Last week the Center for Public Integrity released a list of 935 separate falsehoods the Administration had told the public to get us to go along with the war in Iraq. This week, Matt Perkins swiped the idea and went to work compiling a (slightly lengthier) dossier of possible and probable falsehoods told by his girlfriend Crystal while he was away at said war. It's long but impressive; insane but hilarious; and like war, a story that sort of demands an appreciation for nuance if you're going to slog through its most depressing periods. Oh yes, and he sent it not only to his ex-girlfriend, but the current guy she MIGHT be seeing. Dear Matt, if you're reading, download this and don't ever question a girl's rape story again esp since you work for motherfucking BLACKWATER. And dear Crystal: don't fuck dude with emails like "fitnessguy@yahoo." Okay, and without further ado, a very, very crap email from a soldier...

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——-Original Message——-
From: Perkins, Matt SFC MIL USA USASOC
Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2008 1:53 AM
To: jerome.root@us.army.mil
Subject: crystal

You don't know me but I know of you. I understand that you've met Crystal and
have gotten to know her over a period of time now. No worries mate. This
email is not meant to cause you any problems or threaten you. I simply
wanted to forward this email that I've sent to Crystal. It's somewhat long
although I would encourage you to to read it. I'm uncertain as to what sort
of relationship you have with Crystal Although I know she has an interst in
you and I would suspect you have an interest in her. Just know this
brother, she did it to the guy before me, she did it to me and she'll do it
to you. Perhaps some years from now she'll grow out of whatever motivates
her to do what she does however, I don't think she's there yet. I also
understand you're an analyst. Interpret this email from an analytical
perspective. That's how I wrote it, from an analytical perspective.

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Crystal,

I suspect you will only read but the first few paragraphs of this letter,
gather an idea of where it's going, and then delete it. I would recommend
and encourage you to not only read this letter in its entirety, but study
and analyze it as well. There are things in this letter that you will want
to be aware of.

Our last conversation on 12 January was a farce. I was particularly
impressed with your creativity and ingenuity by acting as if our connection
was so bad that you couldn't hear me. Very childish that was Crystal, very
childish. I mean c'mon babe, a bad connection, please. Yet I'm not
surprised in the least. I've come to expect such avoidance from you. You
have always been an extremely poor communicator, especially when you're
backed into a corner and faced with a situation with which you cannot
defend. Your mother serves as a case in point. I had been telling you, and
telling you, and telling you again and again for some time that what your
mother was doing was seriously affecting me and that it was driving a wedge
between us. But you avoided any serious conversations with me about it.
Instead, you simply ignored the problem, perhaps thinking it would go away
and that you wouldn't have to deal with it. That was the wrong answer babe
and I moved out. You have seemingly developed a bad habit of ignoring or
simply running away from your problems. I feel sorry for you in that
regard.

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What I'm about to tell you may or may not come as a shock to you and it's
debatable whether or not my actions were justified or necessary. Some may
even say it's a low and disrespectful thing to have done and perhaps I would
agree. I nonetheless lack an apology and although I have reservations about
my actions, I feel I've done the right thing for myself.

For quite some time I have been monitoring you. I have done so actively and
passively and I have monitored most of your email correspondence and random
chats you've had online. Yes Crystal, I snooped and I spied on you. So what!
You gave me reasons to believe that you weren't playing by the rules so I
collected on you. Now what I'm about to say isn't meant to sling mud at
you. It's meant to provide you with a better understanding of how I feel
about you and how I have come to reach my conclusions and decisions. It
will also provide you with some insight as to why I wasn't always happy
during our relationship.

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PAST

Last year I learned that you had a one night stand with SFC Lyle. When I
learned about this I confronted you and you avoided any discussion about it.
I know how poor your memory is so I'll remind you.. One evening while I was
having a few beers with the boys at the GB club a conversation developed.
The conversation among the boys was how many POG girls have they all slept
with. I was shocked when SGT Lyle said he fucked Crystal Wyman in the
barracks in 2002. So Lyle tells his story and according to him you were
all over him and you were definitely letting him know that it was on if he
so desired. Naturally he says, he takes you back to your barracks room, you
put on a show for him and then you had sex with him. Of course I was upset
to hear and learn of this and I was also embarrassed. I just found out my
girlfriend had a reputation... I don't think anyone in the conversation knew
that you and I were dating. I hope not, that would be extremely
embarrassing. So what do I do? Do I hold it against you? I did want to
ask you about it because it was weighing heavily on my mind and when I did,
you did what you always do; you ran from the situation and avoided any
serious discussion about it. You presented yourself in such a way that I
knew you didn't want to talk about it so I thought it best to let it go. No
worries, it happened before we met and I don't generally get upset about
things a woman has done before me. However, when someone's past serves to
define a pattern of conduct and if it serves to define her character then
I'll take notes. Look Crystal, we all at one time exercise poor judgment, I
know this. We are in agreement that one night stands are an exercise in
poor judgment right?

