Jezebel
It's the day after Super Tuesday, and there are still so many unknowns about the upcoming political conventions. But if you've been alive for a few years, you probably know there is one very known known about them: They're like 1929 for the sex work business! Strippers and hookers reap funds like Ron Paul's website! And the news media eats that shit up. Of course, not all conventions were created equal, reports yesterday's Rocky Mountain News, hometown newspaper of the city hosting this years Dem Convention. Says longtime hooker Carol Leigh: "Computer conventions can be lucrative. There's a lot of nerds that don't get out much... It would be a lot better for the sex workers if it was the Republican convention. We get a lot more business. I don't know if they're just frustrated because of the family values agenda..." Hmmmm, think there's something to that? Don't answer that!
Anyway, I'm just hoping that now that we've covered this ingenious story angle once, we won't have to do it again, at least more than ten or twenty times. Also, calling all enterprising young female would-be investigative journalists thinking of working a job at a strip club in a convention town this summer with the intention of perhaps landing a wealthy pro-gun/life/abstinence/Bible/family type politician in your lap: only do it for the money. This is a really predictable and dated story idea and requires the ability to actually recognize Christian conservatives other than Mike Huckabee, which is not as easy as it seems, and your talents are hopefully better spent elsewhere; just a little PSA from a someone who loves, kthanxbai.
DNC Boost For Sex Club Biz [Denver Rocky Mountain News]
Related: Hot Girls, Frisky Delegates: RNC Diary Of A Strip Club Waitress [Village Voice]
Comments
I'm pretty good at recognizing Christian conservatives, but you would have to pay me a loooooot of money to give one a lapdance. Even if it was for educational purposes.
Ugh. "Republicans" and "sex" in the same sentence. I need to go lie down now.
Reminds of how there was this story in an Israeli newspaper a few years ago that reported that Israel's only sex-shop chain's clientele is 76% Hassidic Jews.
I heard this on the radio the other day. Of COURSE it's the Republicans paying for the most sex.
I just don't buy it. Republican men wanting to have sex?! With women?!
new slogan: "democrats don't pay for sex"?
Can we start a Republican sex charity fund to buy these guys a good time? I think it would do them some good, and if we can distract them til November, all the better.
I told ya'll Republicans are the freaky ones!!
"'cause I will be a freak
until the day until the dawn
and we can pump, pump
all through the night till the early morn
come on and I will take you
around the 'hood on a gangsta lean
'cause we can pump, pump
any time of day it's all good for me"
My lapdance days are over, unless I am approached by Clive Owen, George Clooney or one of the others in my Fave Five (heh heh), and I just assume all white males that don't agree with me are Christian Conservatives.
Ah, to be Republican and ashamed of your sexuality. I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Oh, you are so right.
@SarahMC: Or could it be the Republicans paying the most for sex?
I wonder if the nerd trade is so lucrative because they're not used to hiring hookers, which means the ladies can rake in the dough.
@cindel: oooh, Adina!
They're "values voters" on the surface but when they get out of the house and away from their wives they shell out the big bucks for anal with sex workers.
Wasn't there a study recently that said Republicans are getting laid more? Or at least reporting that they are?
@titania1285: How about "Democrats don't have to pay for sex"? It feels a little more inclusive, and yet a little more smug at the same time.
@SarahMC: They're just trying to be like Jesus. Jesus was cool with prostitutes. They'd be denying their religion if they didn't also consort with ladies of the night.
Stripper? I'm posting on Craigslist as a 12-year-old Boyscout.
@LadyNo: probably because it's a christian wife's "duty" to please her husband.
we atheist democrats have no problem telling him to go to hell and that we're tired.
@SarahMC: I think it's more about the idea of hiring or "owning" a woman who fucks you. I think there are some men who visit prostitutes not because they're horny, but because they like to degrade women. I have a feeling these republicans are like that, since they obviously don't like women very much in the first place.
@MsDirector: i agree. much better.
I don't think there's enough money in the world to justify fucking a Republican.
@braak: "I swear, honey, I was just going to let her wash my feet."
@ThaKadinskyPapers: Yep, I love that song.
Jezebel should have a theme song!
Republican sex. The most fun you can have with 3/4s of your clothes on and thirty seconds to spare.
@MsDirector: Oh, I likes it.
@braak: All this time, have they been saying "Who would Jesus Do?" ?
I heard it was the dentists, but that might have been on Reno 911.
@blackbirdfly: What if you can use it to later reveal their hypocrisy (or at least try to), like Larry Flynt or the DC Madam? If successful, that might be worth it. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have as much permanent success as would be hoped.
Also, I'm with SarahMC on this - I think they go to sex workers for the kinky stuff they could never bring up with their good little wives, because those modest, pure women would be disgusted. Or even worse, like it, proving themselves to be the dirty whores we all are underneath.
Someone send this to Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
@TruculentandUnreliable: I concur with your theory. Frequenting prostitutes/strippers isn't about the sex (or "family values") usually; it's about power and dehumanizing the female body. Or something like that.
You know it's Hump Day when even articles like this make PhoneticLorin want to go home and screw something.
I may be going out on a limb here, but I think hate-fucking a Republican could be lots of fun.
@milkshakenhoney: I would hate fuck one of those Romney boys, but beyond that . . . ugh!
@LadyNo: They may be, but that's only because their submissive little wifeys believe it would be a sin not to have sex w/ hubby every single day, and every time he wants it. I know, because I have friends like this.
@milkshakenhoney: agree. as long as they are more scared than pleasured. um, does that make me rapey? i should probably shut up.
"Live nude girls". Does anyone want dead nude girls? Wait, don't answer that.
@titania1285: Hahah
@blackbirdfly: Plus if you got knocked up he'd try to force you to have the baby. That, or he'd be a total hypocrite and try to force you to abort. Right before protesting in front of PP.
@milkshakenhoney: You think that now, but lemme tell you- I had the opportunity once to hate-fuck a Republican once, and I could NOT do it. I shook his HAND good night and felt like I was dirty in my soul.
@wednesdaywolf: Yes, this. They need to release their misogyny somehow. Not that their political views aren't ENOUGH!
@AmazonRedheadedUberVixen: Oh, god, I would make those little robots tremble.
@SarahMC: HAHAHAHAHAHA BRILLIANT
@MsDirector: I see what you're saying, and yes, that could be a good thing, but I don't think I could make it that far without vomiting.
@AmazonRedheadedUberVixen: Would totally hate-fuck Ben Romney. He is like, the cute kinda hipster-bearded Romney brother. [www.myspace.com]
As for the Huckabee boys, well. Let's leave that one to the prostitutes.
@blackbirdfly: Fair enough. I think the same is probably true for me. Just thinking up possible schadenfreude-tastic scenarios.
I'm so glad you're back, Moe! I would do some investigative journalism, but who could do it better than Mike Jones? (song plays in the background: "Who? MIKE JONES!")
@athertonmerriweather: The shocked look on her face would be priceless.
@SarahMC: Please. Can't. Think. About. being pregnant with demon spawn in manner of Rosemary's Baby. Gahhh! I will have nightmares.
@milkshakenhoney: How insulting to the prostitutes.
@stacyinbean: They have to breed new Republicans.
@SarahMC: They can have the cute Republicans, too! I just meant I'd need to be paid for a Fuckabee. A lot.