuff.)
as Jacobim Mugatu once famously said "i feel like i'm taking crazy pills!"
Want. the. purse.
@ThaKadinskyPapers: hahahahaha. good to know! I'll post my results in about 2 hours.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Is there such a thing as 'best comment of the day' any more? Because this passage including 'Heatherette at a cuddle party' has my vote.
@rednrowdy: I haven't seen the movie, but really? He's hot? I can't imagine being attracted to the bumbling Mr. Tumnus.
@blondegrlz: Ahahahaa! Gayer than John Waters flipping through a Tom of Finland coffeetable book while sitting on a throne made of gold-plated buttplugs.
@bigleggedwoman: Gracias!
@hatepaperdoll: yes! i curl up in the fetal position and start shrieking, while whoever i'm with runs around with a shoe/dustbuster trying to get me to shut the fuck up.
spiders/roaches/worms/silverfish/house centipedes? no problem. moths are my kryptonite.
Did anyone else realize that James McAvoy was Mr. Tumnus in Chronicles of Narnia? I didn't figure that out until just last weekend. Good lookin'. Oh, what was this about? Oh yeah, no I will certainly not take acid and watch this. I think I might trip balls and then have to curl up in the fetal position for a good hour or so until I calm down.
So, this reminds me of that time my older sister told me about a bad acid trip, where it was foggy in the Sunset and there were ants marching, except they weren't ants, they were malicious, fucking hella pissed off elephants, and she was crying because they were coming to crush her face.
Do not want acid, do not want Prada acid movie, DO NOT WANT.
WTF?!
@titania1285: I'm with you on the butterflies too. They are just giant bugs with good PR.
I always get the feeling they could get in my mouth somehow.
It's a like a Björk video gone wrong. With consumerism.
I'm pretty sure the girl in this has bigger boobs than me.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Bwahahaha! Lance Bass. Glitter Snowstorm. Can. Not. Breath.
Next time I visit the Prada store, I'm totally brining some RAID and spraying it on everything. Then buy nothing, because that crap is too expensive and I've never been one to pay more for something just because of the name on it.
I just got a tingly flashback to Club Exit circa 2001.
@BiscuitDoughJones: You win! Your knowledge of gay far excedes mine!