Last year I also found a letter on my computer, a letter that you had
written. The letter was drafted in 2005 and how it got to my computer I'm
not sure. Maybe you were transferring files when your external drive
crapped the bed... I don't know. This letter takes us to January 2005, 9
Months before we met. This letter talked about your promotion to SGT and
the party you had that evening. You wrote that you had a gathering at the
GB club. Everyone had or was getting pretty hammered you wrote. As the
evening came towards its end you were left chatting it up with a newly
assigned NCO within your Battalion. You didn't mention his name however, as
you so eloquently stated, you wrote "He was so attractive and so nice and we
were so drunk that we did what two drunken people who were attracted to each
other usually do." (Usually do? What do drunken people usually do Crystal?)
You continued to write "He took me back to his place and we had sex." You
then went on to comfort yourself in this letter by writing about how much of
a mistake it was and that although the sex with him was great, you felt
ashamed. You then wrote that your boyfriend at the time found out about
your night of wild sex with someone you just met and then you wrote, and I
quote you, "Ohh well, it was over between him and I anyways." WTF? What
kind of crap is that Crystal? Did he know that it was over between you two
before or after you had sex with some dude you barely knew? You also wrote
that you didn't speak to anyone; you didn't accept or make any calls for
several days, that you felt ashamed. [At least I know you're capable of
having a conscience]. As I've stated in the previous paragraph, I don't
generally get upset with women for things they have done before they met me
however, when her history serves to define a pattern, her character and her
values then I become concerned.

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Sometime just after your promotion to SGT in January 2005 and not long after
your one night stand with the newly assigned NCO in your Battalion, and
subsequent break up with your boyfriend over that affair, you deployed to
Paraguay. I believe it was Feb/Mar 2005 time frame. That would be about 7
months before you and I met. Now you told me when we first met how you
contracted herpes and I believed you. I believed you when you said that you
had gotten drunk during your travels to Paraguay and you allowed yourself to
be taken advantage of. You told me that he was a smooth talking piece of
shit Black Muslim from 7TH group, that he was married and that he will get
his in the end. So basically, this was an evening where you exercised poor
judgment and you had sex with this guy in your hotel room. Only this time
he gave you Herpes. No worries, it happens sometimes babe. We all make
mistakes. But again Crystal, when our mistakes begin to define our character
and our values, WTF right? About a year after you first told me about this
affair, you told me this person had raped you. A bit of a contradiction
from your previous story don't you think? I thought so... But you said you
were raped and I wasn't going to push or pry into that. I thought maybe one
day you'll open up to me and we'll talk about it, but on your terms and when
you were ready. So I left it alone. So what is it Crystal? Did you simply
exercise poor judgment as a young lady or were you raped? Either way, you
lied to me at one point. In fact, you told me you were raped twice.. But I
didn't want to force you to talk about it so I let it go.

My Analysis... You're awfully young Crystal. You and I met when you were 22.
After a great deal of thought and piecing everything together, I've
concluded that over a very short period of time you have conducted yourself
in what I consider to be extremely reckless behavior. In a very short
period of time before you and I met you have had at least 3 one night
stands, and that's in addition to the relationships you've had before me.
Let's put it together. Lets map track this. You came to FT Bragg Dec 2001
and you were in AIT and language school for most of 2002. You and I met in
Oct 2005. In AIT you were locked down so it's reasonable to assume that you
didn't start dating anyone until you went to language school. Perhaps the
spring of 2002. So from April'ish 02 until OCT 05 is the timeline I have
established. So over a period of 3 yrs and change before you and I met you
had 3 one night stands, 4 boyfriends that you told me about, and 1
deployment. Wow, you were busy! The boyfriends... You told me you had a
boyfriend while you were in language school, it ended because he moved on to
another group, maybe 5th group... and you said he was an asshole anyways so
you let him go. There was Keith from 7TH group that lasted about a year you
said. You told me he cheated on you so you left him. There was the guy you
met on Match.com that you dated for a while before going to Paraguay. You
told me that he broke it off with you after you left for Paraguay. And
there was the guy you were dating after your return from Paraguay, just
before you met me. You said you broke up with him because he always wore
these ridiculous shirts that you couldn't stand and if I can remember
correctly, you had found used condoms in his apartment and that you thought
he was cheating on you. Now I already know that you cheated on one
boyfriend in the past but when did you have time for the other one night
stands if you were dating so frequently? You told me that you've never
dated openly, that you weren't one to do that. So when did you have time
for the one nighters? I'm left curious as to if you had cheated on other
boyfriends in the past. This is what my analysis has revealed babe and that
is the question that hijacks my thoughts when I'm trying to go to sleep at
night. I am always wondering if your past is being repeated with me and I
just cannot come to a conclusion because you never talk to me about
anything. You have left me guessing. The facts of your life before me I'm
certain about yet it would only be fair to say that my analysis could be
wrong however, your actions while you and I have been dating indicate that
you have never learned from the mistakes you made, moreover that you
continue to live your life recklessly.

