Vibrating Cock Rings Stimulate Conversation More Than Clits

I think it's kinda cool that those disposable vibrating cock rings have made it into the mainstream, and are being advertised on TV and sold in drug stores. The NY Observer has an article all about the growing popularity of the disposable vibe rings, sold by various condom companies for about $10 a pop. But something about the Observer's coverage irked me because although almost all the women interviewed raved about the product, in reality, it sucks. I should know — I've tried about $200 worth of them!

Okay, first of all, the sort of vibration used in the ring is not my steez at all. It's that unchanging, steady kind that's so fast it's almost unnoticeable. I need a chunkier ride. (Think off-road terrain or when something heavy and unbalanced is in the washing machine.) Beyond that, the battery only lasts for about 20 minutes. That's not so bad, but you should get some more time with it. Paying 50 cents a minute for subpar action. I know I sound ridiculous, like, "This sucks and there's not enough of it!" But whatever!

The biggest problem with vibrating rings is that they sit at the base of the dude's dick. The idea is that it's supposed to rub up on your clit when it makes contact. But in order to feel any of it, the dude has to keep his peen in there, and press the vibe up on you, so inevitably, you have to choose between the vibe and thrusting.

Here's my suggestion if you're into penetration and vibration at the same time: You lie on your back, then have the dude lie on his side next to you. Drape your legs over him — so it's almost like you're sitting sideways in his lap, except laying down — and have him fuck you that way. This makes it so you can be totally free with your vibe on your clit, without any awkward maneuvering or body parts in the way.

But anyway, as far as those vibrating cock rings go, it is nice to see women's needs addressed beyond "ribbed for her pleasure." (BTW, have women ever derived pleasure from, or even noticed, the ribbing on condoms?) And it does help to kill off the retarded stigma that only ugly old maids or lesbians use vibrators. So this is progress! We haven't necessarily arrived, but we're cumming.*

*I actually just plagiarized myself there.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzmmmmmmmmm ... oh ... oh ... oh ... oh ... [NY Observer]