Bill Bender Fucked Students For 20 Years, Looking Like This

The days of campus romance are over, writes Sue Schellenbarger in today’s Wall Street Journal: “Gone are the days when sororities and dorms marked engagements with candle-passing ceremonies while men serenaded beneath the windows.” (No yeah, she seriously wrote that.) But don’t tell that to University of Georgia professor William Bender! For twenty years Bender, until recently the education department chair, has been gettin L-A-I-D thanks to the fine, heh heh, body of students whose academic success he oversees at Georgia. It wasn’t hard; usually he’d just take a gal to dinner, ask her what she wanted out of a career, how her marriage was going, how good she was in the sack, invite her to the lake house. Then he’d slap her on the ass, ask to see her tits and tell another a little joke, such as: “What’s the best form of birth control?” (Bet you can’t guess the punchline!)

“Make your cum taste like chocolate!” LOL.

Anyway, this story came — so to speak — to an end, as all good ones do, when a couple administrators finally started paying attention to all the prudes who’d risked their careers to lodge complaints against him. (“He comes on real strong,” one wrote.) Still, Bender kept it up — heh — for a long time, considering the first complaints about him started trickling in back in 1989, after he asked a student out on a date, telling her she looked like she’d be good in bed, asking her what her prior sex partners would say about that, and pointing out that even though he and his wife were probably not divorcing, that his wife wasn’t “horny” enough for him.

As a result of those complaints, campus authorities “met with Bender to address the complaints. They made suggestions about how Bender could prevent the appearance of impropriety.”

Ha ha, the appearance of impropriety!

Anyway he’s finally been ousted, but this is an interesting case. I mean, I just polled the Jezebels, and just over half of us have had professors we (and most of our classmates) fantasized about screwing. (And I’m sure those of us who have did not just took too many women’s studies classes.) Anyhow, college is just like that. Even if you’re well aware of the fucked-up mix of neediness and attention and affirmation you’d be seeking through such a liaison, you’d still probably do it, because you’re in college and everyone’s supposed to fuck up in college, right?

So I’ll give them some leeway and say it takes an extra-strong guy, with an uncommon degree of willpower, to be a college professor. There should probably be some moral aptitude test, or an age limit, a testosterone quotient exam, or some rigidity test like they give to suspected pedophiles, to qualify. Like with the bar, the average guy would take the test and maybe not pass at first, and he’d have to work in research till he got his urges more under control.

And a guy like Bender, well, he’d take the test and get sent DIRECTLY TO JAIL.