Present

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Ok, now it's you and I. Oct 2005, you and I meet and we hit it off. As
time goes by you and I become very close very fast and we begin to fall in
love. Other than you telling me how you contracted herpes I was unaware of
your one night stands. We were doing very well. There wasn't a day that
went by that we weren't together doing something. Hell, I was paying $890 a
month for an apartment that I never slept in. We were doing very well, so I
thought. During my first tour in Iraq I became suspicious of you. You
might wonder why. Well, you sent me indicators. I called you often and you
always answered at first-no matter what day or time I called. It didn't
matter if it was a weekend or weekday, or if it was during the day or middle
of the night. You always answered. But then as the months went by you
would only answer your phone during the day from Monday through Thurs.
During the weekends I could never reach you and on evenings during the week
it was hit or miss. Now you say that your phone wasn't working, that
sometimes it wouldn't ring. Hmmm, it's possible. After all it was a $500
1st generation hip top phone with the latest technology so I suppose it's
plausible that your phone didn't always ring. Not likely yet plausible.
But funny how it always rang from Monday through Thursday with no issues and
funny how you always answered from Monday through Thursday but not when it
was the weekend. You never answered when it was party time. Did you ever
stop to realize that? And then there is mail. Other than x-mas, you never
sent me a single letter or package. WTF? Email..., at first you would email
me often but not long after I was gone, the emails stopped. So I developed
a suspicion that you were ignoring me on purpose. But why I wondered? For
what reason? After all, you were telling me you loved me with all your
heart. Was there something I didn't know? I was always wondering why I
wasn't more important than Itz, Paddy's and the other clubs you were
frequenting. Wow! How would that make you feel if I were to blow you off
when it was party time? How would you feel if you were stuck in Iraq and I
blew you off every Friday and Saturday night so I could go party with my
friends and others that you didn't know? It's not about you going out. I
was upset and I felt slighted because you put the partying before me. I
just didn't understand that you would tell me you loved me but it was
obvious that I was second to your night life. That's not cool babe. It was
when I came home on mid tour that I decided to monitor you. I sensed a
different Crystal. Something just wasn't the same and something wasn't right.
Call it intuition...

Before I even left on my return to Iraq from mid tour leave I started
collecting. I learned that while I was away you had met some guy on
MySpace. I left in May 06 if you remember and you met this guy in September
06. Now I remember this guy. His name was Stephan I believe. I could be
wrong about the name. I do remember that he was a Blackhawk pilot here at
Bragg, a CW2, 26 yrs old.. I looked over his MySpace and didn't see any
comments from you but he was leaving comments on your page. Innocent
comments from what I saw but once I checked your mail, I saw comments that
he left that you didn't allow to be posted. You were trying to keep this
guy a secret, to a point. You added him to your friends list yet you
wouldn't post many of the comments he sent to you. I particularly liked the
comment he made about a photo of you standing next to your Jeep in the drive
way. This is one you never allowed to be posted. You were wearing blue
Ranger panties and a white sports bra. You looked really good. The caption
you posted for this particular picture was "Isn't she beautiful," referring
to your Jeep of course. His comment was something like "Yup, she sure is.
When will I get to see her without her top?" Uh, I don't think he was
talking about the Jeep babe.
Now you barely know this guy and you have
purposefully kept him a secret and you definitely did not allow that comment
to be posted. Why, and for what reasons Crystal? If you weren't doing
anything wrong then what was there to hide? Crystal, I read all of the
messages he sent to you and all of the messages you sent to him. There was
definitely some foreplay going on and it was obvious that conditions were
being set for you two to have a little romance. I was most shocked to read
his message thanking you for "having him over last Sunday for lunch." And
"how cool he thought your mother was." What's shocking is all of this was
happening only 5 weeks before I was to come home on mid tour leave and
what's even more shocking was that you were telling me that you loved me
while you were beginning your romance with him. Now I grew very angry
although I never let you know of it. Crystal, I understand that your house is
your house. It's your name on the mortgage, not mine. But I lived there
with you. I slept in the same bed with you every night. We were in a
committed relationship and I contributed my share towards the mortgage.
Even though that was your house, it was nonetheless "Our Home" and you
brought some dude you met online into our home with the pretense that you
might cross the line with him. Please don't try and deny it Crystal. That
would only insult me all the more. I read the messages between you and him
and it didn't read like friendship as you later claimed. It read more like
a hook up about to happen. How do you think I felt about that? How do you
think I felt knowing that you were telling me only half of the truth? My
future wife, a women who will have kids with me one day yet she's on MySpace
bringing home other men. And she's lying about it! But I loved you. I
loved you so much and although you weren't playing by the rules and although
you weren't being fair to me I wasn't absolutely sure if you had crossed
that line. So I swallowed my pride and I stayed with you. In hindsight,
you had destroyed all trust I ever had in you and I was never able to
recover from that.

