She's a man, baby!

Ugh I'm so glad I don't have to look at her anymore. Her lips are just so gross. The best part of Angelique is VH1's transcription of her accent--so funny!

My 2nd favorite element of this episode was how many times the club owner dropped the name of the place while on camera. So friggen LA. My first favorite was watching that walking veneral disease and her horrifying tits of doom.

@Macloserboy: My thoughts exactly. You can make those tatas as big as watermelons, but they're still not gonna help that face.

"That is insanely awesome"...Bret Michaels, great wordsmith of the 21st century. A true Renaissance man.

Of course ahm gonna git nekkid lookit me ahm sofa king hought!!

I thought trash was Bret's style? I kinda thought she was kinda funny. The rest of the girls are really boring.

@Macloserboy: This is why we love you so, sweetheart!

And is it just me, or do you love how the write out the subtitles phonetically? This cracks my shit up for some reason. But then again, I drink a lot.

This season isn't nearly as fun as the first one. The girls don't have personalities and Brett keeps talking about his boner(s). Gross.

@Macloserboy: She totally used to be. The links to her porn agent's site provided very graphic proof she no longer has any male bits. My eyes will never recover.

SOO much buhgina face this season. Do these women know that they've made their mouths look like genitals?

I caught the end of this last night. It is seriously frightening how many of these girls look like Bret Michaels.

@hammerimissu: She's really a one trick pony. Once she licked chocolate off her nipple, there's no where else to go.

@AndYourLittleDogToo: Favorite quote from last season: "I need to figure out how to get her (Heather) off the stripper pole and onto mine." Love it!

@hortense: It's narcissism - the love that keeps on giving.

Do any of these girls really WANTS to date Bret? Or is appearing on this show just a step on the ladder to "success"? I really can't figure it out. Both options are equally sad.

..I think I meant WANT...

@LaComtesse: "tits of doom" LOLZ.

I can't belive that she was too trashy even for Bret. When he says stuff like, "She has a nice ass, though" it's plainly obvi that he's grossed out and just trying to be nice. He may be a silicone-mongering man-whore, but at least Bret is not a cruel human being. He's not about to kick a skank while she down.

I'm so with you on this, SM. Quit complaining about spoilers when the show has already aired, people. If you have it DVR'ed or whatever and just haven't gotten around to watching it yet, you should probably stay away from this thing called the Internet where people talk about things that have happened in the world. That's what I do. Man, that sounded grouchy...sorry, it's Monday.

Anyway, yes, this season is not doing much for me, sadly. Even bringing Lacey back turned out to be boring and uneventful. All she did was beat up a baby, and typing that out I just realized that it was nowhere near as awesome as it sounds.

@bangieb: ha! the boyfriend and i are convinced that bret michaels is far smarter than he seems at first.

this does not, of course, mean he's actually *intelligent.*

It was funny how Bret was trying to pretend like he was turned on by her "dancing" when his eyes were saying GROSS!

How about the other chick admitting that she was still legally married? Fame-whore much?

He does have children, so he really can't date someone that will give them nightmare...

Dude looks like a lady!

I don't see how anyone can touch Bret Michaels without some disinfectant.

He talked about his boners a lot last season too. But I agree. This season is less fun, and the women are...well...they just are.

His bandana is growing every week. That lavender rig he had on last night was bigger than his frickin' head.

Who is he? He looks like that hair stylist of the stars from the 80's Jose something.

Ladies, I totes understand the validity of re-capping shows and talking about who gets sent home, but is it too much to ask for you not to put the 'spoiler' in the title? Is that really going to hurt your post that much? I'd hate to think I would have to stop visiting Jezebel until I was fully caught up on all of my shows just to be safe.

Now I know who Angelique reminds me of - Dee Snider of Twisted Sister.

When Bret said, "She does have a nice ass, though," he was wearing what I like to refer to as the Threesome Face. As in, he is saying this to his "Hungarian love tank" (lovvve it) only to gauge her openness to a possible menage a trois, not because he needs a second opinion. As evidence, I ask you to imagine Heather in this situation last season--HOW FAST would she have said, "Ohmigod, totally hot," even though she is in no way interested in women.

Oh don't tell me that VH1 gave her a froggy accent in the subtitles.

@blackbirdfly: Seriously. And that entire house must reek of Designer Imposters and Aqua Net.

I finally saw an episode of this show. It's bringing out the germophobe in me. I like Angelique though, bb has no shame and proud of it!

This part of a giant block of "sad middle-aged men" on VH1. It starts with Brett then continues on with Scott Baio and Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight and their brides or brides-to-be. I cut Scott Baio a break, because while it is in inches, he is struggling to evolve. Christopher Knight gets no slack because I'm just too amused that he's realizing the problems of the age difference. He's essentially raising his wife! I loved his freakout over her lezzie layout.

Angelique was the only interesting girl on the show! Even if everytime she was on camera she was naked or wearing a tube top and i would have to shout "oh my god PUT ON A BRA!"

@hortense: Bwah !!! Why did Bret get rid of Roxy? He always gets rid of the minority girls - Bret are you scared of a little color in your life? That Daisy thing looks like a cross between Bret Michaes and ANgelique. Why did her get rid of her? Mangelique was the new hottie. Bring on Foofy

@AndYourLittleDogToo: Methinks all the boner talk is compensating for diabeetus dick.

@hortense: That was the most awesome description I have read yet! Thanks for the laugh!

I was kinda ticked off that he said sexual attraction and chemisty were the most important things. I mean, yeah, but hello?? Could this show be any more fake? "I'm just looking for hot chicks who want to climb the fame ladder...."

@hortense: That house smells of Britney Spears "Fantasy".

@AshleyStIves: I love that you spelled diabetes the way he pronounces it! It always make me think of Wilford Brimley. Which is probably not a good thing when he's trying to attract young women.

Maybe she got kicked off because she's always making that weird, strung-out, frog-eyed bobble-headed expression at him.

@katastic: That's her "come hither" look.

@bangieb: Well, he did write one of the most prolific, and lyrical, songs of all time: Unskinny Bop.

@mightymouth: Gah.

I sincerely hoped they Cloroxed the shit out of that stage when she was through.

Aw, Trangelique is gone!

This season is not as fun as the last one. Boring girls and they're having to really push the drama. I didn't see how Kristy Joe "trashed" the other team by chatting with the gals over her bowl of cereal.

And, full disclosure, I think Kristy Joe is hot, in the sense that she's the hottest one in the house. Outside of that house and this TV show, I wouldn't even look her way.

But I still don't think she started anything.

I will miss Angelique, but at least we still have Inna, the "Ukranian Love Tank."

Say what you will about Angelique, she was a fun girl.

I can't tell the rest of the bland drama queens apart. *yawn*

Roxy and Sara were two of the prettier girls in the house. Bret's bias for skanky blondes is seriously limiting. But maybe they were smarter too, since he dumped them because they weren't into him enough.

Wait...this is a strip club that dosent allow nudity?

@AndYourLittleDogToo: I like to imagine that in 20 years, Bret Michaels will take Wilford Brimley's place as spokes-celeb in those 'diabeetus awareness/health care services' TV commercials (with bandana w/ blonde extensions tied firmly in place).