Now let's talk about Jeff Jacobs. Yup, 1SG Jacobs. Your old 1SG wasn't
he? You and I have argued about this a few times. Remember? You just
never knew I was aware of all of it until now. Now either you're awfully
stupid or you're just naive. I read the emails he sent to you while I was
in Iraq. They were playfully flirty but anyone with any common sense could
see that what he was saying and how he was saying it was obviously meant to
test the waters and gauge the opportunity he might have to score with you.
Of course he was careful in his selection of words. After all, there is
trouble to be had for him if the command knew he was trying to score with
one of his Jr. NCO's. Remember me saying to you that he's trying to get
down your pants, that he had an agenda? You should, we argued about it.
You remember? And you told me I was over reacting and that you didn't
understand why I was upset. You told me Jeff was just a friend. I'm sure
you were wondering why I was upset and how I could have suspected anything.
You told me I was acting weird. Remember that? You kept telling me to stop
acting weird. Ya, I suppose it did seem like I was acting weird. But it
all makes sense to you now doesn't it? Now that you know I was aware of his
emails to you and your emails to him. You hadn't a clue that I knew what
was going on so you simply thought I was acting weird. Then, no sooner than
I told you that Jeff had an agenda, that all he wanted was to hook up with
you, you went on an overnight camping trip with him. Why? How do you think
that made me feel? Now you had no idea at the time as to exactly what I
knew but I knew. And then you had him over at the house, our home, until
nearly dawn playing board games and drinking margaritas. WTF? Are you
really that naive or are you just stupid? What do you think a 38 yr old
single 1SG wants with a 23 yr old cutie like you? You think he was
interested in camping or playing chutes and ladders? C'mon, wake up Crystal!
And then your mother let it be known that he took you and her out to Texas
Road house for her 59th Birthday dinner. I remember calling you from Iraq
and asking you what you did for your mother's birthday. Ohhh yes, you told
me that you took your mother out to dinner but you conveniently left out
that Jeff was with you, that he paid for the dinner and that he was the one
who took you all out. Harmless, most people would say, but the deceit and
the withholding of his taking you out to dinner is what concerns me. It's
the deceitfulness and the lying that I'm enraged about. My suspicions were
confirmed in an email he sent to you some months later. Apparently you
confronted him about something, perhaps his agenda and his response was
along the lines of yes, at one time he wanted to pursue you but not now.
Then he wrote about how you kept flirting with him and he chastised you for
sending him those signals. He wrote that at one time you were sending him
signs that you were interested in him and he appeared angry with you in this
email for confronting him for his behavior when in fact you were sending and
reciprocating the same messages. And then he went off on a tangent about
how much he has done for you and your career and how you didn't value his
friendship. Remember that email? Or is your memory that poor? My
analysis... He wanted to fuck you and he knew you were in a relationship with
me when he was trying to make his play. How low can a fellow soldier get?
Trying to get down your pants while your man was deployed! WTF? I would
expect that from the average guy on the street but from another NCO, my
fellow NCO. That mother fucker has no integrity! But you! You encouraged
him and flirted with him. Don't deny it Crystal, I read the emails... You
brought him into our home. How fucking dare you disrespect me like that!
Yet another man who had but only one agenda on his mind and either you're
fucking stupid or simply naïve because you should have saw that coming,
especially after I told you that he had an agenda, especially after I
plainly told you that he was trying to make a play on you. But you let it
happen anyways. How do you think that made me feel? How would you feel if
it were me doing that to you? Also, your mother keeps the photo on the wall
that Jeff took of you and her at Texas Road house. I've had to look at that
photo every day since I've been home. Shit, it's still on your mothers
MySpace! It serves as a constant reminder of your deceit and your lies.
Can you even begin to imagine how I felt? And you occasionally wondered why
I was in a foul mood. Shit, I had to see that photo everyday when I got
home from work, usually just before I gave you the traditional evening hug
and kiss. And you always wondered why I was always in a foul mood...
You
probably still don't understand. This was not only a personal embarrassment
Crystal, but a professional embarrassment as well! I have to work with this
guy on occasion! Some of his friends are my friends! How do you think that
made me feel? But I didn't think you had cheated on me. I didn't think you
had actually crossed the line. And I loved you. I really loved you so I
swallowed my pride again and I stayed with you.

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And then there was fittnessguy (fittnessguy@yahoo.com). Yup, OCT 2007. I
read the chat history you had with this guy. It looks like you were
chatting it up with him in Sep 07. Interesting chat you had with him. Were
you simply bored or were you looking for some sex because you asked him for
his pic and when he sent that pic, you asked him for something with a little
less clothes on. The second pic he sent was quite impressive. Full nude
shot of himself lying on his bed holding his dick in his hand. And you
continued to chat with him. Lovely, just lovely. I was relieved however to
read the recorded chat log and after repeated request from him for you to
send him similar photo's, you declined. Ask yourself Crystal. How would you
feel if it was me asking girls on yahoo chat for naked pics? That would be
disrespectful wouldn't it? How do you think that made me feel?

And then there is Keith Williams. You dated him before me for what, about a
year, maybe longer right? It's obvious that you were at one time in love
with this guy and you once told me you were. But you left him because he
cheated on you right? So I'm still curious... Why do you still make an
effort to stay in touch with him? Why do you still talk to him? Ok, let's
just say for a moment that you don't have any feelings for this guy anymore.
And let's also assume that all you want is to just be his friend and that
you've let his cheating on you be a thing of the past. That's cool, for you
anyways. But you know Crystal, most men, to include myself, aren't
comfortable with their girlfriend or wife keeping up with the ex. You might
think so but most men aren't cool with it. Let me say that again Crystal
because I don't think you get it. MOST MEN AREN'T COOL WITH THEIR
GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE KEEPING UP WITH THE EX. And then you made every attempt
to keep it from me. That just makes it all the worse. At least you could
have just explained it too me. Also, I've noticed that it was always you
that contacted him. Then there would be a period of a few weeks where you
two would send messages back and forth and then it would stop. Then usually
a few weeks later, sometimes as much as a couple of months would go by and
then you would initiate contact with him again. Why Crystal? Why? Now the
deceit alone makes me wonder what the hell was going on. I also wasn't
impressed to see him sending you messages that implied you two hooking up.
I still miss you he would say. Let's get together... You're still smoking
hot. He would say things that played off of memories that you had with
him. It was obvious he still wanted to hit it. C'mon babe, wtf? Now I
can't really fault you for things he has done and the messages he has sent
to you. I realize you never reciprocated his sentiments and your replies to
him were harmless but you know what, you should have shut him down and made
it clear that he should stop with trying to hook up with you for sex. By
the way, isn't he married now? It's disrespectful to me that you allowed it
to happen. I have girlfriends that have an interest in me and on occasion
they make remarks that if you were to hear, well you would be upset. Since
you and I have been together, I have always politely told them that I prefer
they not flirt with me. Some people wouldn't believe that but I can
honestly say that while I have been with you I have always played by the
rules! I've always felt that it would have been disrespectful to you if I
were to encourage it and if I didn't put the kabash on it. But for the
entire time we have been together, roughly 2 ½ years, you continue to talk
with Keith and you continue to allow him to say inappropriate things to you.
And you know that I would have been upset by that yet instead of telling him
hey Keith, it's not going to happen so stop trying, you allowed him to make
plays on you. How would you feel if it were me who was doing that? I'm
sure you would want me to tell them to stop. I'm sure you wouldn't want me
talking to them. So what do you have to say about that?

Now understand, I make reference to Stephan the MySpace guy, Jeff Jacobs,
fittnessguy@yahoo.com and Anthony Williams because your actions with them
have served to define a pattern of inappropriate conduct since you and I
have been together. You and anyone else you might share this letter with
might say Greg is definitely a very mad and jealous ex boyfriend and he's
just trying to exact some revenge... He's just trying to hurt you, get back
at you, sling some mud and embarrass you. Whatever... This letter is not
meant to change the attitudes or opinions of others that will never find any
wrong in you. BotTim line is this. If I had done all of these things to
you, if I had been as deceitful to you as you have towards me, you would
leave me just the same. If it were me doing these things to you, your
friends would swear up and down that I had cheated on you, that I'm a
horrible guy and that you should dump me. C'mon Crystal, let's be objective
about it. You know I'm right.

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As I mentioned earlier, I would agree to some extent that my actions can be
considered as being a pretty low blow. You were telling me that you were in
love with me. But the way you were acting and your absence during the
weekends created doubt. I was thinking that I don't ever want to get
divorced again. You and I had already been talking openly about getting
married and I wanted to make sure I wasn't making a mistake with you. So I
decided to collect on you for reassurance that I wasn't making a mistake.
Some may say that there is no excuse for snooping on you. Well, that's a
difference of opinion. I'm not sure what your take is on marriage and the
commitment it brings however, I hold it in high regard and as a very serious
thing. I suspected you weren't playing by the rules so I took steps to find
out. I tried to talk with you about some of my concerns but you avoided
me.. So I collected on you instead. Deal with it.

Lastly, there is Jerry. Now I like Jerry. I read his emails to you and he
specifically asked if your ex was truly an ex. Which by the way, I wasn't
aware that we had called it quits when you were having this email exchange
with him. I didn't know it was over between us until after I had returned
from Blackwater. Yet you were chatting it up with him, telling him you were
single and getting to know him... So Jerry asks you if I was really an ex.
He also wrote that he didn't want to come in between anything. I was
impressed with that. At least this guy has values or at least from what I
read of his emails to you I would suspect he's a person with strong moral
convictions. I was hurt to read your flirty and playful replies to him
about coffee and giving to charity. The emails didn't indicate that you two
were hooked up but it was obvious that you were sizing him up and he was
doing the same. What hurts is Just a couple of weeks before you started
chatting it up with Jerry you told me how much you loved me, how you wanted
to marry me ect ect... So it hurt because I was confused as to how easily
you were able to move on and so soon. I was also hurt to know you went out
with him before I was even moved out of your house and I was hurt to see the
pictures of you two. [Thanks to Tim who stole the camera]. By the way,
isn't this the same Tim that Kim was sleeping with when she was on mid tour
leave this past Aug/Sep? Isn't Tim married? Anyways, I was shocked to read
an email Kim sent to you last Sep. Apparently when she was home on mid
tour, you and her visited Jerry at his place. I particularly liked her
reference to him as being your special friend. Judging the dates of her mid
tour I've determined that we were still together when you were visiting
Jerry. So you visit this guy at his house and then you come home and get
into bed with me? What do you have to say about that? So I move out as
planned and about a month later, perhaps 5 weeks we reconciled and got back
together in what I thought was again, a committed and monogamous
relationship. I was devastated to learn that you called Jerry the very day
that I left for this current tour. WTF were you thinking? I asked you
about him in the past and you simply said he was just a friend. Well babe,
if he's just a friend then why were you trying to keep him a secret? If
there's nothing going on then there's nothing to hide right? And on JAN 12
when I called you and confronted you about Jerry, why did you refer to him
as that guy? When I asked you what was going on between you and Jerry you
said, and I quote you, "I don't even talk to that guy." "That guy" as if he
was simply just some distant acquaintance with whom you seldom talked to and
with whom you barely knew. But what you didn't know is that I knew you had
just asked him if he was interested in having dinner with you. I knew you
had been texting him often and talking with him from time to time. I knew
you had been to his house. So what!... you might say. But lying about it
is just wrong Crystal. And don't pass him off as just some guy that you
barely know! And don't refer to him as "That guy"... geese Crystal! At least
give Jerry some fucking respect and own up to it! Now how do you think I
felt about you at that moment? Stephen the MySpace guy, Jeff, Keith,
Fittnessguy and now Jerry, that's why I ended it with you that evening from
Baghram!

Crystal, you have lied to me, been deceitful with me, disrespected me by
flirting with other men in my absence on several occasions, and you have
also done this in the presence of your friends. You have conducted yourself
as if you were a single women while we were in a relationship. How do you
think I am supposed to feel when we go out with your friends and they know
that I've been played and I don't know it? But I do know it. I always felt
as though they were laughing at me. And you always wondered why I was
reluctant to go out. I was embarrassed to be seen with you babe because you
were and are a player, a liar and a cheater. And that's embarrassing.

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Let's talk about rape. I'm going to set you straight on this. You told me
you were raped twice. Forgive me if I don't believe you. After I learned
about your one night stand with Lyle I tried to corner you into talking
about it. It was when you were trying to avoid any discussion with me about
it that you told me you were raped. You didn't cry and you weren't
emotional about it. You just blurted it out. And you never said Lyle
raped you. You just blurted out that you were raped. I've met Lyle. I
don't know him that well but I nonetheless know him. I believe you pulled
"rape" out of your bag of tricks to get me to back off of the Lyle
situation, and it worked. I backed off and we never talked about your one
nighter with him. But you know Crystal, it doesn't make sense. Any women who
has been raped twice is not going to continue to go out with others that
they hardly know and get shit faced, and rely upon those with whom they
barely know for their safety and security and their ride home. You've done
that since we met and you continue to do so nearly every weekend that I'm
away. What I think really happened was you simply got shit faced drunk, you
willingly went home with these guys and you had consensual sex with them.
But when you woke up sober and realized that you made a mistake, you began
to rationalize it and in order to deal with it in a way that would enable
you to retain some dignity and respect for yourself, you convinced yourself
you were raped. And you never said a word. You never called the police and
you never filed charges. Look babe, just because you get drunk and have sex
with someone you don't know, well that's not rape, that's simply you
exercising poor judgment and it's an indicator of your character and values.

Your mother. Now the situation she created was why I moved out on you last
September and it has been downhill for you and I ever since. I understand
she's in chronic pain. I know that! But that doesn't give her a pass to be
nasty to me! I cannot forget the things I have heard her say. I also find
it insulting that she has sold it to you, your friends and her friends that
I had been eves dropping and snooping on her. Ha! As if I have been
placing my ear on her door or something. Fuck you, fuck her and your
friends if you believe that shit. Truth be told, your mother sits in that
room of hers all day and she talks on the telephone all day to her cross
dressing friends and to Tim Johnson. She doesn't just talk, she puts her
phone on speaker, lays it on the dresser I assume, and raises the volume to
its highest level and she talks into it from across the room. You can hear
her spew her filth from where ever you are in the house, especially through
the floor vent in your bedroom. Eves dropping on her my ass! I'm hard of
hearing and I could hear everything she ever said. I could hear it even as
I was trying to ignore it! I have heard her talk about how worthless I am,
how I don't deserve you, how you are better than me and how you're going to
be an Officer and that I'm just a dirty enlisted man not worthy of you. I
have heard her tell her friends that I'm potentially violent and that she
fears for your safety. I have heard her tell her friends that I am an
alcoholic and that I am potentially destructive. I have heard her compare
me to your father and I've heard her talk about how worthless he was. I
have heard her say all of that shit and I have heard her say it more than
once. I am insulted! And after I told you all of this you did nothing!
You even blamed me for trying to put you in the middle of it! I have also
read the emails from Tim Johnson that your mother has forwarded to you. Who
is this guy who thinks he knows me well enough to judge me? Who is he to
analyze me and tell you that you should leave me? Who is he to tell you
that you shouldn't date an enlisted man? What, because I'm enlisted does
that mean that I'm a member of a lower class of society? Who is this guy
and what gives him the right to judge me? I will never forgive your mother
for the crap that she has done to drive a wedge between you and I and I will
never forgive you for not doing anything about it. I will never forgive you
for avoiding this situation and for running from it. Mark my words Crystal.
That mother of yours will do this again with any man that tries to capture
your heart. Do you honestly think it's about me? Your mother is convinced
that there is no man that is good enough for you. I just happen to be the
first poor fool that she has set her claws into. Ohhhh, you bet she will do
it again, mark my words. And even after all of this, I was still willing to
let go of all the deceit and lies and the flirting with other men as well as
the problems with your mother. After all of this I still loved you, can you
believe that! I didn't want to quit on you and I wanted to make it work.
Boy was that a mistake! Crystal, If you take anything from this, you must
realize that I left you last September only because of your mother. Don't
ever forget that. I asked you once before however, let me pose this
question again. How many Greg's will leave your ass before you finally
realize that you need to put that mother of yours in her place?

Additionally, I have to speak my mind on this. I've noticed that you've
been telling a few people that you broke it off with me because you've never
been able to get over my moving out on you. That my impulsiveness is
"something you cannot bare." Whatever Crystal! I had been telling you for a
good while that your mother was driving a wedge between us and that you need
to do something about it. You ran from the situation and you wouldn't even
talk to me about it. Hell, you even blamed me for "trying to put you in the
middle of it." I told you twice before I moved out that I was going to move
unless you did something about it but you didn't listen. And then you tell
everyone I'm impulsive! That's just not true babe. I gave you fair warning
that I was going to leave unless you did something about your mother. I
can't help it if you chose to ignore it. My being impulsive is just some
bullshit you made up to rationalize the break up. Get over it! And then
you've told Kim and others that you can't get over my "Taking you for
granted." WTF? Are you serious? Me? I took you for granted? Ya, OK. So
spin the truth however you wish, I don't care. This isn't high school and I
really don't care who broke up with who. If it makes you feel better to
tell others you left me then great! It's irrelevant to me. The end result
is still the same. We're not together anymore and your mother is largely a
part of that.

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Look Crystal, this letter is not meant to be a form of payback. It's not
meant to hurt your feelings although I'm sure it will. I would be lying if
I said I wasn't mad... Of course I am however, I'm more disappointed with you
than anything. Simply stated, you have ran from any serious discussions
that we should have had and you have even reverted to childish antics by
acting as if you couldn't hear me when I called you from Baghram. As if the
connection was bad. Please, that was bullshit and you know it, and I'm
insulted by it! This letter serves as my closure. I've called you out on
your lies and your deceit and your behavior and I don't really care if you
respond or not. But know this. Between you and I and God himself, you know
you have seriously screwed up our relationship. I'll concede to a point
that my collecting on you was a pretty low blow but you know, I'm not at all
apologetic. Just to think that if I wasn't aware of any of this, you and I
would probably have gotten married and I'm convinced that it would have only
been a matter of time before I would have divorced you.

I have always considered myself to be a good judge of character. The only
explanation for misjudging you is simply that I was caught up in your
beauty. That's about all you have Crystal. You're a good looking women I'll
give you that however, beneath that sexy exterior of yours is a shallow
person with absolutely no integrity, no character and questionable values.
I've always told you Crystal, it takes more than a nice ass and a pretty face
but I guess you weren't paying attention. I've also told you numerous times
that I refuse to compete with anyone for your attention. Ohh, I remember
how mad you would get when I would tell you that. You should have listened
to what I was saying.

I'm still asking myself why. Why did you do all of these things? I have
always treated you with respect. Even when I knew you were flirting with
and bringing home other men I continued to treat you with respect. I have
never abused you, physically or mentally. We have had our share of heated
discussions but we never shouted at eachother and I've never threatened you.
I've never held anything over you and I have never tried to manipulate you.
I have never cheated on you and I have never conducted myself in a way that
would have disrespected you or embarrassed you. I have never spoken poorly
about you to anyone. I'm not perfect either Crystal, I know that, but I have
always treated you well! And I have always played by the rules! You
however have shamed me, lied to me and embarrassed me on several occasions.

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You know Crystal, with all of this... With all of this knowledge of your past I
still loved you and I was willing to let it all go and be as forgiving as It
might have took to make it work between you and I but you screwed it up.
You screwed it up when you began repeating your past. You screwed it up
when you started flirting with other men and bringing them into our home.
You screwed it up when you began conducting yourself in ways that you would
not have if I were there with you. You screwed it up when you started lying
to me and being deceitful with me. Yet I still tried... With knowing all of
this, you past behavior and what you've been doing when I wasn't around, I
still tried to be patient and forgiving but damn girl, you just kept doing
this shit. You have obviously continued to live up to your past and it has
served to define your true character and your values with which I do not
find attractive in the least. I am left extremely embarrassed and
disappointed by many of the things you've done since we've been together. I
am ashamed that I have misjudged your character. I'm embarrased that I fell
in love with you and that I stayed with you for so long. I do not find you
attractive whatsoever... Not anymore. Although you are a very pretty young
lady you are nonetheless a very ugly person on the inside. All I ever asked
of you was that you be honest with me, that you play by the rules. What
happened Crystal? Why couldn't you play by the rules?

But it wasn't all bad and I think you would agree. We shared some awesome
times... Some good times. Anyone who reads this letter would think otherwise
but we did, we shared some good times. But you know, the lies, the
disrespect and the deceit seem to overwhelm all the good that you and I ever
had. I'm sorry. You fucked it up by lying to me. I still say to myself,
"Man, this can't be happening." I'm in that state of mind that it's still
difficult to see myself move on without you in my life. Law school in a few
years, vacations in Florida, our upcoming trip to Greece to visit Lance and
Deborah, your commissioning and success in the Army, the prospect of a lil
T-rish or Greg. And then there is the daily life and the times that we
could have shared. The simple things in life... All those things and yet
more. It's hard to accept that either I'll be doing it alone or with
someone else. It's hard to accept that you won't be by my side anymore.
But that will pass and besides, I've come to realize that you haven't been
by my side in a pretty good while so essentially, I've lost nothing. You've
been too busy chatting and flirting it up with other men and ignoring me.
WTF were you thinking? You know, that's cool if that's what you wanted but
man, you kept telling me you wanted to get married and you kept telling me
you loved me. I just don't get it. I would like to know... Why couldn't you
play by the rules babe? Why couldn't you always think of how I would be
affected by the things that you were doing? I guess we just have different
perspectives on what a monogamous and committed relationship is supposed to
be.

You sent me an email the other day, 15 or 16 JAN, and you asked me if I was
ok. Crystal, I'm no longer your concern. You had your chance and you blew it
babe. I accepted you for who you are with no conditions but you fucked it
up. You are mistaken also. You wrote in that email that you still worry
about me as much as I worry about you. Crystal, I don't worry about you
anymore. I feel sorry for you that you live with that mother of yours and I
think you seriously lack character and values and I also think you have a
different perspective on relationships than do I. But no, I do not worry
about you and I do not care about you anymore. But to answer your question,
I'm fine. The Doctors here at Landstul are taking great care of me. I
fully expect to return to the fight. Thanks for asking.

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This letter probably has angered you beyond measure. That's not my intent.
Also, this letter probably has caused you some level of embarrassment. I
think you should be more concerned about how you live your life rather than
the embarrassment this letter may have created. I think you should think
about living a life that incorporates christain values rather than continue
with your past and current behavior.

Lastly, I've had myself tested again and you'll be happy to know that I'm
negative for HSV. Being careful payed off! Good luck Crystal. LOL, and no,
I'm not at Landstul for Herpes. LOL Being here is simply a good opportunity
to get that checked out. I will move on, it's just a matter of time and I
now have that assurance that when I do meet the next, I won't be carrying
your baggage.

Now write yourself another journal entry and say "Oh well, it was over
between him and I anyways."

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